INTERVIEW WITH DAN HAWKINS OF THE DARKNESS

When we were asked to do an interview with The DARKNESS, we jumped at the chance. How could we not, for crying out loud? Any band whose lead vocalist wears a skin-tight body suit, frilly sleeves, and rides a fake tiger through the air at his shows has got to have something decent to say. When I was given our interview call times, I was also told that the band likes to torment interviewers who don't know shit about the band. So, I gave the job of calling up Dan Hawkins to our own Rob, who knows DICK about The Darkness. Fun, right? Yeah, I thought so too. I armed him with a handful of solid, educated questions, and a whole lotta dumb ones. This is how it went down...

Steve C: You guys blazed onto the scene with Permission To Land, with a very retro-glam look and ten funny songs that sounded like you were paying tribute to QUEEN. Now that you've experienced success, are you guys worried about the novelty wearing off?

Dan Hawkins: I don’t really get that when I listen to it. I’d say it’d be more like AC/DC, but then again, I’m the guitarist. ::laughs:: Justin and I were brought up on Queen, we were quite influenced, but to say that we’re a tribute to Queen is missing the point. (Well, not to get bogged down in the minutia, but you guys DO wear the ruffled clothes, spandex jumpsuits, and have a singer who sings with a mean falsetto. That's got QUEEN written all over it)

Steve C: In keeping with your similarities to QUEEN, you guys decided to have Roy Thomas Baker produce One Way Ticket...Did he work to make you sound MORE or less like your idols? Were there any knock-down, screaming, beatings in the studio between producer and band?

Dan Hawkins: ::Laughs:: Not at all. We were trying to, as we did with the first album, make a DARKNESS record, but the reason we used Roy was that we got along really well with him. We were at the same party in L.A. and we were under a lot of pressure to make the second album. The most important thing was that we got along well with the producer, that it was going to be an enjoyable process. We met a few producers on the run-up, but we didn’t really click, and we actually said, “We just want to write some songs and then find out who the right person to produce it would be.” So all the calls stopped going out to these producers. And Roy just turned up and we got along so well that we used him. I think the only thing you can really sort of compare to Queen on this record is the vocals, which is something we’ve always liked anyway.

Steve C: Roy Thomas Baker spent two years working on Chinese Democracy with Axl Rose... now, even though he doesn't share his war stories ... Did it sound like he had a good time? miserable time? just glad to get out of there time? Working that long with no result can really mess up your reputation.

Dan Hawkins: I think he had a great time. I think he got along really well with Axl. Got a lot of respect for him. I think in a really difficult situation, he just did his best, but it certainly wasn’t an absolute nightmare, that’s what I get from him. I personally didn’t want to dig too deep on that myself, out of respect. I think probably it’ll be a bit of a misinterpretation when you hear about how long it took. It doesn’t mean that just because they took that amount of time on it, they didn’t enjoy the process. (Quite true, but still.... TWO YEARS is a long time for just one producer to work on a record)


Spiffy Thin Lizzy shirt you got there, Dan...

Steve C: Speaking of fighting, there are two brothers in The Darkness (That would be Dan and his brother, frontman Justin Hawkins). Brothers fight. Always. In your lives, and in your career together, what's the worst fight you guys have ever witnessed/participated in?

Dan Hawkins: Not always. ::laughs:: I think we’re the exception to that. If anything, we need to fight more, maybe communicate a bit more, ::laughs:: but we’re definitely both conflict-shy people, with each other, anyway. So it’s never come to blows. The last time we had a fight was when I was 15 and he hit me on the head with a paintbrush. And that was it, that was the last time we had an argument. I know it sounds pretty unbelievable, according to a lot of people that have brothers, but it’s the way it is.

Steve C: "Dinner Lady Arms" is a term that refers to the gelatinous flab under a school lunch lady's arms...yet the song is about enduring relationships. Are you worried about a backlash from some of your chubbier female fans? Can you afford to lose the chubby female demographic? They're awfully loyal, you know...

Dan Hawkins: ::Laughs:: Well, like the lunch ladies demonstrating it at gigs and stuff like that. No, it’s an affectionate thing. We’re protected by the fact that if you actually listen to the lyrics, it’s quite an endearing song. So people don’t have to get up-in-arms about it, quite literally. ::laughs:: We just hope that they’ll buy the album and read the lyrics, because it’s not derogatory at all. That would be funny, though; I wonder if there’s an association of lunch ladies or something. (There IS a lunch lady association, sir...and we shall be notifying them of your volatile song immediately. Right after this meatball sandwich.)

Steve C: You got rid of your bassist Frankie because he stopped trusting you guys with the money once you started making it. Were you really making THAT much off Permission To Land? You'd think that after struggling for so long, he'd have the sense to stay along for the ride longer than just one record?

Dan Hawkins: You’re words, not mine. It happened quite a long time ago for us, like 6 months, and months is a long time for us. So it’s kind of weird to talk about it right now. But, yeah, I’m with you exactly 100% on that. When you’ve been on the bag of the tour bus for two or three years with nothing and then you’re given a load of stuff, it does change people, you know? I’m still trying to work out why as well. The second that you’re influenced by money is when you should leave the band, so maybe it worked out for the best. (For the record, that information about Frankie came out of a SPIN magazine interview with Justin Hawkins that accompanied our interview instructions... so that is why we phrased the question like that)


Dude, get another shirt, wouldya?

Steve C: Hypothetical Situation: For your third disc, you're approached by [producer for AC/DC, DEF LEPPARD, and SHANIA TWAIN] Mutt Lange, who would LOVE to produce it. He doesn't want a cut of the publishing, and he'll give you guys complete autonomy over songwriting. However, you must agree to record a duet with his wife SHANIA TWAIN, one version of which would appear on your third disc, and a country crossover on her new disc. Do you accept, or tell Mutt to hit the road?

Dan Hawkins: Oh, I’d do that anyway! I’d do that for free! ::laughs:: So, yeah, but we probably wouldn’t’ do the album with him. Maybe if our paths had crossed 15 years ago, then maybe. He’s produced some fucking amazing albums, just not in the last 10 years. (Now that's not very nice; especially not to the millions who have bought records with his name on them in the past ten years)

Steve C: You have stated that Atlantic fucked up the U.S. release of Permission To Land by releasing your strongest song on the disc first...if you have everything your way, what order will the singles be released on this disc?

Dan Hawkins: It’d be different with this album, because there are, without trying to kiss my ass too much, a [large] choice of singles. It’s going to be really tough. I think the next song we want to put out is “Is It Just Me.” And then after that, we’re just gonna decide last minute and do a gut instinct thing. We’re always trying to work on the gut thing, without overanalyzing. Things should be obvious. And when they’re not obvious, you leave it right ‘til the last minute and then use your collective gut feeling. I’m not sure we want to release a ballad. The ballad could be a single, but I’m not sure we want to do that ‘cause it’s just not a lot of fun. Maybe we’ll do “Girlfriend” or something ridiculous.

Steve C: The singing on a Darkness song is not the easiest feat, so what happens in say... ten years... when it's not so easy to sing that high? Squeezing your nuts only goes so far, you know...

Dan Hawkins: We would do what a lot of other bands do, which is tune their guitars down so they don’t have to sing so high. ::laughs:: That’s how a lot of bands do it now, if you’re ever flicking through the TV channels and you’ll see an old band from yesteryear, and now they’re touring, and they compare it to the video, like a video from ’68 or whatever and it’s in a lower key now, that’s why. Believe it or not, Justin finds it easier to sing really really high than the mid-range stuff, that stuff really kills him. I don’t know, we’ll see, I think we’re all genuine enough to say that if we felt we were getting a bit shitty, we’d stop. We’ve got the balls to do that, we’re not in the band for the money thing. As soon as we get to be shitty, I’ll just go fishing. (I call "liar liar pants on fire" for the 'not in the band for the money' comment)


Dan, there's someone from the played-out-Thin-Lizzy-Shirt Organization here to see you.

Steve C: I'm going to rifle through your personal porno collection in five minutes... what am I going to find? ... and what are you going to hide from me?

Dan Hawkins: I don’t have any porno videos at all, or DVDs, but there are a couple of magazines that my girlfriend bought me for when I was in studio. I’m not actually into all that, there’s too much variety on the hotel video channels! ::laughs:: I’m not saying that I’m not particularly sexual, it’s just not really my bag, you know? That’s not necessarily true for the rest of the members of the band, though.

Steve C: We're going to lock you in a room with no windows with [U2 Frontman] Bono and an aluminum bat for ten minutes

Dan Hawkins: ::laughs::

Steve C: It's multi-generational rock star fight club. Who's walking out with the least damage?

Dan Hawkins: Well, I mean, whoever is the youngest, really. He won’t take me alive, let’s put it that way. ::laughs:: (For the record, Justin Hawkins is pissed that Bono replaced his vocals on the 2004 BAND AID remake of "Do You Know it's Christmas' single with his own voice)

Steve C: Of all the parts of the world you have toured, which city in which country has the most amazing food?

Dan Hawkins:Oh, fucking hell! Paris is obviously awesome, but then again, I don’t eat meat so French food, the cuisine isn’t the best for me. Probably Milan, I’m a big pasta fan. But I might just be saying that because we were there last week. Let me think… What’s that stuff, that chowder that they have in New Orleans…

Steve C: Gumbo?

Dan Hawkins:Gumbo! I got some of that made without the bacon in it, and that was good. I would still come back to Milan. We haven’t had a chance to tour India yet, and the second we do this’ll change, because Indian is my favorite food.

Steve C: OK, now which food in which city turns your virgin hiney into a liquidy butt-rocket?

Dan Hawkins:Well, literally. I’ll tell you one thing, and I’m not trying to dig at all of America, but I mean, geez, the portions you get here! This whole obesity thing, that’s supposed to be a real problem here in America. It has a lot to do with how much you get on your plate, there’s no need to have that much cheese in a sandwich.

Steve C: Yeah, we are some fat bastards.

Dan Hawkins:No, the thing is, it’s not actually your fault. Whenever I come to America, we spent 2 months mixing the record in L.A., I found I put on about 5 kilos. Especially if you’re not from a well off family, if someone puts a lot of food in front of you, instinct is to try and eat as much of it as you can. So, don’t put so much on the plate, so I’d say America, really. And not because I don’t like it or the food is bad, just because I’ll eat too much.

(Badass. Guy gave some good answers and had a good time...OR, at least he did a great job at faking it)

Check out the DARKNESS online at TheDarknessRock.com


The Darkness will also be touring arenas in the U.S. in 2006, so make sure you stay tuned for dates

One Way Ticket is available now.

Thanks to:
Rob A. from Paragon Music Magazine for taking the questions and spending time working the phone.
Crystal Stephens for setting this mess up.
Dan Hawkins for being such a cool lim--- err, fella.