INTERVIEW WITH ED FROM ASHES TO ASHES

Who the hell is ASHES to ASHES?? Yeah, don't act like you weren't just thinking that. They're from Pittsburgh, and they've been around for 10 years (but you would have found that out in the first line of the interview anyway, so I should stop typing right now). We threw a bunch of questions at Ed Beeler, the bass player...and THIS is what he fired back at us... Oh yeah, and they wrote a song called 'Eat Me, I'm a Hoagie'. Any band that writes songs about a sandwich can't be all that bad...

Steve C: OK, who the hell are you guys and why should we care?

Ed Beeler: ASHES TO ASHES, bunch of creeps, from Pittsburgh, the war started in 1994 and continues today.

Steve C: Like a lot of bands with a more 80's, pop-rock sound, Ashes to Ashes opted to take a record deal in Europe. How long did you fight the US music business machine before giving in and heading across the pond?

Ed Beeler: As soon as they wrote a check, really. We had a showcase a SIR Studios in NYC with a music industry boner named Dave Novik, who apparently slept with Christina Aguilera or some fuckin’ shit like that.. The fine upstanding entertainment attorney who was in our pockets at the time then came up with a contact from Europe who was interested in putting out some music over yonder. It was something to do, like pissing on an electric fence, or sticking your hand in an operating garbage disposal. It was really some cash, and a chance for good exposure. Doing the interviews in other countries was really wacky though, lots of people who spoke very little English, some even spoke less than Rich Vos… We did make a decent lot of fans across the globe as they say. And I don’t even own a globe. There are lot of Ashes To Ashes fans in Sweden, England, Italy, Holland, those types of countries. We had a huge 2-page spread in a magazine from the UK. And of course, we’re huge in Japan. I personally don’t see all the ‘80’s thing being a problem. I thought a lot the music from the ‘90’s sucked, and won’t be remembered long, unlike the music of the ‘80’s. I suppose you’ll have NIRVANA remembered from the ‘90’s and GODSMACK from the 2000’s, or the “00’s” – there are probably more that will be remembered from the last great music decade, the 1980’s. We’ll talk about that in 20 years, see what’s what.

Steve C: The music business as it has been known for decades is fairly broken. Albums don't sell as much as singles. Peer-to-Peer programs forced a lot of bands off the road and out of business. Record labels folded, consolidated, or otherwise bit the dust. Describe how YOU would repair the music business based on what you have experienced with your own band?

Ed Beeler: I would immediately sign Ashes To Ashes to a $5783000000 recording contract and let it ride from there. My opinions have changed with the advent of satellite radio. I don’t think there’s anything to help commercial radio right now, it just blows. I say good, that a lot of bands were forced off the “road” – most of them blew fucking ass anyway. It also leveled the playing field. The internet has done that. Hey, we’ve played in New York like 3 times total, and here I am doing an interview with FoundryMusic.com, so that is certainly an event that wouldn’t have happened if things were still done the old way. You and I both know that everyone in the record industry is full of shit. It was about time things got shaken up and aren’t just done the same old way anymore. Unfortunately, you and I also know, there are no “career building” bands or labels that do so anymore. You’ll never again have JOURNEY or STYX or THE EAGLES or MOTLEY CRUE or KISS. Some may say that’s great, especially if you don’t like that band selection, but if I want a music career, I’d like it last longer than 3 years. You’re almost irrelevant a few years after your big 2-week hit. Examples? OLEANDER, DRIVIN N' CRYIN', MITCH MALLOY, VIXEN, MEAT PUPPETS, even SMASHING PUMPKINS and GOOD CHARLOTTE, soon, they’ll be trivia questions, y’know? It just can’t be fixed. Too many record execs are worried about their jobs to take any risks. You have to sign that winner or you’re fucked. There are a lot of great bands that slip through the cracks. Take a band like SPRUNG MONKEY or the great band CALIFORNIA. Bad name, good band. You ever heard of them, as an average music consumer? Don’t think so. I would look for these small bands with talent, not the formula, and I’d actually develop them, somehow. I’d avoid these large outdoor shows like Ozzfest. It creates a cookie cutter / flavor of the week mentality, and it also creates miscreant teenagers! I think it’s all fucked, it can’t be fixed. Where’s that asteroid that’s coming our way?


Andy and Ed with some very sound advice.

Steve C: When you're a kid, you dream of being a rock star, and you think it's all pussy, beer, and arenas. If you're one of the handful of guys who actually decides to make a go of it, you can quickly come to the conclusion that being a rocker isn't as glamorous as you thought...and some guys eventually come to the conclusion that 'being broke really sucks'...and wind up getting day jobs. What stage of the process do you think the guys in Ashes to Ashes are at?

Ed Beeler: We’ve never followed any real formula in the music business. From the beginning, we always agreed that we’d play anywhere anytime, for little money, but we were not going to be those assholes that drive around the country and boat around the world, starving, stinking up a van, breaking down on the road, being complete losers and bums. I’ve never wanted to be broke, and won’t let myself be. That’s no way to run a railroad. Also, you can’t get anywhere without money, so why kill yourself by not having any? Problem is, most musicians are not that smart. I like comfort, not chaos. We’ve had our share, traveled in shitty conditions, but we thought that wasn’t the smartest way to keep it together. We’ve been to many states and cities to play, we’ve done more than many bands will ever accomplish, and we haven’t had to starve and eat out of dumpsters and blow some guy at the gas station for a tank of fuel for the beat up band van. That’s fuckin’ stupid, but people have done it. It’s simply reality, it’s work, there’s nothing glamorous about it, and it gets old at times like anything. Like you Steve, I’ve had the chance to interview artists in my travels, writing for magazines and such. One artist once told me how it sucks so bad, being cramped in a bus with 10 assholes, cold showers, bad food, border crossings, being sick and not being home, etc. I thought, shit, is it really that bad? Is this any way to live? There is nothing like playing in front of 10,000 people who actually like what you’re doing, there is little that can top that as far as a level of excitement. But if you have to trade in having a clean toilet at least twice a week for that, I’ll have sit down and think it over. You have to balance whatever you do. It’s no secret that a lot of “rock stars” would rather be home, and your average office worker would like to be a rock star, at least for a day. But a lot of these creeps are trapped and can’t get home, ever. (That's one of the more insightful answers to that question I have ever heard, and 'trapped' is a VERY good way to put it. Hell, who wants to go back to school after touring the world as a rock drummer for ten years?)

Steve C: Hypothetical Situation: You guys are walking through an industrial area in Pittsburgh, scoping out a location to shoot your video. Through no fault of your own, your other two bandmates are struck down swiftly and violently by a set of rotating knives and a large cumbersome 15 ton piece of metal that dropped from a faulty cable. This leaves you in a fairly awkward position, considering you have already taken advance money from the label. Do you press on and find other mates, or return the advance money?

Ed Beeler: Impossible. There is no place in Pittsburgh that anyone would want to shoot a video. I keep the money and hire someone to find the bandmates.

Steve C: We're putting together a fall package tour that will be headlined by the GOO GOO DOLLS. Ashes to Ashes is being considered for one of the four remaining slots on the tour. Which bands would you MOST like to see join you on that tour. Ed Beeler: CHEAP TRICK (so we can smoke dope, although I don’t smoke anymore), LITA FORD (so I can fuck her), VIXEN (so I can fuck them), L7 (so they can fuck me). (I'm wondering if Ed has seen any of the members of Vixen or Lita Ford lately...maybe he's into the MILF thing)

Steve C: OK, which bands would you LEAST like to join you on that tour? (everyone's got a 'least favorite'...no wimping out)

Ed Beeler: I hate everyone. We had a guitar player in our band for a while after we booted the fag-o keyboard guy that we never needed. He was dead weight, a lazy fucker. Anyway, I was friends with this guitarist since I was like 15. He had just quit his band, but had stuck his head up Zakk Wylde’s ass, his hero. He’s the guy who e-mailed Zakk and got the job as his guitarist. Good for him. Different from the story he tells, about how he quit all his Pittsburgh bands, we actually kicked him out. Yeah, you’re saying sour grapes, whatever, I could give a shit. Thing is, we don’t do those kind of people in our band. You’re either here for us all the time and completely in this project, or not at all. I don’t care if you do play with OZZY or Godsmack as your second job, this is your first job, if you don’t believe in our stuff %100 and take us along with you, fuck off. Anyway, I digress!! I went to the bar to get us some beers, my friend, Zakk Wylde, and myself. I got them back to the table, and Zakk went back to get his own, having the suspicion that I had poisoned it or some shit, I don’t know. Very strange though. I could understand this with someone I didn’t know, and granted he didn’t know me, but I knew his new buddy, my friend of 16 FUCKING YEARS! If that’s not proof enough I didn’t spit in his beer, I don’t know what is. This guy was one of my idols, and suddenly I can’t get him a beer. I guess a lot of mid-profile people are paranoid. So, I guess I wouldn’t have anyone like that on the bill, anyone that acts freaky. I really can’t come up with anyone else, no one is really on our level. We are America’s Next Great Rock Band, and they should all be opening for us, all the time. Fuck ‘em all. None of them will ever make the great music we do. (Wow. The one thing I took away from that was the term 'mid profile'...too funny. That's a shitty situation to be in though.)

Steve C: I'm sending in one of our spies to ransack your porn collection. What kind of videos am I going to find? Which tape(s) are going to be sporting the most greasy fingerprints?

Ed Beeler: I have Direct TV, so I guess they’re all available PPV, but I haven’t tried it. I have some old shit I stole from my dad’s collection of a few tapes he got at a flea market, something with John Holmes called Little French Maid – huge hog on that guy, and the chick in it is really hot, not sure who it is. I’m sure you know (I certainly do. Her name ...at least then...was Connie Peters). There’s actually like a few movies on a homemade tape, there’s one with Ron Jeremy called Expose Me Now – another huge hog! Maybe Andy [Bell, Guitars and Vocals] should tell his story about the parties we had where our “guests” stole a tape his parents had rented from the local video story, and his efforts to replace it without them or the store knowing.

Steve C: Describe, in detail please... the perfect sandwich.

Ed Beeler: I’ll take a big old cheeseburger any day. I’m not a homer, but Pittsburgh is famous for this one joint that serves you different sandwiches on Italian bread with fries and cole slaw on it. That’s pretty good. I’m a fan of filet mignon actually. I like pizza. (as previously stated, Ashes To Ashes also wrote a track called 'Eat Me, I'm a Hoagie' ...CLICK HERE TO LISTEN)


Ed with Steve Whiteman of Funny Money... formerly of KIX.

Steve C: I'm naming a cocktail after you, sir. A cocktail that bar patrons will marvel at for years to come. What's in it?

Ed Beeler: Beer. Sorry, boring answer. That’s my story, and I’m sticking it up your ass. (Nice try to come off like a tough guy after your limp answer. Beer. Woo-F-ing-Hoo.)

Steve C: I'm looking on your official website at a mugshot of Ed. ... What happened?

Ed Beeler: We actually all had them. My cousin worked at Western State Max Security Penitentiary here in Pittsburgh. He’s actually dead now, he was only like 47 or something. He was often critical of the way Andy sang on our earlier CDs. See what you get when you shit on Ashes To Ashes? Dead, fucker! Anyway, the prison show… We got paid big money from the state of PA to play there. Part of the program they offer, entertainment for killers and drug dealers and pimps. Whatever. We weren’t too smart then, really. Long hair, tight pants, in a prison. The guards gave us specific instructions not to give the animals inside anything. You can make a shank out of a drum stick. Guitar picks could be traded, people could get killed. The prison crew did the PA and sound and stuff. They helped us set up. We played a lot of originals, that was all we had. Best we could do. The keyboard player couldn’t even get in to play with us, because he had a prior! They really converged on the stage when we were finished, it was a bit scary, and very black… Anyway, we got mugshots taken as souvenirs on the way out. There are so many doors to go through to get in and out of a prison. Fuck that. And the guards don’t have weapons. (Jesus... make a shank out of a drumstick? That actually sounds reasonable. It IS a pointy stick after all)

Steve C: Hypothetical Situation #2: an eccentric middle-eastern man approaches you one night after a gig, and offers you a five million-dollar contract for a new record and a tour. The only catch is that he's going to require you all to star in an independent film he's making titled "My drummer got kicked in the balls by a donkey, and now his eyes are crossed". Sure, it's a long title, but he's the one with the money...so he's calling the shots. Do you offer up your skin basher for a nut-bashing, or tell the guy to piss off?

Ed Beeler: I don’t trust middle eastern men, fucking terrorists. I’m sure our drummer Dave would be happy to go for it, as long as he got a better percentage for the nut-kicking thing. Can he wear a cup? Is this a standard interview question, or is it in the Steve C archives to whip out now and again? (No, I made this one just for you guys...and no, he can't wear a cup. Suck it up, fella. It's Five Million Dollars!)

Steve C: You're opening up for BRET MICHAELS. Would you mind snapping us a shot of his wig? or his head sans-wig? we'd even settle for a shot of Bret taping on his wig... or maybe chasing his wig around the room...

Ed Beeler: It’s a really good venue we’re playing, the Pepsi Road House. We’ve done a lot of gigs there, great place. Bret Michaels has a wig? Hmm. Hadn’t heard. I always see him with that hat on. Does he ever take it off? He was great of that country version of American Idol, I think it was “Nashville Star”. He is very optimistic, and positive. “Ya gotta keep on keepin on, do whatcha gotta do, keep your head up, you’re the real deal man, I gotta give it to ya, ya got that star quality, the voice is amazing, can’t buy what you’re sellin’, it’s all about the groove man, about the songs, the star, the action and the heart… …. This is called Somethin’ to Believe In/Fallen Angel/Every Rose Has it’s Thorn/Ride The Wind.”

Steve C: You would think that if you're a band, you would want to draw people in with a few samples of what your band sounds like...how come you don't have any sound samples on your website?

Ed Beeler: They’re on there, 10 free whole songs at least, maybe more. Were you looking at eatabullet.com or some other site? Clean your glasses, or really look around the site before asking! Car crash for Steve. (He's right...and I suck. The Song Samples are on THIS PAGE..scroll, bitches)

Steve C: What does the garden variety ATA groupie look like? Do bands even have groupies anymore?

Ed Beeler: There are all kinds, still, yes, they’re out there. Fat, skinny, dumb, smart, gay, ugly, hot, handicapped, afflicted, anorexic, bulimic, eye patches, artificial limbs. The usual stuff. We actually had 2 small people as fans. We have some crazy fans from West Virginia. One still insists to this day that she and Andy had phone sex, which he denies… You’d have to see her, then you’d know why he’d deny it! (Hahaha...someone did a fatty...)


Ed wearing a snazzy HUSTLER shirt.

Steve C: Obviously, the goal of any band is to achieve some world-wide notoriety and make a bloody fortune playing your own music. If that DOESN'T happen, and you guys are relegated to playing smaller venues for the rest of your careers, will you be crushed, or is that OK with you guys?

Ed Beeler: Did you see that fucking bullshit show, INXS Rockstar? What a bunch of horseshit! That’s what I’m talking about. I’ve mentioned it in the whole interview here. These assholes, the other guys in INXS, that guys no one would know if they hit them with their SUV, are on Fox saying shit like “We always knew we’d make it, it wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.” – What kind of bullshit is that. Every musician has said that at one time or another, and the other 99% of them are back working at Subway making sandwiches. That show is full of bullshit cliches. I think the drummer or some other asshole that you wouldn’t know said this – “Being a rock star is the greatest thing ever, being bigger than life…” Ok. I bet this fuckface thought it was really great when he found out the singer of his band just hung himself with a belt while he was jerking off. That’s just bigger than life. Some selfish prick just couldn’t get off enough, he had to hang himself with hand cream dripping from his lifeless fingers. Was rockstardom so great when you were sitting there, dreams crushed, Mr. Noboby INXS drummer guy? These fucking guys are simply taking money from television, that’s it. Who gives a shit about INXS anymore anyway? Like it will be the same band, with some new nobody singing? I don’t get it. I’d surely take the money though.

Now, let me whip out some cliches. I’ll take whatever life gives us. You can make all the music you want, and hope it is remembered sometime. Does Beethoven give a shit rotting in his grave? Does he care that some half ass symphony in Cincinnati is fucking up his 5th? I’ve actually always said that if we haven’t quit by now, what’s the point of quitting? The business and the people haven’t killed us by now, why should we fold? We’ve made great music for 10 years now, and we still play, we have a viable entity, we have a fan base, we make money. What else can you ask for? I’d like several million dollars, wouldn’t we all. I’m busy trying to make that all the time, with the band, and in the rest of my life. It’s all about the money for most people. I don’t think any fan can really know what the songwriter is saying, no matter how hard they try. It’s that frustrated musician syndrome. We’ll all be dead before we know it, so what the fuck is the difference. That’s my positive statement for the day.

Thanks Steve! Check us out at www.ataboy.com. This is America’s Next Great Rock Band…

There you go, kids...an interview with a member of a working rock band, ten years and seven CDs in, who figured out a way to make money doing what he loves doing. Nifty, eh?

Check out the official ASHES TO ASHES WEBSITE - ataboy.com

LISTEN TO SOUND SAMPLES ONLINE HERE (Scroll, sucker).