13 QUESTIONS WITH ANTIPRODUCT FRONTMAN ALEX KANE

This set of 13 Questions comes from ALEX KANE, who fronts a band across the pond (That would be England, just in case you didn't know) called ANTIPRODUCT. If Kane's name looks familiar, it's because he's a veteran of this rock band business. He was one of the original guitarists in ENUFF Z'NUFF, and was also in a band called LSD (LIFE, SEX, and DEATH), which if you remember, featured a derelict-looking singer named Stanley. Alex and Antiproduct play mostly in Europe, but no one will hold that against them (especially since any band that wants a snowball's chance in hell of not starving to death is in Europe instead of the U.S.). We sent over some moronic questions, and managed to get Alex to answer them. The band will be releasing the follow-up to 2003's Better Than This this year, so this interview is ...sort of...well-timed.

And away we go...

Steve C: It's no grand revelation that the rock music scene in the U.S. is pretty gloomy. Unless you're KISS, VAN HALEN, or BON JOVI, chances are that you're not making much money. What do you think ANTIPRODUCT is going to have to do in order to crack that U.S. nut professionally? Is it even a goal for you guys?

Alex Kane: No, only as it’s a part of planet earth. If you’d put ABBA in that original question as well and taken out the Jovi and replaced it with The RAMONES you would have described our band. We wanna bring a party atmosphere to rock ‘n’ roll, without any delusions of being too clever or overly hip (because as we all know, hip people really are gross, you ever really look at The Strokes…arggghhhh!). It’s always the freaks and weirdos that change the world for better or worse and we ain’t fishing for the in-betweens.

SC: Three of the five members of AntiProduct are women. Does having attractive women in the group present a distraction for you or drummer, Gonk? Often, band members in similar situations can have sucessful personal relationships; others keep it totally professional. How much cross-pollenation (for lack of a more eloquent term) is going on within AntiProduct?

AK: Are you kidding me? It’s like Caligula backstage. The whole place looks like a glazed doughnut when we leave. (Ha! A 'glazed doughnut reference! This guy rocks)

SC: Hypothetical Situation: You're gathering your mail one day, and you notice a letter from a U.S.- Based law firm. It's a 'cease and desist' letter from the firm that represents Mr. Gene Simmons, and it alleges that you are infringing on Mr. Simmons' trademark by painting your face with black and white greasepaint. While it's not unheard of (just ask KING DIAMOND), it is fairly unlikely that you could receive a letter like that. Would you:

A) make immediate plans to redesign your stage makeup?
B) unzip your pants and pee all over the letter?
C) retain counsel and argue your position to Mr. Simmons?
D) None of the Above.

AK: C sounds like fun.

SC: Despite playing to smaller crowds, AntiProduct always performs as if you're in front of a stadium full of people. Are you operating under the assumption that if you play the big explosive shows, you'll eventually wind up in the big arenas, or do you just not give a rat's ass what anyone thinks, or sublety for that matter?

AK: Both, yup, and the third too for that matter...

SC: Alex, you used to play with ENUFF Z'NUFF and LIFE, SEX, and DEATH back in the day. If you had to compare the experience of trying to attain success with those bands versus your experience with AntiProduct, how would you describe it? Also, what motivates you to keep plugging away at this carnivorous business given the exponentially minute success rate of bands?

AK: I do this because I find every facet of it (including the shitstorm that is the “biz”) inspiring and life affirming and sometimes it becomes a religious experience when you really bond with an audience, except with hot chicks in latex playing loud guitars and me elevating stupidity to genius levels while Simon just has anger issues onstage. What a life!

SC: You have had sex with a great number of strippers, presumably un multiple continents. What city and state (or country), in your opinion, is it the easiest to pick up a stripper?

AK: Only on one continent, actually, the stripper fucking episodes. I presume Thailand or any other impoverished third world country, it would be pretty easy to pick up a stripper for cheap.

SC: Which city, state, or country has strippers that you wouldn't fuck with a stolen dick?

AK: Probably Thailand again. (Ahh, a double-edged sword, as it were. Fascinating, Captain)

SC: Guy rockers have groupies. Female rockers have groupies as well, presumably. Have you ever had the fortune (or misfortune, take your pick) of walking in on one of the chicks in your band getting the high hard one from a male groupie?

AK: No but I’m seen ‘em getting their pussy licked by boys and girls a lot. (I should have asked him if he has videotape of it)

SC: Tragically, Enuff Z'nuff guitarist Derek Frigo passed away in May from a drug overdose. This isn't the first time, and certainly won't be the last time a band member dies from a drug overdose. How much drug use, that you have witnessed, is still going on within working rock bands?

AK: I don’t know, dude. I’m not really into that question. Derek was always very cool. (Wasn't asking you to badmouth your boy, just a question as to the drug use in the biz... should have worded it differently)

SC: Hypothetical situation #2: An eccentric millionaire offers you two million U.S. dollars, tax-free, to fellate a goat on stage during your next European tour. That's a nice chunk of change to squirrel away for a rainy day/studio time/new house. Do you take him up on it, or do your morals prevent you from contemplating such an act?

AK: I do that already for free. What’s the problem? It’s just whether or not Dee Snider will let me do it every night before their show (we’re doing a few months with TWISTED SISTER, which will be incredible!)

SC: Your drummer broke his foot after a gig, and was told not to play for two months afterward. During that time, you had the landlord from your rehearsal space fill-in. Do you think Gonk worries that 'Gaf The Awesome' is going steal his thunder...or his job, for that matter?

AK: I would be! Actually, AntiProduct is a family a family and ain’t no one (not even the stupid ones) going anywhere without the other four, the fuckin’ tools that they are.

SC: When's the new album coming out? (had to ask a normal one)

AK: Eternally. There’ll be two new AP releases before the end of the year with newly recorded material as well as a single.

SC: Let's say you're offered the opening slot on the KISS/POISON European tour. One of the stipulations is that Gene gets to copulate with the female members of the band. You think they'll go for it?

AK: You must not get out of the house a lot. We’re actually using ‘em as bait at the mo. (He's right; I don't get out much. When I do, I'm usually drunk and/or chained up to something large, lead, and stationary)

SC: Are you in this music thing for life, or is there something else you're going to fall back on when you're faced with eating cheerios for the rest of your life?

AK: You must have no idea how old I am. (Again, my bad. I should have taken into account that he's a middle-aged guy who has already been in a few national acts, and is now fronting another band in Europe. Any dullard...other than me, evidently... could see Alex is in this for the long haul. I suck)

Much thanks to Mr. Alex Kane for taking the time to answer these moronic questions. I'm sure he had more important shit to do with his precious time, like take a dump... or scratch his nuts... so we thank him immensely.

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