SLACKIN' OFF with ODD TODD

If you're in your late twenties/early thirties, and were left jobless and broke after the bottom fell out of the dot-com job market, then you know about Todd Rosenberg, otherwise known as ODD TODD, and his website, OddTodd.com. If you have NO idea who he is, here's some background info for you: Todd was working in business development for AtomFilms, and was laid off in 2001 along with 75% of the company's work force. His unemployment ran out in late 2001, and since then, he's been living off what fans leave in his online tip jar, and whatever he makes from selling T-shirts and copies of his book online.

He currently has a development deal with Comedy Central to put some of his animations on television, but in his own words, it's a "long shot". Todd updates his site constantly with new facts he's learned from the TV (because he watches a whole lot of it), daily fun links, new cartoons, and assorted ways to pass the time...rather than look for a job.

We thought he'd be an excellent person to send a few questions to, and thank God he obliged (and thank God our buddy knows him, and we could use the 'Hey, so-and-so sent us over' angle). Grab yourself a frosty beverage and check out a dozen or so questions with ODD TODD:

Steve C: You spend a great deal of time an energy updating oddtodd.com. Don't you think if you took the amount of energy you use to update your website and use it to look for a job, you'd be gainfully employed by now?

ODD TODD: Probably. But at this point I’m doing more work trying to avoid actually getting a job. I’ve been able to get by on the site with the tip jar and merchandise sales and some freelance work and I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep doing what I’m doing as long as I can. I don’t want to go back! I refuse!

SC: Hypothetical situation: You have three bills due on the first of the month; Power/Gas Bill, Phone Bill, and your VISA bill (which you have maxed out paying past power and phone bills). You have 200 dollars in the bank; enough to pay ONE of the three. Which bill gets paid, and which other two get mulched?

OT: Visa bill. Power and gas you can fruck around with for a few months before they get mad at you and you can do the same with the phone bill. Visa will smack ya with a late fee right away. But if push came to shove I think I need heat more than visa… I think…

SC: Which would of the three would you rather have: tremendous wealth, tremendous sex appeal, or tremendous power? Why?

OT: Tremendous wealth. I figure the other two would fall in line naturally. (Well done. Rich guys are powerful and they get poon. Period. End of discussion)

SC: Of all of the get-rich-quick shcemes you've concocted, which was the most likely to make you millions? Which was the most likely to get you arrested? Which was the most likely to get you laid?

OT: I’ve never really had a fully formed idea. One was the ‘Mailbox Minder’. Which was a wireless beeper alert in your house to let you know when the mail arrived. I looked into getting a patent on it and then got lazy. As for getting arrested I always thought the guy who sent around letters to restaurants claiming he got ‘spilled on’ and included a dry cleaning receipt for $12 was brilliant. He sent that to thousands of restaurants. Seemed like a fairly harmless scam. As for getting laid I haven’t figure that one out yet…

SC: Does simply being 'Todd from OddTodd.com' carry any clout with the ladies? If so, tell us about the finest piece of trim you've ever had as a result of being who you are.

OT: Not really to be honest. Most of the chicks who write in asking for dates live like across the country. No local chicks seem interested. And I’m pretty shy anyway so unless I wore a shirt saying ‘I’m Odd Todd!’ they’d never know... (Todd has to learn the fine art of convincing a chick to get on a plane to come visit. Of course, he runs the risk of inviting a psychopath into his li'l apartment)

SC: OK, now tell us about the fattest, fat fatty you've ever had the misfortune of meeting because of this gig.

OT: Not sure what you’re referring to… a blunt? (Crap. Should have worded that one better. My bad.)

SC: You have taken the concept of "one man's trash is another man's treasure" to heart by collecting household items that people have left at the side of the road, and claiming them as your own. Which of these salvaged items do you most 'treasure'?

OT: A full length mirror I found leaning against a dumpster. It has a crack but it still works. Unfortunately the reflection is off. It seems like one of those carnival warped funhouse mirrors and makes me look like I have a big gut or something

SC: You reference porn every so often on your site and in your cartoons. What kind of porn does Odd Todd wax his banana to? 70's-style big-bush porno? Bukkake? Shaved-puss-and-ass-bikini chick-in-stripper-heels-taking-it-up-the-pooper smut? Guatemalan snuff?

OT: I’m not much on the wacked hardcore to be honest. Except for Guatemalan snuff. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. (A man after our own hearts. We should hook up with Todd and do some snuff-trading...yes, that's a joke)

SC: Odd Todd watches A LOT of television. However, Todd usually learns something each and every day from watching television. What's the MOST profound thing Todd has learned with the vast amount of television he watches?

OT: The amount of television I watch.

SC: When anyone sits in front of a television (either on a couch or a chair) for a moderate amount of time, the temporary result is usually a butt-shaped imprint on the offending piece of furniture. Sitting in front of the television as much as you do must produce a more permanent depression. Describe the depression (on your couch, or in your life) that watching copious amounts of television has created?

OT: Well I sit in a beanbag ‘poof’ chair so it’s made for that. I pick it up and roll it around my apartment to fluff it back up when the depression gets too depressing.

SC: Often, out of economic desperation, you have had to become resourceful with cuisine and the creative combination of foods. What food combinations would you reccommend that we try at home?

OT: Peas. Peas. Peas. Peas on anything. Spaghetti with peas on top. Baked potatoes with peas on top. Peas with peas on top.

SC: OK, now which food combinations send you running to the toilet in agony, clenching your buttcheeks?

OT: Peas with peas on top.

SC: Speaking of your toilet... we hear you're having some issues with your crapper. With little or no money, how does one deal with a clogged or malfunctioning toilet? Have you ever had to resort to dumping in a bag and tossing it onto the street?

OT: My landlord takes care of stuff so that’s cool. Once there was a situation in college where we had to crap in hefty bags for a few days because the bathroom with ruined. It wasn’t a good experience. Plus there was no toilet paper so we used coffee filters and stuff... (Eeeeeeewwwww... Coffee filters? Those are so coarse. I prefer the old 'rinsing-the-roomate's-toothbrush-under-the-water-so-he-can't-tell-you-just-wiped-your-butt-with-it trick)

SC: Hypothetical situation: You're sitting at your computer one morning/afternoon, typing up your thoughts for the day, drinking a nice big cup of coffee. Suddenly, a disoriented pigeon smacks into the window of your apartment, startling you, causing you to spill coffee into the CPU of your precious computer. Your PC shorts out, and your monitor explodes, sending shards of monitor glass into your face and hands. Miraculously, you live, but you're blind and your hands have been shredded, so typing is no longer an option. How is Odd Todd going to make a living?

OT: Drawing cartoons with my feet in the street! That can’t be beat! And would be sweet! Think of the people I’d meet! That’d be neat! I like teet!

SC: FX has launched a new reality show called 'Todd TV' about a 30 year-old slacker who is videotaped 24/7, and whose every move is dictated by the viewing audience. Let's say, for the sake of argument, we can convince a million people to call up and convince Todd from 'Todd TV' to show up and your apartment and challenge you to a swordfight. Do you take him up on it for the sake of getting yourself some publicity (and trouncing someone who could potentially harm your chances of a future TV deal), or do you politely decline?

OT: A penis sword fight? Pass… (Actually, I meant a REAL sword fight. Todd was the one who made it all gay and stuff with the penises)

It does annoy me that this show exists but I’m not concerned about it. I’m not gonna go stab him or anything...

We lift up our hearts to Odd Todd. We give him thanks and praise. Go visit Odd Todd's site. NOW.

BUY TODD'S BOOK!

(Much thanks to Al D. for hooking us up with Todd)