that many people think the place should be shut down. A lot of them were built back during the days when
women wore those awful one piece bathing outfits that exposed nothing but the lower arms and maybe the ankles.
Men sure knew how to keep a broad in line back then.
Ahhh...the good old days!
---------------------
So... what was with that whole "Red Alert" thing? Well, because of what's being described as a "clerical error", the boys
have not been paid by XM in TWO MONTHS! (Hey! Just like my gig with CBS!) PLUS, today is the day that XM decides if they're going to
pick up the show for its one year option.
Well then.
-----------------------
Daredevil Opie?
Saturday night Op and his lovely fiancée were heading down 57th street in Manhattan when they spotted a huge construction crane across
the way. For some reason, Op decided that he'd love to climb up the 25 storeys to the top and have a little look-see at what-what. The
brains of the outfit, his girl, decided that perhaps that wouldn't be the best course of action and stopped our pal from making the climb.
Stay on the ground, silly.
6:30
Splat!
How 'bout that beautiful, 20-year-old model Ruslana Korshunova from Kazakhstan? She plunged 9 floors to her death over the weekend in what the police are labeling a
suicide.
Tragic.
Gravity ended up taking its toll on her breasts WAY too soon. Her agent is said to be VERY angry with her for spreading herself way too
thin... all over Water Street in NYC.
Mrrff err meh!! Ecccchhhhhh
---------------
Sam! This is a slide!
I think it's been used for MURDERRRR!
SOMEHOW the guys get on the subject of "Quincy" and his classically awful encounter with the supposed "punk rock" group.
Amazing.
Are those kids really society's "ecscape goats"?
------------------------
Hey! Wha' Happened?
Somehow Scott Shannon has turned into Rocky Dennis.
The new ratings came out yesterday and they were amazing. Thank you, Boston!!
Achtung! Achtung! We are still in RED ALERT MODE!
This is all about something going on Monday that will directly effect the Opie and Anthony Radio P'og'am. PREPARE YOURSELVES!
Fancy Is As Tony Does
Yesterday Anthony went out and bought an Armani suit so he could attend a Wall Street party held by "Bulls and Bears", a show on the Fox Financial Network. Where was it held? In the Waldorf Astoria Hotel.
By the way... where is Akeem?
Idiot
Someone in Kentucky calls in to say he actually saw the show yesterday (why is someone in Kentucky watching a financial show?) and spotted Anthony all pale but dolled up in his fancy new suit alongside a lusciously tanned Jill Nicolini, who the caller says looked much hotter than the show's host Rebecca Gomez.
Not bad, but she is definately no Jill
Who was the big celebrity at the party? The cowboy from the Village People. Wow.
6:30 Waterfools...
There is some kind of art project going on in NYC: Fake waterfalls. WHY?
Anthony hates them, of course. The boys remember those moronic orange cloth "gates" that went up in Central Park a couple of years ago.
What's the point?
Anthony thinks the waterfalls look like sewage treatment plants. Sort of fitting for NYC, I think.
Shea No More
...and STAY out!
ANOTHER thing going on in NYC is the Subway Series between the Mets and Yankees. Both teams are getting new stadiums, so this will be the last "traditional" subway series.
Some people (the CW11) are taking this way too seriously and are running overly dramatic commercials marking the event. In case you've never seen it, the CW11 News looks sort of like a middle school play with teleprompters.
"All due respect".
Tonight Jill will be hosting an event at the ESPN Zone to mark the final subway series. Of course, our own Herr Von Cumia will be there. Of course he will.
Danny has a wonderful memory of Shea Stadium: The time he switched hands with Op's lovely fiancee and walked out hand and hand with Gregg "Opie" Hughes, much to the latter's chagrin. I wonder if Op's palm smelled like an everything bagel after that. LINGERRR 2 DAYS LONGERRRR!!!
Op and Danny share a moment.
Oh, and DON'T WORRY! The huge "Home Run Apple" WILL be moved by the Mets to their new stadium.
How nice for the big stupid apple.
7:00
It's ten years later and O&A still can't do any sort of event up in Boston because that city's stupid mushmouthed jackass of a mayor, Tom "Mumbling Grudge Holder" Menino can't let go of the fact that the guys said he had be killed in an accident on April Fools Day.
Ant brings up and old bit of Louis' where he talks about when you have no money the bank will charge you for not having enough in your account, but when you have a lot of money the bank rewards you with interest. Wacky!
SMART!
Louis is engaged to be divorced, and recommends getting a mediator to work things out between spouses instead of hiring lawyers who will make you fight it out so they can make as much money off your misery as possible. Anthony, recalling HIS divorce, says that a lawyer will really make you hate your ex. He's still feeling the financial sting from that disaster of a marriage/divorce.
UGH!
Some awful woman is starting an internet campaign against a store that denied her 5 year old daughter access to their bathroom. The kid, who had diarrhea, ended up having a "massive accident" and now the woman who owns the store (she was not there at the time) is getting anonymous threats. The Health Department does not allow customers to use bathrooms meant for employees in stores where food is served.
Why the hell was the mother out with her daughter if the kid was throwin' mud?
Now the rotten mom is writing a Blog blasting the store and encouraging people to boycott. Stop writing the Blog and get an effin' job, Clump!
----------------
Louis C.K. will be at the State Theater in New Brunswick, NJ tonight.
Call 732-246-SHOW for tickets and information. Go see him!!
----------------
7:40
Opie talks again about Menino needing to let it go. The guys want to bring the next Opie and Anthony Animation Festival up to Boston, but they can't book the venue they want due to the grumpy mayor's meddling.
Divorce Talk
Louis and Anthony discuss their ex-wives and how the guys were always being accused of being non-attentive. Louis says that with his ex, no matter what he did, he could never build up any sort of "equity". As soon as he did something SHE deemed not good enough she would forget about all the good things he did for her. Disgusting.
I wonder if Louis ever got to the point where he was giving thought to where he could best hide the body.
Can I interest you in a shallow grave?
--------------
Opie plays audio of them getting ambushed by reporters up in Boston after the "mayor is dead" prank. The clips don't show the boys to be even slightly sorry, although they do issue an apology of sorts. I'd post a clip here but the only version I could find has Steve C.'s ridiculous watermarks all over it and links to pr0n sites. Good job.
The mayor did not accept the apology. With his ridiculous manner of speech, Menino always sounds like he's in the middle of a minor stroke.
Menino
Him talks clearly.
8:00
Movie News...
• The new Pixar animation "Wall-E" opens today. It's getting 90% positive reviews on RottenTomatoes.
Ok then.
• Eddie "I Used To Be Funny" Murphy has a new crapfest called "Meet Dave" coming out that's being promoted as "Eddie Murphy IN Eddie Murphy". What? Watch the trailer and hate.
Oh no.
Say what you will about Eddie Murphy being washed up, but we all still know that his girl likes to party all the time.
Does she?
Oh Great...
Grand Theft Auto is in the news after six teens, supposedly inspired by the game, went on a crime spree in Nassau County, NY. The kids range in age from 14-18. Danny points out that GTA IV is rated "M", and half the kids shouldn't have even had access to it. Of course there will be some sort of lawsuit.
Oh Dear Lord!
The one and only Big-A
Op plays audio of Dr. Steve giving Big-A the old pokey-finger prostate exam last Friday over at "the other place". What awful images it conjures up. That's all I'm saying on the subject.
8:30
Opie gives us all an update on his brother Brett, who underwent a bunch of surgery 10 days ago to remove his tonsils, split his uvula, and rebreak and set his nose, all in the hopes of improving his breathing.
Ol' Scrote Throat?
The guy is still in all sorts of pain, but luckily he's finally starting to feel a little better. Brett is a great guy and an amazing chef. Check out his restaurant, FH Riley's, this Saturday night where there will be a nice little fan gathering.
The location? 400 New York Avenue in the heart of Huntington Village. BE THERE.
Anthony is VERY happy about this, saying that now law abiding citizens can defend themselves against the criminal element. Of course, Ant realizes that gun owners need to be very responsible and he says he's always very cautious with his guns.
Opie, on the other hand, says that he's too clumsy to be a gun owner and Ant brings up an actor who was also irresponsible when it came to a gun.
Jon-Erik Hexum was the star of the NBC science fiction series "Voyagers!". One day he took a handgun filled with blanks and shot himself with the gun right up to his temple. The blast from the discharge sent a chunk of his skull ripping into his brain, killing him.
Not the best career move.
--------------------
The guys finish up the show discussing the constitutional right to own guns. Ant and Louis feel that the constitution is very important and that it shouldn't be constantly changed depending on the current mood of the country.
Jimmy thinks the constitution is over rated. This comes from a man who lets himself be used as a tranny toilet target.
That's it for this week, folks. We'll be back Monday for more hijinx.
Add me as a friend on MySpace to show that you'd like the United States to stop sending ANY money to other nations. Even allies.
By the way... TEN DUMPS today for Louis CK. Wow.
Someone get an icepack for Jivin's finger.
---------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Other stuff, Joe
Posted: Thursday, June 26, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
It's Thursdee! Li'l Jimmy is back!
Be aware: The Opie and Anthony Show is in RED ALERT MODE. Be prepared to quit your job when the guys tell you to! More details some other time!
6:00
Hollywood Jimbo
Jimmy had himself a great time being a judge on the new Gong Show out in L.A. He tells us a story about Ron White, one of the other judges, wanting to smoke his cigar on the set, since the producers had actually secured a permit for host Dave Attell to smoke, but the other guy wasn't allowed to. Then one of the contestants burned his pogo stick as a part of his act. THAT was ok, but smoking a cigar wasn't.
That's probably because a burning pogo stick smells better than a burning cigar.
Mr. White? Please put that out and come with us.
--------------------
By the way... that whole "10th Anniversary" of O&A debuting on NYC radio that Opie announced yesterday, which was supposed to happen tomorrow... Well, the anniversary was actually YESTERDAY.
OK TERRIFIC!
People call in worried about what "Red Alert Mode" means. SPECULATE AND FEAR!
A Trip Down Memory Lame
The guys have audio from their first day in NYC radio back at WNEW. Opie sure had some sort of mellow delivery thing going on, and also sounds like he hadn't quite given up on the old Spuds Buckley character back at that time.
Wow. The audio wss precious.
Opie took some pix of the old studio they used at the time. Not quite as fancy back then.
"'Toof!'Like what I'm showin' ya wif mah fingums! I gots a TOOF ache!"
Did Reverend Ass Sharpton say Anderson Cooper was going to hell because he's gay on the guy's show last night? Well, sort of. He said Anderson is going to hell because of what he does in his personal life... which is a VERY thinly veiled reference to Cooper being gay. Oh Al. That's just not nice, you ugly piece of garbage.
I don't think ol' Anderson liked that one little bit.
Back to the WNEW Audio!
We get to hear a clip of the first time Anthony did his "Dice" impression on the air in NYC. I'm not sure if it was meant to be Andrew "Dice" Clay or Vinny "The Chin" Gigante.
Which is it, Tony?
Lunatic?
Or other lunatic?
-----------------
Woodstock
More 'NEW chatter, including a "joke" Opie made about the upcoming "Woodstock '98" festival where he said that people wouldn't have to worry about the brown acid... just the brown VIAGRA.
You see? Because they are old now.
I get it.
-----------------------
Listening to this audio the guys wonder what ever happened to the naughty boys who were on the air up in Boston. Their first day on 'NEW they were just two happy pals just lovin' life and thrilled to be in NYC. That's understandable, I suppose... but a bit cringy to hear now. I'm glad they actually played the audio and gave us a bit of the old stuff.
Speaking of "giving a bit of the old stuff"...
I wonder how Ant is doing with Jill. Mrrff err meh!
Cash Cab
Jimmy mentions Ben Bailey, the comic who hosts the game show "Cash Cab", and says he's really blowing up because of all the buzz around his show, which recently won an emmy. Jimmy's only problem with Cash Cab is that he can never answer the questions correctly. Poor fella.
7:00
More 'NEW Audio!
Ant was laughing at everyone, everything, all the time. How cute.
Instant Faxback? 'NEW sure was modern!
In the audio Op reads a FAX of encouragement from WNEW jock Dave Herman, who ended up suing the guys for millions of dollars. How cutting edge!
Dave "Douche Hat" Herman. He's suing, damn it!
On the tape Ant talks about Scott Muni having a little conversation with the obviously thrilled fella, and the boys were impressed with him partially because he has a photo of himself taken with Keith Moon.
"How many people have THAT?", asked Opie. Tens of thousands.
Years after this audio was recorded it ended up leading to Anthony standing on a corner in NYC wearing a Nazi helmet hailing a cab to see if he could get one before a Black man (the very entertaining Patrice O'Neal).
Good times. Search it out yourselves. It's naughty.
7:45
More Old Audio!
We hear Opie say that back in '92 you couldn't go anywhere without hearing "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" by the Spin Doctors. It was a "Summer Song" like "Come On Eileen". Was it?
Hey guys! How hot was it in NYC that day? It was SO hot that the Big Apple was becoming "The Baked Apple".
Right.
It was SO hot that Opie wanted to reach for a "Wobbly Pop", which is not only a beer, but the name Dick Clark's grandkids call the unstable codger.
"Dappy dew dear!" Shut it, Strokey.
8:20
We're Still in RED ALERT MODE... Be ready, people!
Don't forget! The Opie and Anthony Traveling Virus rolls into the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel NJ on August 2nd. 1000 $10 lawn tickets will go on sale tomorrow morning through Ticket Master. FANCY!
What's Going On in the World?
"So... you came here for Ssslecks"
This story has Jim HEATED: The NBC hit TV show hosted by Chris Hansen, "To Catch A Predator", is finished, even though it was doing great in the ratings. Lawyers killed it after one of the people caught in a sting (a lawyer) shot and killed himself. Now NBC has settled with the guy's family and folded up their tent. Amazing. Now a lot of states that had guys up on charges resulting from the show have dropped them.
Some guy named Greg calls in saying that Norton sounds like he's for "Big Government" and Jimmy lets the guy have it, but good. He says the guy is a Libertarian douche who is defending pedophiles.
8:40
This is not photoshopped... Nice hair, Larry.
This is...
Remember that story about Motley Crue being on Larry King the other night? The guys wondered why they didn't mess around with Larry a bit instead of letting him just do his usual crap interview.
Eccccchhh
Well, maybe the group took O&A's advice, because last night on Greta Van Susteren's show one of them asked her what color panties she was wearing. She was so flummoxed she had no idea how to respond.
By the way, Greta... nice facial reconstruction. It looks totally natural.
Wait. No it doesn't.
----------------------
Someone calls in to defend the Libertarian cause, saying that the guy who argued with Jimmy sounded like an extremist. He explains that the Libertarian party is simply for the government staying out of peoples' private lives, but for them maintaining law, order, and the military.
A few people call in to discuss the concept of "entrapment" as it related to the "To Catch A Predator" show.
And that's how we ended today.
We'll get back to the yuck-yucks tomorrow, kids... have no fear!
Opie wishes he had some time after each show to bask in the glory of the fine entertainment they provided the listeners that day, before having to start planning out what they were going to do for the next day's radio gold.
Letterman? PFEH!
Leno? Don't even!
Those are one hour shows. HACKS! That's nothing. O&A do 5 hours + every day. Who the hell decided that this type of radio show has to be at least 4 hours long?
Casey Kasem is another one. He plays a few crappy records and reads a letter about a dead dog. Now give him his millions.
Casey Kasem wearing what appears to be an asshat
Don Imus has to come up with about 4 hours of content, much the same way O&A have to. A year or so ago he made his famous "nappy" comment and got fired. It was about ONE SECOND of audio out of 4 hours in which he was trying to entertain his audience and yet he was fired.
Effing crazy and pathetic. What a bunch of hypersensitive bitches we've become in this country.
---------------
Patrice says that having an audience and being seen is something O&A don't have to deal with the same way Leno or Letterman have to; however, on Fridays the guys invite listeners into the studio over at "the other place" to watch the show live. Patrice hates that and also hates the fact that fans/detractors can so easily get in contact with him to spew off their sometimes insulting opinions that sometimes make him feel bad.
Even back in the old days Clark Gable got fan mail, and I'm sure not all of it was good.
"Dear Mr Gable, I am writing to tell you that you are a festering pile of dog crap..."
10 Friggin' Years!
This Friday marks the 10th anniversary of Opie and Anthony bringing their radio show to the airwaves in NYC over at WNEW. They started out playing music, then at some point decided they were just going to talk. A lot of that was due to the fact that they couldn't stand the music 'NEW played: it was crappy and nobody cared about it. Management didn't really care since the ratings for the show weren't that good. Once they started talking and not playing music the ratings started going up.
At one point the guys decided that Bruce Springsteen's CDs were the enemy and the entire catalog was repeatedly either given away on the street or smashed to bits. This was pretty smart: since they no longer had that music to play, they would have to fill the time the song would've been heard with talk and their li'l bits. NICE!
The WNEW days More hair / Less Jill
Patrice wonders if there were any bits that could've gotten the boys fired before Sex For Sam III. Opie says that none of them should've gotten them fired at the time, but he realizes that a lot of those bits they once were able to do on the air would get them fired today.
"T&A with O&A" (up in Buffalo) is a prime example... and that wasn't even on the air! What about "The Voyeur Bus"? You know, some of the classics. Today the rules have changed and the guys know that trying to pull off any of these old gags would probably result in a firing. At least they're TRYING to be smart now.
I said "trying".
By the way... Opie wants a HUGE CELEBRATION on Friday to mark the 10th anniversary of their debut on the airwaves of NYC. It better not be a stupid cake and "B" List celebrities.
"A" List ONLY!!! Ya hear? I hear ya!
This just won't do.
6:40
Welcome to The FUTURE!
Over in amazingly wealthy Dubai they are constructing a new building that features rotating floors which spin independantly of each other so the residents can have a changing view. There is so much construction going on in that city that 25% of the world's cranes are located in that city. DAYUM!
They also have a habit of making islands out of reclaimed land...
How much friggin' money do they have over there?
I guess that oil must be worth a few bucks.
Perhaps more than that, gentlemen!
Check out this little clip about Dubai construction
• Coldplay has sold 720,000 copies of their cd in the first week of release, yet the music industry is complaining about slow sales. Shut it.
• A mayo commercial in the UK has been pulled from the airwaves because some people complained that its depiction of affectionate gays was upsetting them. Anthony can't figure out why people would even give a rat's ass over that sort of thing. Opie is proud that Ant has a surprisingly new attitude, since he figured he'd go the exact opposite way. It seems that since Ant has Jill Nicolini to occupy his mind and groin he could not care any less about what sort of shenanigans the gays are getting up to.
Here's the ad:
Well then
---------------
Moving on, Patrice complains (big surprise there) that Anthony has never called or emailed him. Ant says that he's friendly with Patrice, but perhaps it's the cultural differences that keep them from becoming close. There are just some things Ant cannot relate to.
No S***.
7:10
Shaq WAS an honorary deputy but got his badge taken away because he used "the N-word" in a freestyle rap destroying Kobe Bryant. Shaq claims he was only joking, but Patrice says that's a lie and the rap was a personal and funny attack. In the freestyle Shaq asks Kobe how his BEEP tastes.
Here's the video. Oh dear. (ed. note: Shaq is not only a pottymouth, but he's also really, really bad at hip hop. You've been warned.)
---------------
Oh goody! Patrice's watermelon has arrived!! What a tasty treat! It even matches his shirt. Interesting.
---------------
The guys figure out that Shaq was with Kobe's girl first, and that's why he's asking him how things taste.
Rude and rude!
7:40
On "The Today Show" Opie saw some young idiot who had his arm chewed off by an alligator after diving into the wrong body of water. The guy is up there acting like he did some sort of heroic thing. If he was such a hero he would've wrestled and killed the alligator with his remaining arm instead of having authorities kill the creature for just doing what it's supposed to do: eat whatever the hell it can sink it's awful teeth into.
Fun Fact: The only thing with more deadly bacteria oozing out of it than the teeth of an alligator is the clump of Sandy Kane.
Patrice talks about the whole Imus/Pacman thing, and how he was sickened by Pacman implying that he feels Imus should be fired because his feelings were hurt by him. That statement came despite the fact that Pacman has been up to plenty of no good for the past couple of years, including his crew shooting someone dead and he himself slapping a stripper across the face when she reached for him.
Patrice says "STOP, PACMAN!" You're going to "pray for Imus"? Yeccccchhh. You're not a victim here, stupid.
To check out what this piece of garbage that calls itself "Pacman" has been up to, click here.
Imus has already done enough apologizing and Patrice wants to know where the hell the statements of support were from the two Black people who are part of Imus' staff. They just let him dangle in the breeze instead of doing the job that they were hired to do: make Imus look like he's not a racist.
"Some of my best friends are Negroes. Did I say something wrong?"
"Do I have something on my face? Is it skin?"
Patrice also talks about Whitey as having melanoma faces, which leads the guys to Ol' Cancer Face John McCain. Ant says that doctors have removed so much melanoma from that guy's pink face that they must look at him as if he's an old turkey carcass. That's some image.
Mr. McCain? Comment?
8:00
Anthony now has a reason for not voting for Obama: In "Back To The Future" the town was a wonderful place... until the black fella, Goldie Wilson, took over and turned it into a run-down disaster.
"Mayor Goldie Wilson... I like the sound of that!"
Patrice wants to know why Ant's so scared of having Obama as president. What sort of damage could he do in the couple of years he would actually matter? Enough to make Anthony nervous.
Ant doesn't like the idea one little bit.
According to Patrice, white people can handle sassy black women. Everybody loves them. Ant counters saying that white people like to see those sassy gals on TV or in movies ONLY.
NOT IN REAL LIFE!!
In another example, Patrice says that there are no intimidating black men in sitcoms, and Ant agrees but says that every white guy on TV has been emasculated. Patrice isn't convinced that's an inaccurate depiction, since he feels that it's really the way white men are. It's this reason, according to Patrice, that white guys finally get so upset with their wives that they have to kill them.
More race debate. What a surprise!
8:35
Club Soda Kenny brings his unique perspective to the traffic and weather report. It doesn't go over as well as he'd like, so he cuts out about 4 of the items from his read, then tries to blame his failure on the writers. The guys in the back room write it, then Kenny comes on air and wrongs it. Mrrff errr meh!
Kenny tries to prove that he doesn't need a script to be funny. Well, at least he tried.
Because of this showing... Traffic and Weather with Club Soda Kenny will no longer be heard.
"I guess I'll be seeyin' ya around. Dank you for your time."
----------------
Patrice O'Neal will be at the Houston Improv July 4th, 5th, and 6th. Go check him out!!
Opie went to see Patrice very recently at Comix in NYC and says that he totally killed. During his set, Patrice now sits on a stool the whole time. According to him, he started doing that out of depression because he felt he had to just sit down to do his act, and now it's just what he does. Despite that, Opie says that Patrice was still able to keep the crowd in the palm of his hand.
Well, no wonder
Because they're so used to just interacting on the show, when Patrice's set was done, instead of Patrice and his girl getting together with Op and The Philly Crew for some dinner, they awkwardly hugged and said their thank you's before heading their separate ways. Perhaps next time they'll get it right? Probably not.
Anthony was down at Atlantis in the Bahamas over the weekend, staying at a place called "The Cove". It's too bad there was a casino there (they even had blackjack right at the pool!) because Ant lost big time. No matter what he did he just couldn't win. It could be that fate figures its given Ant enough breaks for the moment after setting Ant up with Jill Nicolini. Stay away from the gambling tables for awhile, Herr Cumia. No sense pressing your luck.
Swimmin' and gamblin'. What a life!
Has the new girlfriend changed Anthony in any way? Patrice says that although Anthony pretends to still be one of the guys he's made a turn onto "Better Than You" Street.
Not only was the setting nice to look at down at Atlantis, but there were tons of young women there drinking and getting up to all sorts of shenanigans that Anthony loved observing.
The guys all discuss Carlin a bit. Patrice says that George, along with Richard Pryor were the funniest comedians he ever saw live, but he gives the slight edge to Pryor. I don't. Either way, both guys were amazingly funny, both on stage and off. Opie says that there are some comedians who may have a funny act, but just aren't funny in person. George Carlin was a funny man no matter what.
Oh, Imus!
Don Imus is in hot water AGAIN following a comment he made on his show yesterday about NFL star Pacman Jones. When Imus was told that Jones had been arrested 6 times he asked what color the guy is. When he was told he was Black, Imus replied, "There ya go".
It sounded like Imus was being sarcastic in his comments leading up to that one, but of course some people will take it as a terrible racist slip up. Imus claims that he said what he did meaning that Jones has been arrested because he's been targeted for being Black.
Pacman is Black? I didn't notice because I don't see race. mrrff err meh!
------------------
Anthony thinks that since we have a Black Democrat running for the White House, that nothing like this should matter anymore. It's all old hat and water under the bridge. Patrice doesn't quite see it that way, but doesn't bite quite the way we would imagine.
Channeling the character of Imus, Anthony makes much better use of the bleep than Don himself. Hysterical. Maybe Ant can give him a lesson or two.
PLUGOLA!
Patrice will be at the Houston Improv July 4, 5, and 6th. Go check him out. The guy is really funny live. And don't worry. He rarely bites members of the audience.
7:00
Enough!
Since O&A decided to take yesterday off there have been some people on the message boards complaining. Op says he doesn't get that, since they really don't take that much vacation time... unlike certain other big radio shows. I won't mention Howard specifically. Of course, next week the guys will be off Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday for the 4th Of July. How do ya like them apples?
Memories
The guys discuss "Homeless Charlie", whose comments about certain female world leaders and dignitaries got the boys suspended for 30 days over at XM.
Ridiculous.
They were just letting a homeless guy rant to let people see what was going on inside his head. Opie saw him as sort of a homeless Richard Pryor. The guy was really funny, but people took his comments out of context and got the show into trouble. Asshats.
But anyway, since that time ol' Homeless Charlie has disappeared. What has the CIA done with him? SPECULATE!
Onto a similar subject...
The malodorous Tippy Tom made an appearance over at "the other place" on Friday. Anthony had to leave the show early that day to go off globe trotting with the lovely Jill Nicolini and Opie was cruel enough to sit Tom at Ant's place in the studio.
Well, you can throw away THAT whistle
Bear in mind that Anthony finds Tom incredibly disgusting and doesn't like to be anywhere near him... let alone having him sit in his personal chair and use his equipment in the studio. Knowing all this, as soon as Ant's out of the studio Opie decides to make Tom "Turd Mic".
Tom may be very smelly, but he's pretty damn funny. He's what we call a steaming pile of wit. A-ZING!
Stoned and Chatty
Tara the Boring Clump calls in after a night of Heinekens and cocaine. She can't understand why she can't seem to land a nice guy. Maybe it's because even though she's drunk and coked up she's still dull and wants to work in the mortuary industry.
What a catch! Take a hike, Toots.
7:40
Over the weekend WNBA "star" Candace Parker became only the second woman player in the league to slam dunk. Patrice thinks she's a cutie, but Anthony says the 6 foot 4 inch basketball player looks too much like a guy. Because of this statement, Patrice says that Anthony is SO racist he can't find ANY Black woman hot... but Ant says that's just not true. He's just attracted to certain types of women.
A heated discussion ensues. Patrice and Opie list a bunch of Black women just trying to find one that Anthony finds attractive.
They fail.
--------------------
Halle Berry? Nope!
Stacy Dash?
No sir!
Angela Basset (Hound)? Not a chance! Tracy Bingham? Let's just drop it.
8:20
Opie asks Ant if he would leave Jill if he checked her family tree and found a li'l Black blood in her past. Ant just giggles. The guys once again try to name a Black girl Anthony might find attractive. What about a nice Brazilian girl:
Adriana Lima? Oh, Ant would certainly find the time for her.
Patrice says he would actually smother his girlfriend to death with a pillow to be with Adriana.
That's the spirit!
New Imus Audio
Today Imus explained what he meant by his comments yesterday, saying that he was implying that Pacman Jones was being targeted for arrest because he's Black.
It's obvious Imus is trying to save his job (which he shouldn't even have to). It's the most pathetic case of "Blackpeddling" I've ever heard.
This just in:
Imus has asked to be buried next to Dog The Bounty Hunter in that slave cemetery. LINGERRRR LONGERRRRR!!!
8:45
We're running out of show! And just so you know, Jimmy won't be back from L.A. till Thursday. Awwwwwww!
Back to Imus' groveling audio. He points out that he has 2 Black people working on his show, so he'd be crazy to be racist. Right. Good luck, Don.
That's it for today. We'll be back tomorrow for more silliness.
Posted: Monday, June 23, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Happy Mondee, Kids. We were in "Worst Of" mode this morning... Deal with it!
Here's a list of topics from today's broadcast:
6:00am Norton and Hooker Underwater Fight
7:00am Male Nurses Bruer/Sheik
8:00am 70 Virgins Black Earl Wedding
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Enter Steve from Bay Shore...
It's Monday and the boys are off, but will be back tomorrow with tales of their weekend shenanigans. Prepare yourselves!
In the meantime, here are a few li'l items to keep you amused, annoyed, and angered. Enjoy!
First off... Oh Damn.... The Great George Carlin 1937 - 2008
We have to mention the death of legendary comedian George Carlin, who died in Santa Monica yesterday of a heart attack at the age of 71. Well, that just sucks, and it p
