Daily Opie and Anthony Show Updates Postings for November 2007
WHAT DID WE LEARN? FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2007
Posted: Friday, November 30, 2007
Friday, Povember 30, 2007
Say Goodbye to Povember... ...and hello to DeSAMber? I'm not sure about that one... It's Frideeee, ya sick bastards!
6:00
Jimmy wants to stab himself...
Why did he have to eat a scoop of ice cream last night? Poor li'l dribble lap is trying to lose weight.
Just wait for the ol' Hi-5 to kick in... those pounds'll melt away.
Opie says that last night he ate a strawberry fruit bar. That sounds ok, doesn't it? Well, anytime Op eats sugar after 4PM he's up all night. I don't care for that.
Opie has a delicate constitution. Well, sorta.
O&A Sports Guys...
• The Knicks scored only 59 points in last night's loss to the Celtics... 104-59. Good work, A-holes.
• The Cowboys beat the Packers last night and Jimmy was too busy stuffing his fat cake-taker with ice cream. He claims he didn't know it was on... Op says it wasn't on his cable and he's paying over $200 per month. Why the hell don't you get all of the channels when you're paying that much?
• Brett Favre was injured in last night's game, but he says he'll be ready for next week's game.
Getting Involved...
Opie says "MySpace Voodoo" is running wild on Google. Good work, Pests! Keep throwing it into the search, people!
Guy Richie's "Revolver"
Anthony was up last night to watch a screener of Guy Richie's new movie "Revolver." Op and Jimmy also had copies of it and watched... and it don't sound like they had too easy a time following the story and paying attention. Ant says he paid strict attention to the movie right from the beginning and still it was a bit confusing. He was enjoying the ride but had the sinking feeling he was gonna end up stranded in the middle of a desert of dissatisfaction... then the credits rolled. Ugh.
Once again, Herr von Cumia was right.
Opie says he got so frustrated with his inability to follow the movie that he ended up going online to play Full Tilt Poker. Jimmy went online trying to register for the auction of Ozzy memorablilia on ebay... but he couldn't get it done.
The boys are trying to figure out what to say to Guy Ritchie when he comes into the studio to promote "Revolver." They can't just say the movie sucked but while watching it, they were lost and didn't get it. Oh, they’ll figure out what to say.
Other confusing films...
For Ant:Donnie Darko For Opie:Memento For Jimmy: Any movie that doesn't involve scat.
Sometimes a film takes a second viewing for it to be fully appreciated... and sometimes a film is just a confusing, muddled mess that sucks Rich Vos' ear pus.
6:30
Little Jimmy Buttons says Apple is a great company.
I sure would love Apple to provide me with a nice MacBook Pro. Hint Hint!
Anyway, He took his iPhone in for something and forgot he had taken a photo of his junk to use as his icon for Anthony when he calls him. Oh, that silly boy! I hope Jimmy had trimmed up into a "Hitler Moustache" to give it a better look to represent Anthony.
Anthony was looking at the comments on Fark.com regarding this story and they were all on one side or the other... either all for Rodney and against the police involved in the original case, or totally against him and his lifelong criminal record. Ant points out that when people are arguing their viewpoints on a message board their opinions are NEVER changed.
The guys talk a bit about rock memorabilia...
Anthony remembers going into Modell’s up in Commack and buying one of those bad nylon tour jackets all the kids were so crazy about in the 70s and 80s. WBAB was printed on the back in that bad plastic paint they used to use. What a tool! Well, we all made bad garment choices back in those days.
Big Daddy Jimmy had himself a Kangol hat back when he was going through his racial identity crisis during his late teens. Some black gentleman thought so little of Jimmy wearing that hat that he decided to rip it right off Jimmy's head... and our chinless li’l buddy responded by saying, “If you wanted to see my hat, why didn’t you ask?” Oh Jimmy.
Even MORE Cumiatic revelations...
During the 80's Ant had a pair of those terrible parachute pants with the zippers all over them. It’s rumored that "Tree Fort Richard" died after thinking of all the wonderfully tempting possibilities lurking behind all those metal-toothed closures. See that? Anthony even had fans before he was famous.
OK TERRIFIC!
Opie says that back in his college days he grew one of those trendy and awful rat-tails so he could look cool going in and out of bars. I think he finally shaved it off after he kept getting melted marshmallow stuck in it.
Jimmy says he once went fishing with his pal Billy D’Angelo and both of their dads. Billy and his father couldn’t stop pulling one fish after another from the water... while the sad-sack Nortons didn’t get Nibble-One. Jimmy’s dad hoped to teach his son how to be a fisherman.
He PARTIALLY succeeded... the kid ended up being a Tranny-Trawler.
7:00
Solidarity... Or Something.
Opie says that almost everyone who worked at the Rochester station he started out at was fired yesterday... some after over 30 years of employment. Op wishes them all well and is considering hopping on a Jet Blue flight and going up to offer some support to the guys. I’m sure they’d really appreciate a guy who sweats greenbacks showing up to say “Good Luck, Bro.”
Something Fishy...
When Ant was a kid he was fishing with his dad and they were using little crabs as bait. Lil Ant fell asleep in the boat and when he woke up he found a bunch of the little crabs had crawled into his hair and of course, Anthony started to cry. I’m sure that went over well with his always understanding dad.
Jimmy once ended up catching a whole mess of Brazilian crabs, so maybe he DID learn how to fish after all.
Opie talks about the time after his brother Brett’s bachelor party, where they all went out on a boat fishing and his bro ended up casting out his line and hooking a seagull. What sort of bait was he using?
Jimmy’s opinion of fish is that they are so dreadfully awful they deserve to be nothing but food.
Some guy calls up saying that the boys are a bunch of Nancies because they can’t even stand taking a hook out of a fish’s mouth. That’s MISTER Nancies to YOU, sir.
Oh Deer...
Opie once went deer hunting and was sorta taken out of it when he found out that deer cry out when they’re shot. I don’t think I’d like that at all.
Speaking of hunting, Jimmy goes into a GREAT Uncle Ted rant. I’m gonna go out on a limb here: That Jim Norton is a funny one.
Johnny the Trucker calls in with an embarrassing fishing moment. He caught a fish and SCREAMED when the first mate on the boat came up and smashed the fish’s head with a bat. HaHa! You screamed!
The guys bring up the incredibly ugly Sea Robin (not to be confused with Robin The C that used to do the news on the old morning show). Icky.
Check out Cokelogic’s great animation of the Jimmy Dean So-seeetcchh fan if you haven't already. And notice the little "Embed" button, dopes.
Anthony mistakenly refers to them as “Billy Dean” Sausages and hilarity ensues. Billy Dean was a strip club way back when... one which featured naked black men.
Is that right? Oooops!
7:30
A caller phones in to say how bad he felt when he went bear hunting only to find out that they cry when they’re shot. I might cry, too. I bet that stings A LOT.
Ant points out that on L.I. you don’t see any deer tied to bumpers of cars anymore like you did years ago. Ya gotta go upstate for that, Ant. Don’t get lost in the woods, though. Bigfoot might get ya.
They try to get him to recite the alphabet and he has a bit of trouble with it. I laughed.
8:00
Guy Ritchie is in studio and the boys don’t like the way he smells... they LOVE it! The fancy Madonna nailing Brit wears standard Polo cologne. Opie tells Guy that he’s crazy about “Snatch.” We already knew that, Op.
Everyone talks about accents and how some actors can really pull off an American one.
Hey Guy! Is Ray Liotta a good actor?
Guy says that “he’s interesting.” Hmmmmmm...
The boys get into an in-depth discussion about the movie that probably confused the show’s younger, non-attentive listeners. You know what Jimmy loves? A good chess scene, that’s what. Well, then, Jim, no wonder ya loved the cinematography in this movie. Chess scenes galore, from what I’ve heard.
Opie tells Guy about the time he tried to get back into playing chess by doing it online... only to find out that he had been playing against a 9 year old and felt like a bit of a creep.
Don’t worry, Op... we still like you. Especially Erock.
Let me just say one thing: I thought Guy Ritchie would be sorta douchy but he turned out to be a fairly interesting and amusing “chap.” That’s British slang for “Fella,” dontcha know.
8:30 New Year’s Norton Eve!
See Jim Norton at the North Fork Theater at Westbury on Long Island this New Year’s Eve at 8PM.
A lot of people know him from The Radio Chick Show that was on the NY airwaves not so long ago. Opie was the one who introduced Chuck to The Chick years back. Chuck had been brought into the studio along with a few other black guys to scare O&A’s very racist staff member, Spaz. I’m not sure if you know Chuck, but he’s not the most intimidating guy in the world.
He is, however, one of the best dressed men in history.
Chuck will be at Comix in NYC this weekend, tonight and Saturday to be exact.
Mr. Nice says he’s a bit too soft for the O&A Show and the guys dispute that by bringing up their earlier discussion about how they get all squeamish when removing fish hooks from their catches.
Point Of Nausea...
Chuck does a show for the Women’s Entertainment Channel called “Cinematherapy." Yuck. I hope his ovaries burst. The guys gab a bit with Chuck, who remembers that Jimmy Kimmel used to do the O&A Show all the time until 'NEW fired one of his buddies... then he refused to do any show for Viacom again... until David Letterman asked him on his show.
Why, you dirty lowdown...
Here are Opie’s football picks for this weekend... Sponsored by Dish Network.
Brother Elmo is OUT and Chuck is making the picks for Op. Perhaps Massengil would like to sponsor this week, as well?
Giants over Bears
Jets over Dolphins Eagles over Seahawks Rams over Falcons Vikings over Lions Colts over Jaguars Browns over Cardinals
We’ll see how someone who hosts a show for WE does with football picks. Good luck, sis!
Have a great weekend! Seeya Monday, you awful people.
---------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics & edits by Joe C.
oooOOooOOooooOOOOOoooOOOoooOOooOOooOo!!! Jimmy Norton is back in studio today!
6:00
No African boobies are being shown on Discovery HD this morning. Awwwww!
Our Fans Are Revolting
Listeners are calling in with nothing worthwhile to say in a bid to resurrect Phone Call Thursday. IT'S BACK!
Large Whompered Traffic Girl, Jill Nicolini, looked a bit chilly this morning on Jill TV. Ant says her breasts are so large they sometimes go all "Marty Feldman" on her. Delightful.
Sit back and enjoy the ride... Li'l Jimmy has a Taxi Story for us.
Last week a cab driver hit a bum on a bike while driving Jimmy home after the show. The unwashed bicylist flew off his bike, onto the hood of the cab and bashed into the windshield. Luckily for the homeless cretin, the multiple layers of dirt, crabs, and body cheese covering him cushioned his fall. After a few seconds on the ground the smelly victim popped up and tried to talk the taxi driver into giving him $20 to pay for his bent wheel. He walked away with his bike after the cheap fella refused.
...And I say to myself what a wonderful world.
T'anks fer nuttin'!
Someone at Jimmy's hotel polished his suede shoes and ROOOOONED 'em. If anyone would like to donate a new pair of size 8 1/2 EEE Rockports, please contact our chinless pal.
Much to Anthony's chagrin, people keep calling in to wish the boys a very happy Phone Call Thursday.
Zoe Zane...
A missing Kansas college student led an apparent double life as an internet porn star named Zoe Zane. Foul play is suspected, especially since cops searched the hotel room of the last person she was seen with and found his room covered with blood. Even the sheets were missing.
This can't end well.
Calls come in from some more wonderful listeners about hitting people with their cars. And so it goes...
6:30
More Road Stories...
-Someone calls in to remind Opie that he himself once hit a pedestrian. It was the time he was driving with Ant and he decided to give someone in the crosswalk a little nudge with his bumper, which enraged the slow-poke walker so much that he punched the passenger side mirror right off the truck... leaving it dangling from the wire.
-A few years after the days of Monster Rain, Jimmy was in a car that had its bumper ripped off by an 18-Wheeler. After they pulled over and exchanged insurance info with the driver, Jimmy's friend Steve Jackalona, who was with him and also high, burst into tears.
Poor li'l feller.
-A few people call in about hitting and killing animals. Jimmy himself once ran over an already dead German Shepherd and felt awful about it. It was near a holiday and he knew it must've been someone's pet. It made him cry.
That Norton is so sensitive... sometimes he gets a terrible rash.
Years ago Ant had an old Mustang that he had just picked up after having the brakes serviced. He was heading down a hill and TRIED to hit the brakes... NOTHING! He flew across an intersection and seconds later a huge truck went by. Ant ended up having to cut the wheel sharply to avoid going through a chain-link fence and into a sump. Anthony sat there and had himself a shaking episode. Damn that adrenaline!
More near-miss stories from listeners including one schmuck who uses the phrase "decapitated from the shoulders down." Wait what?
-A guy calls up saying that he saw what he thought was a deer being struck after it jumped out in front of a speeding truck. A pair of boots were left on the side of the road and the caller spent the next few moments marveling about what big feet the deer seemed to have had. Eventually he figured out that it was in fact a man wearing brown work clothes that had been struck. The guy obviously wanted to kill himself.
Thank God, because who doesn't love a pretty deer? This caller also lost 3 toes in an accident. I wonder if he's interested in an Egg Nog Drinking contest.
Opie says that there are a few famous places where people seem to go to kill themselves... the Golden Gate Bridge being one of the most popular.
It's been discovered that people have been dumping the cremated remains of their loved ones in The Pirates Of The Carribean ride at Disney, as well as in their other attractions. It's a small urn after all.
(ed. note: So what? It's just ash. It's not like there are some unburned veins or teeth floating by the rides patrons. Sheesh!)
7:00
News For You's
• A Long Island dad was arrested after trying to get his 9 year old son to help him out with a drug test by urinating into a cup. Cops noticed some shenanigans going on in the guy’s car because he had the kid do it right in a parking lot. Opie says that people would be able to get away with a lot more stuff if they didn’t do things in such a stupid, panicky way.
Good point, Mr. Hughes.
• Some dead doctor up in Westchester was found to have a “staggeringly large” collection of child porn. Authorities are trying to track down some of the victims who were photographed from the 60's through the early 80's. The guy had 50,000 slides and 100 reels of 8mm movies.
Wow. Talk about needing a lot of stimulation aids. Ha ha... Aids.
Here We Go Again...
Bi-polar lunatic Breda, a sassy Irish gal, calls up to curse several times and bore the entire audience. Opie is curious about what she looks like and asks her if she has a MySpace page... she does. Op thinks Breda’s using “MySpace Voodoo” to cover up a world of hurt. Opie wanted to hang up on her but there was some sort of malfunction and he had to get "Mother’s Least Favorite Child," Than, to corrrrrect the problem and hang up on the boring psycho.
Crinkle Crinkle
An 8th grader named Andrew calls in during his bus ride to school just to shoot the $#!+ with the boys and Opie offers to take him to an Islanders game. LINGERRRRR LONGERRRRR!!
7:30
People call in about the horrors of “MySpace Voodoo.”
Crash from Toucher and Rich calls in to talk about dumping half his mother’s ashes into the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disney and the other half into the Atlantic. He’s a bit put off by the fact that he’s not being billed as his show’s top drunk, with the honors going to Toucher himself.
It turns out that the famous image of the guy holding the “Iron My Shirt, Bitch” sign to annoy women protesters outside of Augusta Golf Club was actually Rich of Toucher and Rich. These women wanted the right to play alongside the men. That photo was an internet sensation a few years back. What a good boy, Rich.
Jimmy says he wants the New England Patriots to NOT go undefeated since they beat his favorite team, The Dallas Cowboys. That Jimmy is a naughty one. Erock has gotten access to annoying Breda’s MySpace pictures. She's using MySpace Voodoo.
8:00
Colin Quinn is in studio and he disagrees with Jimmy about his sports views.
Those two just can’t see eye to eye.
Back to “MySpace Voodoo.” Colin says that bloated funnyman Bob Kelly is guilty of that... he’s all svelte on his MySpace page and then you see him in public and he’s 480. Colin’s MySpace page itself just STINKS. His brother ruins it for him and as of this morning he had only 401 friends. Wow.
Liar Whore! Liar Whore and You Know It!
Tricks girls use to make themselves look better on Myspace:
-“The MySpace Angle...” finding a single flattering angle to be photographed from and using that as your pic. -Looping their hair around their throat to cover up a fatty neck. -Very large glasses to make a fat face look slimmer. -Sucking in the cheeks to make her face look not so blubbery. -Leaning forward and using a very bright flash so only her face is lit up... and all the fatness is in the dark. -Girls with awful teeth or giant gums don’t smile. Show us that fleshy smile, Gumbalina! -Some girls will have those dreadful “Glamour Shots” taken at the mall with a gauzy filter over the lens.
Why do they always have bad 80's Mall Hair?
Looking at some other girls who’ve deceived, they find one who looks stunning in the first picture... a couple of pix down she’s the girl from Shallow Hal with dark hair. Yeeesh.
A charming fella calls in saying that the girl he met through MySpace never showed the arm brace crutches she needs to walk in any of her pictures. When he got to the bar she was already sitting down. I don’t think he was happy when he found out the deal.
Some woman calls and says her husband went to jail when someone took a picture of him from his MySpace page and set up a false account... then used it to send his ex-girlfriend a threatening message. Something sounds VERY fishy about this one. She seemed most pissed over the fact that he got sent to jail on her birthday, which is apparently SO important it should be made a national holiday.
Please don’t call back.
8:30
Colin Quinn will be appearing at the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC tonight through Sunday.
Anthony talks about the Wilford Brimley "Diabeetus" commercials and the spoofs on YouTube that all the kids are so crazy about. Check them out.
PERV NEWS THURSDAY
Some guy bought his best friend a clock radio from The Sharper Image that had a hidden camera in it and used it to spy on the guy's wife when it was placed in their bathroom. He was sentenced to one year in prison and it's clear from the audio played that the guy is somehow disabled. He talks like a cross between Rich Vos and Truman Capote.
Poor sick bastard.
(Anyone have a link to this story? Anyone?)
What's this story?
A guy who calls himself "Baseball Playa" has been the silliest of geese. He's a 21 year old guy who likes to play with himself in the aisles of various stores in his local mall. He tapes himself having a tug then posts the videos online for anyone to check out. In some stills from them you can see people browsing the goods behind him.
What a twisted sport!
Jimmy Norton will be appearing this New Year's Eve at The Northfork Theater at Westbury at 8 PM. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. I wanna go!
Make sure you go to Google and search "MySpace Voodoo." Go do it. I mean NOW!
We'll seeya tomorrow, kids! Mmmmmmm....beer!
---------------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics, edits and waiting by Joe C.
Posted: Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Wednesday, Povember 28, 2007
It's Whip 'Em Out Wednesday! Ladies... you know what to do...
In Africa it's "Leave 'Em Out Wednesday."
6:00
African boobies?
Opie loved seeing them when he was a kid. Thank God for National Geographic! O&A began the day watching African women build a mud hut on Discovery HD. How could such young women already be so saggy? Ant wants the women to stop fiddling with the mud and start working on THE WHEEL.
Simpleton Extraordinaire, Rich Vos, is in studio for the still absent Jim Norton. Rumor has it that Jim is out in L.A. auditioning for another show. That chinless turncoat!
On screen O&A are now watching the Africans do awful things to a cow as they slaughter it. Erock is kind enough to let us in on the action through his Paltalk camera. And NO, this footage wasn't shot 50 years ago... this is what's going on over there TODAY. We actually live in the same world as the one where women still carry things on their heads. This footage should be airing on the "We've Made No Discoveries Channel."
"Dancing With The Stars" is over...
But have no fear..."Drooling With The Idiot" is happening this morning with Vos in studio.
The champ from "Dancing With The Stars" is race car driver Helio Castroneves, who wants Spice Girls tickets. Wait. What? This fella may be a bit on the swishy side. People have been Googling whether or not Helio is married, because it seems like he might not be the marrying kind. Check to see if he's into "Drag" racing.
Mrrrfff err meh!
Perhaps he's not gay... he just might be one of those Metrosexuals... which don't really exist. They should be called "Faux Mos" instead. It just sounds less kind and more appropriate.
Stop waxing your eyebrows, sissy!
You can act like a man! Whassamatta with you?! Anthony hasn't watched a show like that one since "Dancing With The Himmlers" was cancelled back in 1945.
Another contestant from DWTS was big-toothed Morman Marie Osmond. TMZ is reporting that she had a writer supplying her with all her supposedly witty lines she dropped all season long on that moronic show. It's also alleged that her fainting spell of a few weeks ago was staged. Someone look into whether or not the TMZ "anchor" who reported this story has someone writing his smarmy lines.
Here's the "faint" in case you missed it...
6:30
The boys are still watching Africans on Discovery HD. Who has the job of pixelating the junk of the young fellers in this kind of video? Ant speculates it COULD be Dr. Smith. OH DEAR!!
A listener has the impression that Marie Osmond is a "weirdo" and Opie wants to start a "Weirdo List."
The first people he's adding: -Donny and Marie Osmond -The ENTIRE Jackson Family
Jim in Boston wants to wake up his wife for Wake Up Your Spouse Wednesday. He blasts an airhorn, curses, and hangs up. You sir, are an ass and I hate you. I mean A LOT.
O&A Religion Guys...
Op has decided he's becoming a RELIGIOUS FREE AGENT on top of being a Sports Fan Free Agent. Interesting idea.
Opie wants a religion that does only GOOD stuff for him... he wants to be able to eat meat on Friday and NOT go to Hell. In fact, there is to be NO HELL in his new religion, whatever it turns out to be. WICCA is a strong possibility. He has to look into Buddhism and he'd like a bit of reincarnation to be thrown in there somewhere.
Opie's been to a couple of Baptist Breakfasts (which in fact were Gospel Brunches) and he enjoyed their energetic style.
Someone thinks Opie is just going after a new religion so he can gain TAX EXEMPT status... just like his father had years back.
It seems that the elder Mr. Hughes decided that his family was, in fact, A CHURCH. This saved loads of money in taxes because they were considered a non-profit organization. Op recalls going to the mall to buy new sneakers and having the Non-Taxable form with him that his dad gave him so he could save a couple of bucks. Poor Opie! Literally.
Let's not forget the time Op's younger twin brothers were given brand new bikes so their dad could rig up a board between them and use it as a makeshift plow.
Anthony wants "The Hughes Family" added to the list of Weirdos.
MORE WEIRDOS:
-Tom Cruise... with his Scientology and odd marriage. -Marilyn Manson... who has been accused of cheating bandmembers out of money by spending tons on the skeletons of Chinese kids, human skin, and Nazi memorabia. Ant doesn't believe that collecting items from "The Era" is bad. Of course he doesn't.
7:00
Back to religion...
Vos tells us that when he was a kid he had really cheap yarmulkes.
Vos' burlap yarmulke.
How surprising! None of those embroidered jobs for young Rich... he was lucky if he had a piece of material just tacked onto the top of his empty skull.
ANOTHER CLUE: Conglomerated Sam is a BAPTIST.
Keep claiming you're White Sam. We believe ya.
Opie wants listeners to take pix of Sam and tint them to make him look like the Black man we already know he is. Get to work, people!
Wrestler Ric Flair is backing Mike Huckabee in his run for president. That can't be helpful. Ric says he won't ever retire from wrestling... he will die in the ring. Let's all hold hands and pray that happens VERY soon.
Here's a thought: If pitted against each other in a wrestling ring, which religion would prevail? This will require some research. Vos says that Jews aren't the pushovers you think they are, just look at Israel. Rich, we're talking about American Jews. Try slapping someone with a lawsuit while you're in the wrestling ring. I don't think it would have the same effect that it might in the real world.
Ant speculates that a resurrected Jesus would be a pretty tough opponent... we're assuming his wounds would be healed by then. Buddha himself might be a bit too peaceful to really throw a good ass kicking around but a large statue of him would sure be heavy. The Hindu god Kali on the other hand would be a pretty tough cookie, what with all those arms and skulls.
A girl calls in and recommends Satanism to Opie as a new choice of religion. Anthony, however, insists that if HE was going to switch over to Satanism it's not going to participate in that dull sham of a religion that he hears her talking about. He wants the whole fire and brimstone thing and Satanic superpowers. AND DON'T FORGET LOTS OF UNPROTECTED SEX!!! LOTS OF IT! I MEAN LOTS!!
Some guy calls in saying that Opie should choose ATHEISM as his new religion because Michelangelo painted a portrait of Jesus and everyone knows that Michelangelo was a homo. Ok then. Opie says that the guy couldn't have been a practicing homo because he spent 10 years on his back painting which doesn’t suit the whole gay thing... if he had been an active homo he would’ve painted THE FLOOR. Oh, that Opie! That's the Line Of The Day, by the way.
Opie likes the Wiccan religion because he was always into Dead Head chicks... and they are they type who get into that religion. Op needs to bear in mind that there is a huge drawback to those naked Wiccan ceremonies out in the woods: Cold Weather Shrinkage. Nobody likes to be caught turtling in public.
7:30 Presidential Hackery?
Op says that Bush's attempts to help negotiate peace in the Middle East is just a hack thing to do at this point.
Other hack things the C in C can do:
That stupid White House Lawn Easter Egg Hunt, pardoning the Thanksgiving Turkey, Jogging in public, etc...
Pancakes and Prayer?
Opie loved the "Gospel Brunch" at The House Of Blues when they were up in Boston. Anthony was dragged there by his ex and her mother. All he wanted was a Bloody Mary and maybe some eggs... but people kept dancing around him trying to entice him to get up and get down. Maybe the afro Ant was sporting back then gave them the wrong idea. Oh Lawdy Lawd!
Someone calls in suggesting that February should be SAM HISTORY MONTH... screw DeSAMber! I like it.
Anthony talks about his days in Married Hell and how he couldn’t just TELL his mother in law that he didn’t want to go to the Gospel Brunch. Non-Compliance with the wishes of his ex and her mother was MUCH worse than suffering through what they wanted him to do. What a nightmare! He had to stay with them and watch SOAP OPERAS?! Not to mention something I find equally, if not more disgusting: They made him watch FRIENDS. That is just so cruel.
O&A reminisce about their days back at ‘AAF when they would throw baked beans all over hot girls they had in their studio. Naked girls weren’t enough? Ok then.
Anthony tells Vos that when he broke up with his ex, his mother in law cut his face out of the “Demented World” poster she had proudly hung on her wall... but she kept Opie's picture intact. She didn't like Opie... she LOVED him!! Let’s not forget mother in law Judy’s insistence that “Three Rights Make A Left.” Oh dear Lord.
8:00
A post script to Ant’s home defense rant of yesterday: Ant got many kudos from law enforcement officers and fans who agreed with him that it’s always a good idea to be prepared for any eventuality. Ant listened to the replay and admitted that he may have sounded a bit crazy but he still agrees with what he said.
Brother Joe called to remind Ant of the time Joe dropped by unannounced on their father out in California. Joe had to hide behind a tree yelling, “Dad! It’s ME!” as his father was standing in the doorway holding a .357 wearing underwear.
Another time when there had been a spree of problems in the area, a black fella was prowling around and Ant’s father ended up on top of the guy holding his .357 on him until the cops arrived. Ant speculates about the wonderful things his dad may have said to the guy, who was undoubtedly sorry he picked that house to mess around at.
Annie from Queens calls back. Once again she talks and talks and talks over everyone. She’s the 40-something that’s been trawling the internet for a man to marry. She boringly tells us that she had been chatting with a guy who was interested in her but she discovered through spying on him on AOL chat that he was a bisexual. Apparently you can check to see what sorts of chat rooms your buddies are in. How nice. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Opie says that up until Annie’s call they were having a perfect show... but not anymore. So much for the no-hitter! Anyway, Annie found out that the guy she was checking into was having unprotected sex with men. Perhaps she shouldn’t date that one. Annie proves to be the O&A Show “Cooler.” What a fun wrecker!
More Presidential Hackery:
-Signing a bill using 100 different pens. -Going to Dallas just to get the top of your head shot off. Good one, Vos.
Opie says that Annie screwed up the show so badly that they’ve actually let in a couple of runs. Thanks for destroying the no-hitter, Greek witch.
Here’s a nice news story...
When people see a picture of a blonde they do worse in tests because they unconsciously mimic the stereotypical behavior of “the dumb blonde.” Vos says he doesn’t need a blonde around to act dumb. So true.
Someone calls in saying that Annie wants to make him “Linger Lesserer.” I understand.
Annie calls back because she heard Opie say the phones went dead after her call... and she called back to “help” the show. She blabs some more and reveals she has both a public access show on cable and Multiple Sclerosis. She also told us that her name isn’t actually “Annie” but “Amthi."
Nice name, Roller Girl.
8:30 What Did We Learn?
Brendan in NY learned to never date a woman with MS because he can’t build a birdhouse, let alone a wheelchair ramp.
After a call comes in from NC, Vos said that a club owner down there won’t have him back because his act is too “New York.” Rich says that “Seinfeld” and “The Sopranos” were also very “New York." Sorry, Vos... I believe The Sopranos took place in New Jersey. Someone points out that Rich thinks enough of himself to compare his act with two of the most successful TV shows in history. Someone learned that a perfect game can be ruined by one bunt. Nice.
A bunch of “Fargo” quotes make a caller from Minnesota hang up dejectedly. Opie says he showed his lovely fiancee that movie a couple of months ago and she questioned Opie about why he categorized that film as a “comedy.” Op says that “About Schmidt” was another “serious” movie that he finds totally hysterical. So many awful things happened to Schmidt you just gotta laugh.
Erock says that during a showing of "Titanic" he laughed out loud in a theater during the scene where people were falling into the ship's propellers... and some girl stood up and threw her Sprite at his chest. How RUDE! I hope the soda didn't get into Erock's Garlic Butter Slaaaaaaagggghhhhhhgghhhggh.
Come back tomorrow for more of my idiocy.
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tuesday, Povember 27, 2007
Happy Tuesday, Kiddies.
Is that a new Cokelogic animation? Why yes it is...
This week's topic is Sositch.
We also posted a two parter of the Dumb-Off between Rich Vos, Bob Kelly and ex-intern Francine. Enjoy.
It's 80s New Wave Tuesday... and other stuff. Patrice O'Neal is in studio today for the dynamic James Norton.
6:00
Last week's Make Up Stuff Tuesday story about the "Hitler Balloon" in the Thanksgiving Day Parade didn't float. Mrrff err meh. For whatever reason, people didn't really pick up on it.
Does anyone have a good idea for a fake story we can plant THIS week?
A couple of weeks ago Jimmy bashed AT&T because of the way he keeps getting extra charges on his iPhone bill. Someone at AT&T, who is a fan of the show, got ahold of Anthony's number after hearing that audio and called him up... then fixed all the problems Ant himself was having with his billing plan. Does AT&T have a calling plan that allows Ant to phone up his old war buddies in South America? I hope so. And is there anyone who can help Lil Jimmy?
M.U.S.T.
Phil in Bay Shore(howdy neighbor) calls in with a good premise for Make Up Stuff Tuesday: Say that Kanye West was arrested for killing the doctor who caused his mother's death. Ooh! THAT is a good one, sir.
A couple of other ideas:
- Isiah Thomas got fired. That one is almost too believeable. - Natalie Hollander was found alive in Thailand. She had been kidnapped. - Hillary Clinton has chosen husband Bill as her running mate. - "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" is being banned because of its overly pedophilic lyrics. I think that one is a bit of a stretch, but I can see where the caller was trying to go with it.
Back to some real news...
• Oprah is backing Obama for President... she went with the Black guy instead of semi-female Hillary. Polls are showing that Hillary would lose to ANY Republican candidate if she ran head-to-head against them. ACK! ACK! ACK!!!
• President Bush has been nothing but "the war guy" the whole time he's been in office... so why is he now trying to negotiate a Middle Eastern peace plan? Nobody's buying it. It smacks of him trying to salvage some small part of his reputation before leaving office. There will only be peace in the Middle East when there are no more people alive, ANYWHERE on the planet.
6:30
Cum On, Feel No Pulse
Kevin Dubrow, lead singer of 80's musical disasters Quiet Riot was found dead in his Las Vegas home at the age of 52. No details about his death have been released, pending the results of an autopsy and toxicology tests.
One down, lead singer of Ratt to go.
Sean Taylor, who played for the NFL Redskins has died following a shooting over the weekend. He was shot in his leg and had suffered major blood loss. Apparently he was hit in the femoral artery. Ouch. It’s a possible home invasion, but there seems to be more to the story.
Anthony says you have to keep your guns around you in your home AT ALL TIMES. Ant uses the walk-in closet in his bedroom as his “panic room.” He describes in detail how he’d defend himself from his cover point in the closet. Anthony also keeps some swords and rapiers around the house... just in case he’s attacked by someone from the Renaissance. SMART.
7:00
Make Stuff Up Tuesday...
The Kanye West story is now being reported by the boys as real. You really need to lingerrrrrrr longerrrrrrrrr to keep up. Also being reported: Hillary Clinton says she won’t rule out choosing husband Bill as her running mate. Ok then.
Stupid Callers...
Ginger The Sow calls back in complaining that Ant is like a junior high school kid who suddenly gets money, citing his love for video games and guns. Piggy also thinks that Ant is going overboard with his whole home invasion paranoia. Ginger herself doesn’t need to worry about arming herself for protection... she would stun any home invaders by unleashing a cloud of lap yeast at them.
Frank The Fibber up in Boston says that when he was 21 he killed two people who were committing a home invasion in his parents’ house. Frank was lying, then blurted out how 9/11 was an inside job. Shut it, tool.
Lydia, a yenta and psychologist from Oceanside, calls in to be annoying and to say that Anthony is being too paranoid. She thinks he feels like he needs to protect himself since that treehouse "incident" with Richard. Does he? Plenty of home invasions occur in Nassau County where Ant lives... there were 1093 burglaries in that county last year. That's all the info Ant needs. On the subject of taking precautions to defend himself and his home Anthony says "I'm the wolf, not the sheep!"
Historical note: Eva used to call her main man "Wolf." Coincidence? I think not.
7:30
More talk about home invasions... Most listeners agree with Anthony about the need to be prepared against any eventuality.
Speaking of which...
What's this about the Ninja Burglar on Staten Island? Yeah, old news but our lil Sam took the audio of a news report about this and added beeps anytime they said "Ninja." VERY funny results.
Good job, Conglomerated Sam!
Cougars are on the prowl... In Kenya?
Women in their 50's and 60's are going to Kenya to have sexual relationships with young African men. The guys do it for the money, sunglasses, and other gifts. Here's the article. In it, Allie, a 64 year old British woman answered questions in a bar while nursing a cocktail and a very bruised set of tonsils. She seems to be having herself quite a time in Kenya with those endowed locals.
That sure is something. I'm not sure who I feel worse for.
A couple of Cougars call in saying that they grew tired of the relationships they had with their husbands and that they love younger guys. A few of those younger guys also phone in to talk about how the Cougars financially support some of them. A guy who was dumped by one of the women says he's down and out now that he's been thrown out of the fancy home he had been living in with her. Poor fella. Another guy reveals that when you're with an older gal you have to learn to deal with the "mush factor." Ok terrific!
8:00
Jared from NJ is 24 and his girlfriend is 42. He met her while she was undergoing treatment for breast cancer. He didn't think she'd live this long, but it's been 4 years now. She pretty much supports him and keeps him supplied with gifts. Not only did the woman have to undergo a double mastectomy, but also has a horrid looking c-section scar. O&A agree that any guys who are with Cougars with problems like this one have the worst job in the world and that they earn every one of the things they get from the sagging ladies.
A bunch more guys call in with their "Tales Of Cougars." Bronx Johnny, superstar from the Ron and Fez Show calls in and tells us that when you're making love to a Cougar, in a car, they tend to creek and crack. Wow. Johnny says he received some fitted hats and clothing for the services he rendered to his girlfriend's mother. Patrice asks him about the courtship process, thinking that the guys must go into these relationships because they are interested in the older women at first, then the gift giving and financial support is secondary. It all goes back to the way teens fantasize about being with an older woman, and if the guys end up getting some "stuff" from them besides sex, that's just a bonus.
A couple of guys call up about sleeping with their girlfriends' mothers. Patrice thinks that mothers must hate their daughters if they'll do that to them. I don't know about that, but something is certainly going on.
8:30
Annie, a 41 year old woman from NY, says she got hit on by a 70 year old guy the other day while on line at a store. She wants to know what's an appropriate aged guy for her to be with. Annie thinks that women who dump their husbands because they are bored with them and go after a younger guy are being irresponsible. According to this lunatic, "marriage is forever," yet she herself has never been married. Good for her. Annie says she regrets giving up getting married to have a career... she once had a chance to marry a fellow Greek, but he wanted her to spend her life in a small town in Greece.
Then she talks some more.
Chattery Annie won't shut up long enough to let any of the guys get a word in with her. She reveals that she's looking online for a man... and that she's been on 50 dates over the past year. She's a Cyber-Whore, but she would NOT go to Kenya for a large African gentleman. She's doing it all wrong... 50 dates but she hasn't had sex for 5 years. What the hell is wrong with her? When Annie goes out on dates it's usually just for coffee or tea somewhere in the neighborhood. She doesn't want her dates paying for dinner because she would feel like she owed them something afterwards, so it's only cheap dates for her.
She's a bit wacky, but Opie enjoys her style. Some guy named Mike called wanting to go out on a date with Annie, but she panics and hangs up. Ooh poo.
The show finishes with a couple of more tales of Cougardry then heads over to the other place.
We'll be back for more chuckles and titters tomorrow.
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
While down in Florida, Erock's parents sent him out to pick up a few gifts they just HAD to have. He had to get out there at 4AM to beat the rush... he didn't even bother going to sleep the night before. Why would you do that?
That morning Erock also was at Macys at 6AM to buy luggage... the airline destroyed his bag during his flight down to Florida for Thanksgiving. How nice of them.
Bob Kelly is in studio chattin' and chompin'. Li'l Jimmy Norton is off being fancy and busy someplace else... I hope he remembered the tarps this time.
O&A Sports Guys...
• The New England Patriots are now 11-0. Wow. Will they try to finish the season undefeated, or will they rest Tom Brady to save him for the playoffs? Speculate! I mean NOW, damn it!
• Danny and Erock tied for the lead in the football picks this past weekend. Opie went 5 for 7, thanks to Brother Elmo's picks. Not too shabby, but I think Op's still 9 wins behind the leader.
• Some guy calls in complaining that QB Eli Manning needs some work to make himself look a little tougher. Does he?
Ant says the new look for a lot of Black football players is to have dreadlocks hanging out the back of their helmets. It's a look.
6:30
The guys talk about "the teams everyone knows," such as the '86 Bears and the '86 Mets. Ooooh, sorreeee Blobby, that was the '85 Bears.
Opie remembers back when he was at 'BAB on Long Island and their softball team played against the remnants of the '69 Mets... one of the best remembered teams. For some reason, Tom Seaver decided to throw a pitch at Opie's head. Rude! One of Op's teammates decided to take revenge on Tom by getting a bit rough. Good boy. Screw Tom Seaver and Eff Jane Seymour. Whore!
The boys talk about online gaming and the idiots you may encounter there... such as Bob Kelly. Some guy calls in saying Bobby was acting like a general during a game they played together online. I bet he was more like Mayor McCheese... or perhaps even The Grimace. Opie enjoys Tiger Woods Golf and is very entertained by the ability to take "the nut shot."
Try it at home, kids!
7:00
Loudmouthed dullard Ginger calls in saying it's a "boring turn-off" to hear the guys talking about video games. Too bad, you yammering cow. Ginger is the type of gal who could use a good "Arbuckling." Oh Fatty... where are ya when we need ya? No, NOT YOU, Slob Kelly.
The boys give Ginger a stern talking to and mock the deceptive photos of herself she has online. She appears to have Nancy Reagan Syndrome... eyes waaaay too far apart.
Opie mentions that he was at the mall yesterday and didn't see one happy looking couple who had children. This gets Ant talking about how kids can totally ruin a relationship, not to mention your life itself. Op thinks that Anthony would make a good father but Ant doesn't feel the need to continue the family blood line. But Ant... you lost so many relatives during the last Soviet push into East Prussia!
7:30
Christmas annoys Opie...
This whole "shopping" thing is really old. Anthony says that in his family they do "Secret Santa"... imagine the look on the face of the lucky recipient of that wonderful Luftwaffe Dagger this year. I think they'll be able to figure out who their "Secret Santa" was.
It's all about gift cards now. Stupid Bob Kelly says that he read that last year $800 Billion in gift cards that will never be used were sold. The actual number is $8 Billion... still a lot but not quite as much, Tubby.
Now go home and get your lunchbox.
YAY!
More clips using those idiotic noises Steve C seems to make for some unknown reason. There are a couple of great ones. This is the same voice Steve uses when he's tapping on a car window saying "it's cold out here." Lingerrr longerrrr!
The "Shut Up" ringtone is all the rage in Spain. We don't care about it here in the US because we have Free Ringtone Monday Mania!!! A couple of months ago I got a nice Jim Norton ringtone, care of the show and Fred from Brooklyn who was both kind and annoying enough to send it to me.
The guys start talking about cell phones and the fact that they always have the latests phones in Europe months before we get them. Bobby doesn't care what type of phone he has, as long as he can dial DOMINOS.
Movie Chat? Ok. Fine...
Opie finally watched The Departed and thought it didn't quite live up to the hype. Bobby, who should star in "The Devoured" doesn't understand how Op couldn't like it. Bob also doesn't understand the concept of "portion control."
Anthony saw Oceans Thirteen over the weekend and says that Al Pacino is now nothing but a parody of himself. It's brought to our attention that Pacino has a problem with nail fungus and it's very distracting on screen once you notice it.
And away we go...
This gets the guys talking about other defects and distracting malformations that certain celebrities have.
Bob Kelly has a bellybutton so grossly misshapen it was used as a stunt double for the Bat Cave. Bobby also has babyback ribs... for breakfast. Mrrff err meh.
Anthony also has what some might see as a slight defect: His eye always looks to the Reich.
8:30
And now, a quick burst of news!
• A ship sank off Antarctica after striking an iceberg, or a piece of submerged ice, which made a fist-sized hole in the hull. The thing capsized and finally sank hours later. Everyone was rescued.
Pirates? In this day and age?
• You bet! But they're not like the pirates of olde... the ones these days speak that click-clack language and may lob off a piece of you for dinner. I don't think I'd enjoy that.
• A Boy Scout was suspended from school because he said he knew how to tie a noose. What overly sensitive bitches we are becoming.
What word was voted the FAVORITE of the British? If you guessed "Nincompoop" you're right. They need more hobbies over there.
Opiecrombie?
When Opie and his lovely fiancee were at the mall yesterday they were offered jobs at Abercrombie and Fitch... but Op thinks they were flattering him and only wanted to hire his girl.
I don't know why Opie would think that... isn't he just out of college?
IT'S FEEL GOOD STORY MONDAY!!! HOORAY!
A wheelchair bound woman was struck in the face by her husband. She had the nerve to try to serve him vegetable soup when he got home from work... so he hauled off and hit her. I guess sometimes you just wanna have a steak.
(ed. note: Is this Make Stuff Up Tuesday? I couldn't find this article anwheres. Hook me up with a link in the feedback if you know where to find it.)
We'll be back tomorrow. I think.
--------------------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics & edits by Joe C.
Posted: Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wednesday, Povember 21, 2007
It's WHIP 'EM OUT WEDNESDAY! Ladies, ladies, ladies... Get to work!
Happy Day Before Thanksgiving, Everybuddeh!
No Jimmy in studio this morning... he was in such a panic over having to take a 10 minute helicopter ride today he took the day off and decided to just drive himself.
Such a brave lad.
Doodleheads Rich Vos and Slob Kelly are in studio. Bob's got himself a bit of a cold and he's grumpy. Both idiots are in studio for today's "Dumb-Off". The cute but moronic Francine will be in a little later, as well. Can a single studio contain so much stupidity and not implode? We'll find out!
Bob Kelly says the fact that Vos THINKS he's smart makes him dumber than anyone. Bob at least knows he's not the brightest guy in the world... Rich stubbornly, and incorrectly, believes he's intelligent. Vos says that "to get where he's at" he can't be TOO dumb. Keep believing that, Richtard.
Opie says he got his "charming cheekbones" from his mother, just like Vos' honor roll daughters got their brains from their mother. Rich has NOTHING to do with his daughters' intelligence. No kidding. Perhaps they got their salivary glands from his side of the family, but let’s hope not.
How did the "Dumb-Off" idea come about? Part of it was Rich Vos' assertion last Wednesday that he has an IQ of 141. The boys played "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" with Vos... the answer turned out to be a totally unsurprising "NO!" Actually, it’s doubtful whether or not Rich is as smart as a fifth grader’s bowel movement.
We know he’s slightly less useful.
Let's not forget! It's WAKE UP YOUR SPOUSE WEDNESDAY!
6:30 Up! Up! And Oy-Vey!!
Opie and Anthony are telling the idiot Vos about The "Hitler Balloon" being in the parade tomorrow. He buys it. Rich says that as far as leaders go, Hitler was one of the big ones. Was Vos giving Hitler respect? He says NO and that he's a "Militant Jew." Right. I assume he means “Ignorant” Jew.
The simpleton starts talking about his "Jew Power" and that quickly gets the boys into giving him a nice verbal beating. Unfortunately it didn’t go from a verbal to a physical beating. Maybe next time.
John in Cleveland calls in to wake up his roommate by throwing cold water on him. Instead of putting the phone next to the guy he keeps it on his own ear. Well, now we can’t hear the reaction of his roomie. But... that was the whole point of this. The call totally STINKS. Better luck next time, fella.
The Good Doctor...
The doctor of Kanye West’s mother was on Larry King last night. As you may recall, Kanye’s mom died following some type of cosmetic surgery.
But first!
Some guy named Spiro is gonna wake up his friend sitting next to him in his truck by slamming on the brakes and screaming as though they’re about to be in an accident.
Kinda like this...
Well, it went better than the last call. C+
Back to the doctor...
Dr. Adams went on Larry King Live and it seems he has an agenda to get the word out that he “supports” the West family. He goes on to say that he wants to respect the family’s wishes…
Ant points out that the family’s MAIN wish was probably that he didn’t kill their mother. The guy will not talk about the incident, which pretty much leaves him nothing to talk about with Larry. Riveting.
7:00
Neil Diamond has revealed that he wrote his hit song “Sweet Caroline” after seeing a picture of the then 10 year old Caroline Kennedy standing with a horse. This revelation gets Anthony on quite the roll---he’s famous for his Neil Diamond impersonation at many of the fan events. Oh, the inappropriate song titles and lyrics just pour in. “Forever in Diapers”, “Turn On Your Nightlight”, etc...
Delightful.
Some guy calls in wanting to Anthony to give him some German words he can yell at his girl to wake her up. Ant hasn’t felt comfortable speaking German in public since the war ended and he declines to help. Anyway, they guy yells something about Lederhosen at her and it’s pretty funny. It’s the best one of the day. Ok then.
7:30
Never-To-Be-President Barak Obama had admitted to having messed around with drugs a bit as a young man. Not only did he smoke pot, but he indulged in cocaine as well. Opie thinks that in this day and age it’s ok for a candidate to have messed around a bit. Good for him. I think Obama’s very creepy looking, and Jimmy’s right about his lips looking frostbitten. There are a few factors that will keep him from becoming president… not least of which is his name. He is still yet to prove he’s not actually Chemical Ali in disguise. Someone investigate!
Ant says that one time Obama was babysitting and he was high on marijuana…the parents had asked him to put a turkey in the oven but he was so stoned that... etc. You know the story. Anyway, Op decides that he wants EVERYONE to Google the phrase “Baby in oven” so we can make it the most popular search of the day. DO IT!
The Dumb-Off contestants review their educational backgrounds. Bob spent 3 years in HS in a “rubber room” class... basically a weight room and dodgeball area... but he finally attended college for a while. Vos trained as a lawnmower repairman. I wish he had gotten sucked into one while it was running. Francine said she went to a private school, but I believe she meant she had something else “private” schooled... probably by an uncle.
Vos blurts out the name “Guanamo Bay” when Guantanamo is referenced. Francine was under the impression they were talking about the song “Guantanamera.”
Someone shoot them both.
And we begin…
Planet Of The Dopes...
First Question: Which is the closest planet to the sun? Bob: Earth Rich: Jupiter Francine: Uranus
Each one is an idiot. The answer is MERCURY. All three of them belong on the planet Dumbo.
8:00
Blob Kelly thinks that Francine should grow her hair out into an afro because he finds it sexy. Bob also finds 6 foot heroes sexy, so shut it, tubby.
BACK TO THE DUMB-OFF!
The Eternal Idiots... Question: What is the capital of Italy? Bob: Rome
Rich: Naples... He answered that because he overheard someone say “Rome” during the break, but the guy covered up by switching his answer. Rich cheated and got caught. Francine: Spain. Spain is the capital of Italy. That’s right. Spain. The correct answer is ROME.
Teddy Boobs... Finish the following quote from Theodore Roosevelt: “Talk softly and carry a big _____”. Personally, I thought the quote was “WALK softly etc...” Rich: Stick
Bob: Stick Francine: Gun The correct answer is STICK.
Star Schmucks...
Question: How many planets in our solar system? Francine: 9 or 11... she settles on 9, which is correct. Bob: 7 Rich: 7
The correct answer is actually 8. No more Pluto. A Confederacy Of Dunces... Question: The slaves were freed during which war? Bob: The Civil War
Rich: The Civil War Francine: The Civil Revolutionary War Oh dear. Poor stupid girl. The answer is, of course, THE CIVIL WAR.
Hello Dummy! Question: Who was the first man to walk on the moon? Francine: Louis Armstrong Rich: Neil Armstrong
Bob: Neil Armstrong The correct answer is NEIL ARMSTRONG.
He’s appearing Thanksgiving and Sunday at Caroline’s in NYC. He really must need money.
Opie’s football picks... Sponsored by Dish Network... and provided, once again, by Brother Elmo.
Cowboys over Jets Lions over Packers
Colts over Falcons Giants over Vikings Patriots over Eagles Jaguars over Bills Saints over Panthers
I am very bored by football.
Blub Kelly, who is pissed there are so many questions about space, thinks that Opie and Anthony themselves should have to answer a few questions. Opie points out that he was smart enough to NOT get involved in this stupid contest. See? He IS smart and you’re dumb, Bob. That’s in case you still had any lingering doubts in your weak mind.
Back to the contest...
Rocket Surgery... Question: In the name of the agency known as NASA, what does the 2nd A stand for?
Bob: No answer. He was too busy contemplating lunch. Rich: America Francine: Association The REAL answer? ADMINISTRATION
New York State Of Mindless... Question: What was NYC known as in the year 1626? Vos: “Whaddaya mean ‘What was it known as?' Do you mean like for travel agents? What the hell is the matter with him?" And now the answers:
Francine: Pennsylvania Rich: Melting Pot Bob:New Amsterdam Only Bob was correct, but he’s still a chubby dolt.
Vos argues over Anthony’s phrasing of the question, especially the words “known as” instead of “called.” Shut up, douche.
I’d like to buy a drool... Question: In the federal agency known as the CIA, what does the “I” stand for? Rich: Intelligence
Francine: Intelligence Bob: Internal… He cheated, he blurted out “Intelligence” after everyone else answered it, but “Internal” was spotted written on his answer sheet. The Real answer... INTELLIGENCE.
Did you hear that, you imbecile? Question: Which pilot was the first to achieve supersonic flight? Clueless Francine asks, “How do you measure sound?” How do YOU find the light switch, puddin’ head? The Answers... Rich: A very proud man.
Bob: Buzz Aldrin Francine: Albert Einstein. Wow. The correct answer is CHUCK YEAGER.
The Big Yellow One... Question: In which galaxy is our sun located? Bob: Milky Way Francine: Universe
Rich: Solar System Turn it off…turn it off….TURN IT OFF!!! Milky Way. That’s enough.
The Final Scores:
Fat Bob Kelly with 5 correct... Dumbest Jew EVER, Rich Vos with 4 correct... Sweet but brainless Francine with 2 correct.
FRANCINE WINS! She is the dumbest contestant today. How nice for her. I am actually stunned at how stupid all three of them are but I enjoyed the contest immensely. A very nice way to get ready for the holiday.
The Opie and Anthony Show will be back live on Monday. Tune in to hear more silliness!
Happy Thanksgiving!
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore
Posted: Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Happy Tuesday Kids...
Here's your weekly Cokelogic animation.
Why is Vos so dumb?
6:00
It's A Tuesday Of DESTINY! It is? Hmmmm.
More importantly... Opie needs a new winter coat! Can't he send Club Soda Kenny to pick him out something nice? He threw away his winter coat back in May because it was getting a bit ratty. Good luck finding one now! Ant, on the other hand, never cares what his winter coat looks like... as long as it's warm.
I guess that winter in Stalingrad taught him a thing or two. Smart.
K-Rock has put an extra Paltalk camera in their air studio that only THEY can control. Opie hates the camera because the boys have no ability to control it themselves and he admits it's a problem when someone is watching and he wants to occasionally have a dig at one of hi
