INTERVIEW WITH ADULT VIDEO STAR ALANA EVANS

We initially contacted Alana Evans prior to our trip to Vegas for the 2005 Adult Expo. While we didn't get a chance to meet up with Alana during the show, she was nice enough to answer a handful of our dumb questions once we got back to the east coast. In case you don't know, Alana Evans is a seasoned adult video starlet, and has starred in WAY more movies than we can count, so she is exactly the kind of person we want to hit up for an interview...she's a gal with some stories to tell.

Steve C: OK, let's get the important stuff out of the way. What are you wearing at this very moment? (no lying. We have satellites with big cameras on 'em and dogs that can sniff out undergarments...or lack thereof)

Alana Evans: At this very moment...I'm wearing my my Jamaica green pants and a pink T shirt that reads peace and love....with a big rainbow and mushroom on it....no panties...and I'm actually wearing an undershirt like my mom told me:)

Steve C: To maintain any kind of career in the adult business (in FRONT of the camera, that is), you have to stay in great shape. Describe if you would, what you had to eat yesterday and how much excercise you did this week?

Alana Evans: Yesterday I had a shake for breakfast, a turkey sandwich/ fried zuccini circles, rootbeer, and last night chicken, vegetables, and rice....no lie. I usually work out 3 times a week...went to the gym today:) (she's probably telling the truth. We hate it when these girls tell us they eat cheeseburgers and don't work out. The only way you can do that is if you have a hose running right from your mouth to your ass, bypassing all digestive function)

Steve C: After visiting Las Vegas for the Adult Expo and the AVN Awards this year, and meeting a number of young ladies, I learned that a lot of the women proudly label themselves as 'whores'... if you don't mind us asking, how big of a whore are you, Alana?

Alana Evans: I'm the best whore of them all. Lot's of girls like to play with the name because it gives them power. I already have the power...being a whore is fun. We are all whores...the pimp varies. (now THAT, kids...is honesty. Sex. Money being exhanged. Whore pride. Nice)

Steve C: I have read that you refuse to augment your body surgically...Now, keep in mind that one day sooner or later, you'll hit a point where your hips droop a little more than they used to and your boobs droop a little more than they used to...if a little nip and tuck could lengthen your earning ability for a few years, would you consider it?

Alana Evans: You read I refused to get my boobs done years ago...when I was young and doing the whle "little girl" look. Now that I have grown into a woman, it's time for boobies. I want breasts I can actually fit the stick between, ya know. The coolest thing is I'm hooked up with www.BoobGrant.com Anyone can go donate money towards my boobies! The cool thing is donaters get access to before and after pictures with no recurring fees. All the money donated goes right to the girls:) The donation levels are cup sizes...cup A to cup DD. Each cup has a different dollar amount and different galleries. There are two other girls right now that are total next door. The idea is to help girls buy boobs that can't afford them. Helpin' a girl out... (She's right; I double-checked and the interview I was referring to was done in 2002...she's entitled to change her mind)

Steve C: When you operate your own website, you have to accept the fact that you're going to be putting up with a number of different members and personalities. You don't have to name names, but out of all the guys who subscribe to your site, who would you say is the biggest oddball you have come across? (give examples, please...an odd Email, request, gift, etc)

Alana Evans: The biggest oddball huh? I have a few...but I love them:) The strangest one is the guy that wants me to talk shit to him. Instead of your standard nice emails, he requests that I verbally abuse...talk down to him...tell him he's a loser and only his mom loves him....how's that? (That'll do quite nicely, actually. His initials wouldn't be 'JN' would they?)

Steve C:According to the BIO on your site, when you were a young lady, you had sex in "so many crazy places a teenager ...baseball fields, parks, movie theatre bathrooms, restaurant office, fitting room..." of ALL those places, which was your absolute favorite? Which was your LEAST favorite?

Alana Evans: I love to have sex in public. My favorite was an excursion with a hot guy on our first date....I dragged him down from the pier to the beach and about 5 in the evening. It was still light out and we did it on the sand in front of the life guard tower. Very hot and quite exposed. My least favorite was when I was younger...this guy I was dating couldn't wait anymore...we started in one place and moved to the backseat of his car.... it was 2 in the afternoon on a Saturday and we were in a business district by my high school. He tried to take me to the school and I freaked out about getting caught...made him take me home. For the record...I've never been busted...

Steve C:I've heard that more and more women in the adult business are getting into the escort biz. Is this something you've considered? If so, what would you charge a fella for a night out on the town (you know, the usual... movie, tacos, a mango-sized dump on the forhead...)

Alana Evans: Sorry....don't do the dump on the forehead thing...no fecal matter:) As for being a real whore...it I don't know. It isn't something that comes up too often. You want to party with me...let's go. You want to buy me stuff cool...but I don't want your money after sex....I'll spend it straight from your pocket:) It's more fun to bang for free. (what's a fella got to do to get pooped on these days? Sheesh)

Steve C: You're in what could be called an 'Open Relationship'... you and your fella can play around with other people as much as you want, and you still come home to one another at night. How did the subject of this relationship develop? If you were going to explain the merits of an open relationship to a faithful, married gal...how would you go about doing it?

Alana Evans: My relationship started on that premise. I was in the adult business when I met my crazy other half so he knew what he was getting into. I'm not like the lame whores that won't share. My boy is digging in the trenches just like me. Work is work...then we have each other. We play with our friends too...I had all of his and he's even had mine. Hell...I even had his ex-wife:) Sex is fun but it's only sex. Having an open relationship is great...there is no reason to cheat when it's ok. We've totally removed that element. Jealousy is a usless emotion. (Amen, Sister! Where are all of the women with the Alana Evans mentality? They can't all be on the west coast...)


Now THAT is an 'Open Relationship'...Girls kissing!

Steve C: Sex scenes and performers in the adult business push the envelope more and more every day (it seems that any girl even thinking about a career in porn has to agree to double-anal just to get in the door)... is there anything you, Alana, will flat out REFUSE to do...regardless of the paycheck?

Alana Evans: I refuse to pee on anyone, do anything with feces, no double anal for me, absolutely no animals....and I won't bang a chick with an attitude. Other than that...I'm an easy girl. Literally. (She got into the business years ago; she'd risk never getting work if she was just getting into the biz nowadays)

Steve C: You just got back from a dance tour. Many porn girls have told horror stories of the behavior in strip clubs across the country. Guys get too rowdy, they try to grab the girl on stage, they think that they can stick their fingers somewhere they shouldn't...etc... What's the most disturbing/dangerous/awful thing that ever happened while you were on tour?

Alana Evans: The worst thing I've ever had to deal with was a crappy hotel booking. I arrived to the hotel that a club had booked for me in Philadelphia...the carpet was rippled...the hotel room door was like plywood...so we bailed. I took a cab to the Holiday Inn and the driver told me a woman was mudered in her room last week. I told the manager I had a problem and he actualy said no other girls had ever complained..ha. (Damn. If a crappy hotel booking is all that you've had to deal with, then you probably got off easy)

Steve C: Hypothetical situation: A meaty-bosomed little man approaches you one night while on tour in the New York area with a briefcase in his hand. He opens the briefcase to reveal what looks like about FIVE million dollars in cash. The man explains to you that all of it is yours if you agree to star in his new videos, titled I blew a goat Parts 1-5... You're looking at a million bucks per video, all tax free. Do you suck it up and take the cash, or tell him to find another gal?

Alana Evans: A fat man with a briecase and a goat...um...no. 5 million isn't enough to buy my career. That's like asking Ron Jeremy to do a gay movie.... (you know what? I'll bet you anything Ron will get to the point one day where he is totally bored with chicks and decides to check out a guy-on-guy scenario...not saying it has happened...just saying it might)


Hear that, fellas? No Pooping!

Steve C: There's a lot of porn online...GIGABYTES of it, much of which can be obtained for free. Given the sheer amount of free smut online, why should someone pay 20 bucks per month to look at your website?

Alana Evans: You can see the same pictures of me on just about every free site that features me. Alana sucking a big black dildo...they're everywhere. On my website, www.alanaevans.com you get me now and then....and everything in between. I have pictures and video from the start of my career till now. You get access to my diary, my webcam shows, my ksexradio.com show, plus 11 other girls websites....for $20. I think it's worth every penny. (Now that she mentions all of that, it really does seem like a deal)

Steve C: Describe, if you would... the PERFECT sandwich.

Alana Evans: The perfect sandwich....two chicks stacked together...some salami...and some mayo.... (salami? Mayo? Sounds awfully slippery. Boys, get me some lunchmeat!)

Always Nasty, Alana Evans (you most certainly are...and we love you for it)

Check out Alana's official website: AlanaEvans.com

Also, check out the hundreds of videos Alana has appeared in!