13 QUESTIONS WITH STEVIE RACHELLE OF TUFF

If you were in high school around 1991-ish, you probably remember the band TUFF. Stevie Rachelle was the pinup, pretty-boy, frontman, and for a very brief time, occupied the pages of every hard rock publication that you could think of. TUFF hit big in 1991 with the ballad "I Hate Kissing You Goodbye", and then, like so many other bands of that era, vanished into obscurity when grunge hit big. Considering that they worked for years plugging away on the streets of Hollywood, only to have an ultra-short time in the spotlight before they (and many bands like them) were obliterated by the grunge movement, it's amazing the band stuck with it and was able to release more CDs

Stevie has been occasionally been mistaken for Bret Michaels of POISON, a comparison he probably isn't too crazy about (you'll understand a little better after you read this interview). He's got a penchant for being brutally honest, and that's why we went after the guy, and asked him our standard lot of goofy-ass questions.

SteveC: According to your bio, after breaking your ass for years as an unsigned act, TUFF experienced some moderate success once the band was signed to Atlantic Records in 1990 (considering the popularity of alterna-grunge pretty much annihilated you guys every band that looked like you shortly thereafter). What goes through your mind after you break your ass for so long, only to get the rug ripped out from under you by the "next big thing"?

Stevie Rachelle: Everything is a gamble. Including life, driving to work and spending years trying to make it as an Entertainer. I relish in the fact that I am alive, have all of my limbs and in my eyes have done a lot of cool things as well. I’ve toured the states about a dozen times, been to Europe 3 times, had 3 major label deals, released nearly a dozen Indy pieces on my own label and contributed to about another 30 recordings. It kills me when I hear about guys who have sold millions, made a fortune, and played to thousands nightly – bitch, cry, moan, complain, quit and go home. Only to be given the silver spoon again! I’d like to slap, punch and spit on every single one of those fucking cocksuckers!

SC: TUFF didn't sell millions upon millions of records, and didn't collect millions upon millions of dollars in royalties .... so you're not exactly sitting on a pile of gold and living off the interest. How does Stevie Rachelle pay the rent/trailer payments these days? Plug, plug, pluggity-plug.

SR: I pay my rent the same way most people do – I work for a living. What I do is a little bit of everything, and I make the majority of my living off of my music related projects. That includes working within the Industry on many different levels.

SC: You're selling Jim Gillette's Proud To Be Loud disc on your website. Isn't Jim Gillette married to Lita Ford and living on an island? Why does he need to sell his records on your website? ...and moreover, HOW MANY of his CDs are sold weekly? (no bullshitting. We can smell a lie like a shitty diaper)

SR: Jim’s life is private and it’s for him to discuss as he wishes. He’s been one of the coolest guys I’ve met in this business. His CD is no Creed release but for RLS Records, we’re doing just fine. (Blast. More work for me, then. Personally, I'll always think of Jim Gillette as the 'Metal Method' vocal instructor guy)

SC: Who made more money off the song "Daddy's Money", you or "Stuttering" John Melendez?

SR: Probably John, it wasn’t a single for us. But “Tied to the Bells” was and I just found several thousand in publishing and royalties. For real -myself, Jorge & Lean are splitting it up as we speak! ;)

SC: You have said some fairly unflattering things about a certain blonde-haired, bandana-wearing lead singer in recent weeks.

a) Ever seen this photo? - Thoughts? Comments?

SR: Yeah I’ve seen this before & it looks like a fucking coyote up n’ died on his head & shoulders!

b) Have you ever actually visually VERIFIED this alleged baldness, and if so...how much of that coif is real/fake?

SR: I don’t think Bret’s hair issues are cheap shots by anyone or alleged. I’m in a similar category, but the reality is that he’s wearing a fucking a half a wearwolf costume on his head and I’m not. And most ‘intelligent’ people know this. It’s not anymore a secret than the whole industry questioning Rob Halford’s true sexual direction for years. Rob's all good, and so is Bret, but if he takes a shot at me, I’m taking one back! Nice wearwolf hair hat Bret! (Nice...the guy is down with his own thinning hair issues; A rarity for a lot of singers who used to have huge manes of hair)

SC: Tell us about the most unforgettable, magnificent piece-of-ass you've ever tagged (male or female, we're not discriminating 'round here) in your years as a long-haired rocker, and what part of the country/world was she from?

SR: Hmm, there are a few but I’ll decline the details & names for now. They will be mentioned in my book. Yes I did say BOOK! (Gee. I guess Stevie's got a book coming out. I hope he slings more shit in the book than he's slinging here)

SC: Now tell us about the ugliest, fattest, sloppiest piece of road ass you've ever tagged, and where she was from (our money's on Buffalo, NY...but we've been wrong before).

SR: That will be in the book as well! (Yeah yeah yeah, 'buy the book'...Gotcha. God, I hate waiting)

SC: If you could pistol-whip any celebrity/rock star (past or present) without any reprocussions/lawsuits/consequences, who would it be and why?

SR: Nobody. I’m not into guns, but I’d slap the shit out of a few people, & that might happen with the repercussions either way.

SC: You're writing football parody CDs now?
A) tell us about those.

SR: Because I was a Packer fan before Van Halen or Motley Crue came along!

SC: and B) Who the fuck is buying them?

SR: About 50,000 people to date, mostly cheeseheads from Wisconsin though! (Last time I checked, the cheeseheads were using green money, so it's all good I suppose)

SC: Hypothetical situation: TUFF is offered a one-album deal with a major label (one of the few left), and millions of dollars in non-recoupable promotional money and tour support. The catch is this: you MUST perform on the bill with POISON on their next 2004 summer roadshow. There's no guarantee that your record or tickets will sell. Do you take the offer or tell the label to go screw?

SR: I’d take this almost for sure. I’d squeeze some income out of this type of an opportunity like a motherfucker.

SC: In a recent rant on Metal-Sludge, you accuse a certain "balding shit talking lead singer" of having his former tour manager "organize threesomes in the valley" between him, a porn starlet, and your ex-girlfriend. Are you saying this just to poke your thumbs in his eyes, or is this a concrete fact? If it IS, who's the porno chick? We want to see what kind of poon this guy is tagging.

SR: It IS fact, but the names will not be mentioned. Again, books are good to read! (Bah! This is agonizing. Maybe I should have asked for a nameless picture. Damn. Maybe next time.)


...Stevie hanging with Hef and a big boobie gal at the Playboy mansion

SC: Hypothetical situation: You're playing a show in an old rock club in front of roughly 300 people who are packed in like sardines. Before the show, someone in your crew (or club owner) walks up to you and says "Hey Steve, how's about blowing off a ten foot-tall sparkler on stage right as you start your first song!" What's your response to this individual?

SR: Bad taste question, I’ll pass. (Hey, don't knock bad taste. For every sicko with a bad taste question, there's a bad taste band willing to blow off a sparkler on a tiny stage...or something).

SC: You ever get your finger nice and wet and stick it in your butt? (sorry, the well's running a little dry here).

SR: I’m not really an anal person. Sorry to let you down! (Andre, rimshot please... thank you, Andre)

SC: Hypothetical situation: An internet pornography company offers you a million dollar advance to star in a porno film with the following conditions in mind:
1) You can not hide your identity. They're going to promote you as "Stevie Rachelle of TUFF"
2) One of the scenes is a threesome with a pitted-faced-porno-skank and Ron Jeremy.
Do you take the gig?

SR: I’d take the gig in a second. Who’d pass up a million bucks to blow a few loads. Only an idiot

Now go buy some sTUFF at TuffCDs.com

Thanks, Stevie

Not too bad, would you say? That's the second interview in a row to sling some shit at Bret. Evidently, he makes the rounds when it comes to pissing people off.

Don't forget to check out Stevie's site and buy some schwag at TuffCDs.com.

...and then look at this:

"Mom, I swear to God I am NOT gay..."

*photo by Neil Zlozower