Daily Opie and Anthony Show Updates Postings for July 2008
WHAT DID WE LEARN? MONDAY, JULY 7, 2008
Posted: Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
We're back LIVE! Sweet, merciful crap. Is vacation over already?
6:00
There's a bunch of catching up to do. Let's start with our pal Little Jimmy Norton, who went to Vegas with his chubby buddy Blob "Yes, I'll Have Seconds" Kelly to see UFC 86. They had themselves a blast. Jimmy says that he's never been treated better at an event than he was by the UFC. They really took care of him. It sounds like the only drawback was they didn't seat him far enough away from Bobby.
No, those are NOT Jimmy's li'l hands held up in front of him. Photo from wwtdd.com
According to Jimmy, the UFC fans are as frenzied as the Romans were in the heyday of the Colosseum; they really get into it. Jimmy and Bobby were also like Romans... later that evening they went back to their hotel room and re-enacted several scenes from the movie "Caligula".
Allegedly.
The place was filled with all types of celebrities, and Jimmy got to see and meet an s-load of them, including Laura Prepon from "That 70s Show".
oOOOOoOoooooooOoOooOooOoo!
When the fighters came into the arena Jimmy said the energy in the place was amazing... quite the spectacle and Jim can't imagine an actual Roman event having been any more intense.
Chris Lytle, one of the fighters, got cut on the head and bled so much Jimmy couldn't believe he didn't get any blood on them.
It sounds like Jimbo had himself quite the time. Nice!
6:30
Insufferably boring actor Will Smith's new movie "Hancock" was the #1 film at the box office over the holiday weekend, raking in $66 million. O&A staff Keebler Elf Danny saw the movie and was not a fan. He should've just walked out when the movie took a dive about 45 minutes into it. Anthony recalls walking out of a film once: he was seeing "Mr. Mike's Mondo Video" and just couldn't take it.
Sounds like it was a winner!
Waxing Crazy
A wax figure of Adolf Hitler was making its debut at the opening of the brand new Berlin Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum on Saturday, when the 2nd visitor ran past a guard, put Hitler in a headlock, and ripped the wax head off the $326,000 statue.
The decapitator is a 41 year old ex-Berlin cop who is said to have left wing leanings. I also read somewhere that he may have been doing it to win a bet. Zany!
Pool Update!
Ant's new pool
Well, Ant's pool is still being worked on. Over the weekend Ant and Jill had their families over Chateau Cumia before they all headed out to The Nautical Mile in Freeport for dinner. Both familes were suspicious as to why Ant was having people over to his house, so to mess with them, he gathered them all in the kitchen for a Champagne toast where he made the big announcement: He and Jill had just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.
Wow.
Jill and her three boobs. Mrrff err meh!!
One very good thing went on over vacation: Jill took a naked swim in the, as yet, unheated pool.
Ant? Pics?
Keith The Cop will take care of the pool heating issues, even though he's feeling a bit jilted by the continued presence of the luscious Jill Nicolini. He found her actually doing some laundry the other day (one of Keith's favorite tasks). She was washing her and Ant's sheets, which, let's just say, had been put to good use.
Ok terrific!
7:00
Jimmy is steamed at a sports blogger named Mike Chiappetta because the fella ignored the fact that Jimmy was at the UFC event, but gushed over adult Emo douche Pete Wentz in his column. Wentz DJed the event and looked moody.
Awwww! Do you have deep, dark feelings?
Time to grow up, bitch!
Jimmy would like you to drop that blogging ass a note at mike.chiappetta@nbcuni.com. Let him know how you feel about him and his crappy "column".
The Buffet King
Bob Kelly has arrived in studio...
He had himself a really great time in Vegas, although he was a tad annoyed that Mandy Moore got such good seats.
No nosebleed seats for her!
He was, however, quite pleased to see Criss Angel, whom he describes as being "a sexy bastard".
Ecccccchhhhh!
Dumb Vos
The idiot Rich Vos had a low self esteem moment at a comedy club last Thursday when Ann Coulter was there checking out the acts and gabbing with everyone. She recognized Vos, who got all flustered because he knew he was supposed to know who she was, but was only able to stammer out, "Who are you? Laura Ingram?"
That's some neck ya got there, Toots.
Everyone was embarrassed for him. Why didn't he take a moment to think out his question before blurting it out? I think it's because all words slip out too quickly from Vos' overly-spittle-lubed mouth.
7:35
Alex Rodriguez is getting divorced. Supposedly he's been going for many visits to Madonna, aka "The Material Clump", for religious guidance. What? Anyway, his divorce from his wife Cynthia is going on, but Madonna denies that she herself is getting divorced to be with A-Rod. For now she's staying married.
The guys, except Jimmy, think Madonna is way to ripped, haggard, and manly looking to be attractive anymore.
Yikes!
Meanwhile, the rumors about an A-Rod/Madonna romance continue in the gossip columns. Great.
8:00
Check out RobertKellyLive.com for info on our favorite fairly-chubby comedian. Someone get that man a cake! He's losing weight too rapidly!
Bobby says he was watching Extreme Home Makeover and was brought to tears. Opie says he got weepy as well because the latest episode featured a wounded US Marine.
Awwww jeeze.
Op & Bobby talk about the show, much to the chagrin of Ant and Jimmy, neither of whom watch it. Opie especially likes when the show does makeovers of houses in the middle of a ghetto because he knows that the house will be robbed and destroyed within days.
One of his favorite clips is this one:
Fantastic.
What's something that makes Ant cry, besides making his alimony payments? Not much, anymore. When he was a kid, however, he was crying almost all the time. There is footage of 3 year old Ant playing drums on Christmas morning and crying his eyes out. Maybe Groucho pinched him from somewhere off-cam. Linngerrrrrrr longerrrrrrrrr!
There was also the time each kid in Anthony's class had to bring in a homemade treat for the class, and his mom decided to just buy some cheap chocolate cookies and send them in.
Ant came home crying because the kids said that he had brought in "doodie cookies". I think Ant's big mistake was bringing them in all wrapped up in a diaper.
8:45
Anthony wants to say hello to the people over at the CW11 News that he met over vacation, especially "Smug Guy". Opie's having none of it, and says that the CW11 is home to the hackiest news show anywhere.
Ouch.
Black National Anthem? Wait. What?
Last week the mayor of Denver invited singer Rene Marie to sing the National Anthem, but she sang the words to the song "Lift Ev'ry Voice And Sing", instead. That song is widely regarded as the unofficial "Black National Anthem".
The boys wonder why nobody said anything to her about singing the wrong lyrics. Interesting. I have about 15 jokes I could put in here, but I think it's wise to leave them out. I'm just sayin'.
Here We Go Again...
Up in Falmouth MA, where last week a teenager pushed a 71 year old man fishing with his grandson off a dock just because he thought it would be funny, a family from NY was attacked when a local decided that based upon their New York State license plates, they MUST be Yankee fans. The father got out of the car to confront the jackass and was given a beating.
Anthony says this is typical Boston behavior, where they can't seem to separate NY residents from NY sports teams.
Bobby tells a story of getting out of a car to confront someone he shouldn't have. Years ago he was going out with this girl for the first time, and they were parked and kissing. Suddenly, he heard her say "Oh no. It's Louie", who only three days before had been her boyfriend. Well, ol' Louie wasn't happy to see Bobby kissing "his" girl and totally beat the crap out of young Mr. Kelly. He got knocked out and was kicked so hard in the face his lips swelled to incredible proportions.
Damn! I guess it would've been better had Bob just driven away instead of deciding to hold his ground against a psychopath. Maybe next time.
That's it for today, kids! We'll be back for more mirth and mayhem on the morrow.
Happy Birthday to Ringo Starr, who turns 68 today.
Fancy!
Plugola
Bobby will be at the Punch Line Comedy Club in San Francisco July 9th through the 12th. Go check him out!
what I like to call a first class grump. After this, the jockey wouldn't even ride a Merry-Go-Round. • IDIOTS! A Japanese announcer was doing a stunt segment when he fell
Today's Feature: WOMEN 
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