13 QUESTIONS with EVAN SEINFELD of BIOHAZARD

Damn. This could be the most volatile interview we've ever had on this site (Yeah, I know...we haven't done that many...but most have gone pretty smoothly). Whether you're a fanatical BIOHAZARD fan, or if you only know Evan Seinfeld from as Jaz Hoyt from the HBO series, 'OZ', or if you only know him as porn star Tera Patrick's fiance, this is a great interview.

We read up on Evan, and checked out other interviews he's done with other websites (Most of which, quite honestly, were very tame and spent the majority of the time kissing his ass). We were even told to tread lightly with certain subjects, because Evan gets set off easily. These questions were researched, and originated from MULTIPLE sources (mostly because I knew very little about BIOHAZARD, and needed to be coached from a few die-hard fans).

With that said, I think the interview went EXTREMELY well. Evan answered everything brutally, but honestly....and that's all I asked. I don't care how many times I get told to go fuck myself, as long as the questions get answered.

Fritz, roll the ugliness...

FoundryMusicSteve: 1. During the earlier days of BIOHAZARD, you guys were writing songs with more of an Aryan tone ("Master Race", "America"), and later, wrote songs that were a little more forgiving ("Shades of Grey", "Black And White And Red All Over"). Why the change in politics? Was it a deliberate act to cater to a larger audience? And Evan, being Jewish, wasn't it weird writing songs about the "master race" and "american nazi pride"?

Evan Seinfeld: THE SONGS ON THE FIRST DEMO WERE MEANT TO SHOCK, BE VAGUE, AND GET YOUR ATTENTION. WE NEVER WERE RACIST, BUT IT WAS A GREAT ATTENTION GETTER TO USE METAPHORIC LYRICS, AND PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF, WHO DIDN’T READ ANY ON THE LYRICS, MUST FEEL STUPID RIGHT NOW AFTER REACHING SO FAR, AND COMING UP WITH NOTHING. BET YOU DON’T FEEL SO CLEVER ANYMORE. MASTER RACE IS A SONG ABOUT UNITING ALL THE UNDERGROUND KIDS, FROM PUNK, HARDCORE, METAL, RAP…STREET PEOPLE - AND RISING UP, LIKE IN ‘THE WARRIORS’. ("Underground Kids"? "Street People"? Here's a few lyrics from the song "America" from an early Biohazard demo: "Fighting for our freedom / working all in stride / we'll march across the world / with American Nazi pride" ... The word "Nazi" is actually used IN the song, and he's saying it's not Aryan? Someone wake me up when we get back from Jupiter)

FMS: 2. Evan, I know you used to deliver pizzas back in the day in Brooklyn... ever have a horny housewife looking to barter sex for a free pie and a rice ball?

ES: LENNY AND JOHN’S PIZZA REMAINS THE BUSIEST PIZZERIA IN THE UNIVERSE, SO NATURALLY, THE SHEER NUMBER OF DELIVERIES AND THE SHEER NUMBER OF HORNY WOMEN IN BROOKLYN AFFORDED ME A FEW “SPECIAL TIPS”.

FMS: 3. You guys were doing the rap/metal thing before Public Enemy and Anthrax. Are you humble enough to sit back and watch all these other bands rip off a style you created well over ten years ago and then eclipse you in popularity or does it upset you?

ES: NO ONE WAS EVER AS HARDCORE AS US. IT’S EASY TO COMMERCIALIZE ANYTHING AND MAKE IT CHEESY. RESPECT TO ANTHRAX AND P.E.

I WAS IN A BAND CALLED PUBLIC ENEMY IN 1982

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THE MONEY AND THE RECOGNITION, BUT NOT AT THE PRICE OF SELLING MY SOUL, i.e.”doing it all for the nookie”

That is fuckin weak

FMS: 4. You've been on a myriad of labels throughout your career, Maze, Roadrunner, Warner Bros, etc. Have you gotten a raw deal from all of them? What is it that these record companies don't "get”? Have you ever considered just releasing the music on your own, since I know how you feel about the record industry...

ES: FUCK THEM ALL. AND FUCK THE WHOLE MUSIC INDUSTRY. OH, AND FUCK YOU TOO. WE MAY PUT OUT THE NEXT RECORD ON OUR OWN. GREAT, THEN I GET TO BE AN INEFFECTUAL RECORD COMPANY ASSHOLE WHO SEES BANDS AS PRODUCT NUMBERS... DOUBT IT

FMS: 5. I know you're down with the West Coast Choppers and you're into cars and motorcycles. What are you riding or driving now? Are you gonna dub-out the Biohazard tour bus?

ES: JESSE IS MY HOMIE. HE BUILT ME THE BADDEST CHOPPER IN THE WORLD. I HAVE A SUBURBAN THAT IS CHOPPED AND FLAMED WITH 23’S, AND A BRAND NEW H2 THAT’S LIFTED AND SITTING ON SOME DUBS WITH 40’S. I CAN CRUSH ANY CAR ON THE ROAD.

FMS: 6. While playing Jaz Hoyt on "Oz", you spend a lot of time on camera getting naked in front of guys. In fact, we hear it's a pre-requisite for getting a role on "Oz". How comfortable does one have to be with one's sexuality in order to get bare-assed with a bunch of men for millions to see?

ES: ITS ONLY ABOUT PENIS SIZE. YOU ASKED THE QUESTION BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY CURIOUS ABOUT EITHER YOUR SEXUALITY OR WHETHER OR NOT YOU MEASURE UP. PERSONALLY, I FEEL FINE.

FMS: 7. Speaking of your bare ass, there are reports that you are going to star in some adult films with your betrothed, Tera. Are you planning on dropping trou for the camera porno-style?

ES: TERA IS MY FIANCEE. OUR PERSONAL LIFE IS PERSONAL. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE AT HER NEW SITE: WWW.OFFICIALTERAPATRICK.COM (OK...This + the answer to question 11 = Evan might be doing smut online with Tera sometime in the future

FMS: 8. In the past, you have been extremely vocal with your opinIons regarding: Sanctuary Records and their lack of support for Biohazard, Sharon Osbourne for her practices in managing Ozzfest, and Tom Morello/Serj Tankian for their political views. Are you surprised when you have a hard time getting support for Biohazard?

ES: NONE OF THE ABOVE-MENTIONED EVER DID SHIT FOR ME, UNLESS THEY NEEDED US TO GIVE THEM SOME CRED. BIOHAZARD HAS THE SUPPORT OF REAL, DIE HARD HARDCORE FANS. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. ITS REAL, AND THEREFORE EXCLUDED FROM THE FAKE PAYOLA PRACTICES OF THE BULLSHIT ROCK-N-ROLL SWINDLE!

FMS: 9. Given the state of the music business (record company consolidation, hard rock being ignored by radio and MTV, internet piracy), do you ever feel like giving up the fight and getting a 9 to 5 job?

ES: QUITTING IS NEVER IN MY EQUATION. BIOHAZARD WILL LIVE FOREVER. IN EUROPE, OUR TOURS ARE ALL COMPLETETLY SOLD OUT; ALSO JAPAN AND SOUTH AMERICA AS WELL. UNFORTUNATELY, IN MY FAVORITE COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, THE GOOD OLD US OF A, MTV AND COMMERCIAL PAY-YOUR-OWN-WAY RADIO BLIND AND FORCEFEED THE MASSES. IN EUROPE OUR ALBUMS SELL TEN TIMES WHAT THEY SELL HERE, BECAUSE THERE IS NO RADIO SYSTEM, BECAUSE OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER. AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY RELY ON RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM IN THE MEDIA AND WORD-OF-MOUTH TO FIND OUT ABOUT A BAND’S QUALITY!

FMS: 10. If there was one celebrity you could punch in the face as hard as you could without any reprocussions/punishment/lawsuit, who would it be and why?

ES: FRED DURST, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH HE SELLS MILLIONS OF RECORDS, HE REMAINS A JEALOUS HATER, SIGNING BANDS TO SHELF THEM - IN OTHER WORDS, BUYING OUT HIS COMPETITION. IM TIRED OF HIS WHINING…SO HE GETS NO PUSSY, CUZ HE IS ONE. MUST HE SING IN THAT WHINING LIKE A SPOILED 5 YEAR OLD VOICE? I’D LOVE TO SILENCE THE BASTARD ONCE AND FOR ALL.

FMS: 11. The fact that you’re involved with a lovely adult film starlet is inspirational to tattooed, grungy-looking musicians all over the planet. What advice do you have for the rest of us who are trying hook up with chicks in the adult film industry?

ES: CHICKS DIG ONE THING ABOVE ALL - CONFIDENCE. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK ADVICE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS, IT WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAPPEN FOR YOU. I GOT LUCKY. TERA SAW ME ON OZ, AND HUNTED ME DOWN. SHE IS NO LONGER WORKING IN THE HARDCORE M/F ADULT BUSINESS…JUST WORKING WITH ME. IT’S GOOD TO BE THE KING.

FMS: 12. Hypothetical situation: You’re offered a multi-million dollar deal from a major label to record a dozen songs for release internationally. The videos will hit MTV, and rock radio will be all over them. The only catch is this: None of the songs are yours. They’ve been written by a team of writers from multi-platinum-selling rock acts (Limp Bizkit, Puddle Of Mudd, Godsmack, Creed, Stone Temple Pilots). Do you take the deal, or tell the label to go screw?

ES: RECORD THE ALBUM, TAKE THE MONEY, AND IN MY FIRST INTERVIEW, EXPOSE ALL THE CONSPIRATORS…GETTING MYSELF DROPPED, TAKING THE MONEY AND RUNNING, USING IT TO FINANCE BIOHAZARD.

FMS: 13. What do you want on your Tombstone? (don’t say pepperoni, onions, peppers, or sausage)

ES: “THE ONLY LESSONS THAT YOU LEARN ARE FROM THINGS THAT YOU REGRET”

OH YEAH,. AND CHECK OUT MY NEW PROJECT. THIS IS THE NEXT SHIT TO PISS PEOPLE OFF BIG TIME.

WWW.TRIPLESICKS.COM

Now that was fun, wasn't it? Let's recap a few of the nuggets of knowledge we've gained from this interview:
1. Evidently, the terms "Nazi" and "Aryan" have nothing to do with one another.
2. Tera Patrick has evidently left the mainstream adult film world, but we're probably going to see her nailing Evan online sometime soon.
3. If Fred Durst offers you a record deal, run the other way.
Evan really sounds like he's been hardened by the music industry, and I love that he said he'd like to belt Fred Durst; that alone puts Evan on my "list of favorite people" My only regret is that I don't have pictures and/or video of Evan typing at those responses feverishly at his keyboard, because I can imagine the look on his face as he's telling me to go fuck myself IN BIG BOLD CAPTIAL LETTERS. Again, I think it went great. He answered honestly, and somewhat aggressively, and that's pretty F-ing cool.

Check out BRUTALNEWMUSIC.COM - The Official BIOHAZARD website

Evan's new band, TRIPLE SICKS

OfficialTeraPatrick.com - The Official Website of Evan's amazingly-hot, magnificent-piece-of-ass fiance, Tera Patrick