CLEVELAND DOWN...OFF TO BUFFALO!

It's 4:00 in the morning. I'm sitting here in the Hampton Inn in Buffalo, New York. I know that in about twelve hours, I'm supposed to be somewhere called Sphere Entertainment Complex and doing...something for the Opie And Anthony radio show. It's been a few days since I wrote some kind of journal entry, so I know I have to make this one a tad more special. Here goes...

The Cleveland gig was very cool, and we saw many boobies. I met a few people from Wackbag (I think one guy said his name was 'Weldhelmet' or 'Welder's Helmet'... he was also cool enough to give me a copy of the TV interview Op and Ant did with channel 3 on a CD-R... anywho...). We learned an essential piece of information about Cleveland as well; hot chicks are in abundance. Now, I don't know if they were actual residents of Cleveland, or if they were suburban gals, but holy shit - you could not fling a booger in this joint without hitting a girl with a pretty face and an amazing ass. We tooled around the Cleveland club scene for a few hours after the meet-and-greet, and finally crashed in the wee hours of the morning.

Another interesting fact about Cleveland: There's an abundance of homeless people and they all want some kind of handout. When I tell you that we couldn't walk two city blocks without getting hit up by SEVEN bums or drug addicts all asking for spare change, I am telling you the God's honest truth. You ever see the film Dawn Of The Dead? You know, the one with the deserted city streets and the zombies running around? Yeah, well that's what Cleveland is like. Needless to say, we had to get the hell out of there.

The morning after the gig at The Blind Pig in Cleveland, we all got a little antsy and decided to leave town. We're learning this whole 'on the road' thing as we go, and the first thing we learned is that it's better to get where you're going (the next city) as soon as possible so you can relax before you have to do your thing. The first person to bail out of Cleveland was Anthony, who is apparently in a Canadian Casino, sleeping off a hangover and counting the money he won at the tables last night. Opie, Ben, Club Soda Kenny, and myself went next. After our trip to the Hall of Fame, we checked out, hopped into our rental cars, and began the three hour drive to Buffalo.

We ditched Erik (Sexbagel) in Cleveland. He's going to have to find his own way to Buffalo. Fuck him. He's new.

Next, I have got to tell you about the newest member of the Opie and Anthony crew, a fella by the name of ClubsSoda Kenny: He's one of Andrew 'Dice' Clay's former henchmen/road managers/handlers...but he's over here now. Kenny is like the big retarded brother you wish you always had. You want him to skip like a little girl through the Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame? Fine, he'll do it. You want him to horrify a few gals from the Czech Republic who are quietliy taking photos of themslves outside the Hall of Fame? Yeah, he'll do that too. He also has no problem screaming "NICE!" in a room full of unsuspecting midwesterners when watching video of a Rodney King-style police beatdown at the Hall Of Fame. You want him to get on the phone with Eddie Trunk while he's doing his Saturday Night Rocks and torment him for fifteen minutes? He's up for it.

We putzed around the main drag in downtown Buffalo last night to check out the vibe, and we learned that we probably should have done the gig at Sphere LAST night instead of today. We ate at this nice little restaurant where we we could sit by the window and watch the folks as they parade up and down the streets, or get into fights with one another (no bullshit - a brawl broke out right outside the window of the restaurant). Holy crap, there were a lot of pretty girls walking around the city last nights. Well, I should clarify that actually. For every ONE gorgeous girl, there's two who look like they're surviving on generous amounts of chicken wings and peppermint schnapps. Nothing like watching a 'bridal party gone wild' acost a Buffalo police officer on her way into a club. Fat chicks in party hats.... oofah.

We checked out a few of the clubs, including a bunch that we visited on our last trip to Buffalo... which as some of you know, was a real hoot. Ben, myself, and one of the girls from XM went to some obscure club out in the 'burbs which LOOKED cool, but refused to let 'Hurricane Ben' in with the baseball cap he was wearing. 'Hurricane Ben' is the moniker he's earned himself as a direct result of him messing up his now-fairly-long hairk when he gets excited. It looks all wind-blown and disheveled; like he was caught in a hurricane. We wound up having a few drinks at this other little college bar, and then calling it a night. Time to get some rest and get ready for a lovely time at Sphere Entertainment Complex, which if you don't already know is on Main Street in Buffalo. We'll be there at 5:00, so drag your ass in there, and show us some boobage.

Dank yoo.