13 QUESTIONS WITH ACEY SLADE
We were approached with the offer to interview ACEY SLADE a few months ago, so as you
could imagine, our immediate response was...
"WHO?!?!?!"
A few seconds later, it occurred to us who he is. Acey used to play guitar in DOPE (just check out
our interview with Edsel Dope to see how fond he is of
Acey), and then he moved on to MURDERDOLLS. Now he's fronting another band, TRASH LIGHT VISION while
Murderdolls is on hold (Joey Jordison is fulfilling his commitments with SLIPKNOT), so in an effort to
promote that band, he subjected himself to our dopey shit. Here's what it looked like...
Steve C: You were in
DOPE for a while. You jumped
ship to
MURDERDOLLS. You just got off the road with
AMEN, and now you're
fronting
TRASH LIGHT VISION. Is this all in the pursuit of the almighty fame and fortune,
or do you just have THAT many things to prove musically?
Acey Slade: ha,ha...well. No. I have turned down a few
lurcritive 'jobs' after the dolls went on hold, but I am of the belife that the only way you will be
happy is by doing what you love. I haven't made any money in this business so far so why spoil it
now...ha,ha..If you notice, all the bands I have played with have been somewhat theatrical and tear
it up live. So I won't take just 'any gig'. I just love playing live. My main focus is Trash Light Vision.
I'll stay in the Trash Can untill the Murderdolls get reacivated. No more whorein'
(no more
whorein'? Note the time and date, kids. We'll come back to this one in a few months)
Steve C: Describe, if you would, what your garden variety Acey
Slade groupie looks like.
Acey Slade: Well... I don't have a type. I think any chick that
will bring me a pound of coffee and a KISS CD will do.
(dude, set your standards higher...
oh wait, I get it...aim low...better results. Gotcha)
Steve C: You've toured internationally and been subject to a
number of cultrures. What country (or what city and state in which country) serves up the best
cuisine you have ever tasted?
Acey Slade: Easy. Japan, Kobie Steak (don't know if I spelled
that right..). I don't normaly eat much red meat, but christ...this is like butter...nothin' is better than
a massaged quadrapligic milk fed japaness cow.
(you didn't... we think you mean Kobe
Beef...and it's 'japanESE...but we know what you meant... 'twas a typo).
Steve C: OK, now which food has you strapped to the toilet,
holding on for dear life an hour after you eat it?
Acey Slade: I just tryed this diet with a buddy of mine who is
trying to loose weight. It's basicly oatmeal and peanutbutter and not much else. I woke up so fuckin'
sick after a few days. The point to the story is that 6' 150 lbs guys should NOT diet.
Steve C: Hypothetical Situation: You're
vacationing on a cruise ship in the North Atlantic, when all of a sudden you realize that Edsel Dope
and Tripp Eisen are on the same boat with you. Just as you're about to approach them both
(seperately) to work out whatever has gone awry in your relationships, the boat slams right into an
iceberg, and begins to quickly dip into the icy waters. You see TWO life preservers on a rack
nearby. Obviously one is for yourself. In this life-or-death situation, who gets the vest and who is
going into the drink?
Acey Slade: Neither. I would make sure that I got both. If
one was fucked there is no way I would want to spend eternitiy in Davey Jones locker with both of
them...ha,ha...
(wow... so little love going around in the Acey/Edsel/Tripp circle...atta boy,
look out for numero uno)
Steve C: What's in your fridge right now at this very moment?
Acey Slade: 2 bottles of water and 1 box of Pepridge Farm
cookies. That's it.
Back off
man, those are MY Milanos!
Steve C: Let's say I'm wandering through your
apartment/house/condo/etc, and I'm scrounging around for smut. I happen upon a big box o' adult
videos in your closet in an old shoebox. What titles am I going to find?
Acey Slade: Hey I'm not THAT old.
All my porn
is DVD not video. Dude, have you seen the ones where you can control the camera
angle? Fuck....that's bad ass.
(Oh I HAVE, my friend... I HAVE...)
Steve C: Hypothetical Situation #2: You get a
frantic phone call from DocMcGee's office one morning. It just so happens that Tommy Thayer,
Bruce Kulick, and Ace Frehley were all on a fishing trip together in the North Atlantic, and were lost
at sea, leaving KISS without a guitar player. The band doesn't want to cancel their tour, so they
need to fill those silver shoes..and you're more than capable of handling a few Kiss songs. You'll be
paid 10,000 dollars a week for the next six months to finish the tour, but you'll have to wear the
patented 'Spaceman' outfit. Do you take the gig, or tell them to go screw?
Acey Slade: $10,000 a week? Remember all that shit I said
about not being in this for the money. I lied..ha,ha..
Steve C: Trash Light Vision offers MP3 downloads on the band's
official website. As someone who makes his living making music, does downloading MP3s really
help a band sell records?
Acey Slade: Well for me, right now, I don't have a label. I'm
doing everything myself. Making our own patches, CD's, Armbands, soon, T-shirts. I mean litterly I
have a silkscrean and everything...but I think that it helps initaly. I think people want their moneys
worth. A week ago I saw the
new EIGHTEEN VISIONS
CD. It came with a DVD and kick ass packing and was 8.99. What a no-brainer. I bought it
immieately. That's why my downloads are free right now. When I have kick ass packaging and a
DVD, then I'll charge. For now I just want to have people sing along at shows.
(See? That's
how a band makes cash with the CD sales...make it pretty and put in some extra shit...)
Steve C: All bands make T-shirts, some bands make action
figures, KISS makes coffins (and everything else under the sun). What piece of Acey Slade
merchandise would YOU like to see on the market?
Acey Slade: A acey slade house so I would have some place
to live..
(Fuck, man...this guy really sounds flat-ass broke. So much for rock stardom)
what? My
zipper is undone? Oh shit, you made me look...
Steve C: On your band's
message board, you discuss a time
when a female fan generously allowed you to crash at her house for the night. During the night, she
showed you her pet rabbits, frozen dead pet hamster, and other assorted weirdness. How often are
you hitting up fans for a place to sleep for the night, and have you encountered anyone stranger
than her in your travels?
Acey Slade: We were stuck for a place to crash and this chick
offered so....yea. I'm not above that. To answer your question No. That was the weirdest night in
my life. I wondered if I had been sliped acid or something.
Steve C: I'm thinking about having myself a sandwich. Could you
describe for me the perfect sandwich?
Acey Slade: I saw a cool one on one of my
porn
DVD's. If you could make THAT you would be my hero. Just for one day.
(OK, I'll
get on it. Where's my pimp? Anyone seen a guy named Robification anywhere?!?)
WOW, my
pits really DO stink...I guess I should shower more than once a week.
Steve C: Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you're in a
combat unit in Iraq and some militant fires an Rocket Propelled Grenade right at your chest. You
move out of the way, but your arm is taken out completely...making it impossible for you to ever
play guitar again. How is Acey Slade going to pay the cable bill now that he can't make sweet sweet
music anymore?
Acey Slade: That's easy. I would be come the GUITARIST for
Def Lepard. Yep. Buyin' real estate in HELLLL by the mile.
That was a blast! I hope your readers have a sence of humor..
Rock Like fuck,
acey
See? Now there's a guy with a senSe of humor about what he does for a living. Not like
some of the other whack jobs we hit up for interviews and then get all friggin' offended when they
see the questions.
Check out TRASH LIGHT VISION online and download some MP3s at TrashLightVision.com
And while you're at it, pay a visit to the home of Acey's OTHER band, Murderdolls.
umm...that's it. Rock like fuck, I suppose.
