Daily Opie and Anthony Show Updates Postings for September 2007
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2007
Posted: Friday, September 28, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
6:00
The guys started off the show this morning talking about Carrot Top whom they had on their OTHER show yesterday.
Here's a photo of Carrot Top taken yesterday:
 Freaky much?
Opie thinks that he had make-up tattooed on his face and that he’s doing steroids. A listener calls in and says that it looks like he’s using synthol.
Aaaaaaanyway...
Continuing with yesterdays topics, it's time for more baseball trash talking. The Mets are now tied with the Phillies and the Yankees are closing in on the Sox.
The guys also have a new audio clip that they will be playing Guess The Sound with.
More on this later...
6:30
Now that the Mets are choking away their lead Opie had this to say: “Let's go Islanders!”
A list of last year’s top TV earners has been released.
Jerry Seinfeld made 60 million dollars off his show just from syndication. Opie met Jerry once and wanted to talk to him but didn’t want to be a “Seinfeld douche”. In order to avoid being said “Seinfeld douche” he thought of something else to talk to him about; the movie Seinfeld made, Comedian.
That turned out to be a good idea as Jerry seemed to like talking about something other than Seinfeld. Unfortunately, Opie didn’t have any follow-up topics so the conversation ended and they walked away from each other awkwardly.
Guess The Sound...
The listeners have some ideas as to what the “Guess The Sound” sound might be:
-Is it Opie hitting his head against the bathroom stall after not having a good follow-up question for Seinfeld? Nope.
-Is it the sound of the Red Sox and Mets choking? Not that either...
Speaking of sound clips... William with his dresses and fingernail polish might be the greatest sound clip since “OK Terrific!”
Here's the original William clip:
Now it’s time for some new William!!!
Opie: “My name is E-Rock and I like to eat sandwiches.”
7:00
The baseball trash talking continued and that led to a discussion about how stupid mascots are. The Philly Fanatic, Mr. Met, Wally the Green Monster, Digger the Dinosaur and Sluggerrrr all get an equal bashing.
A listener wrote in with a little known fact:
The NY Yankees had a short lived mascot that went by the name of Dandy:
Hip-Hop from the 76ers might be the stupidest looking one: 
Steely McBeam is the new mascot of the Pittsburg Stealers:  Anthony: “It should be Deady McMiner.”
The New York Islanders might have the lamest, nonsensical mascot ever: Sparky the Dragon. What the hell does a dragon have to do with hockey or Long Island you ask? NOTHING. They borrow the stupid thing from the arena football team that plays in the same building.
Their name? The Dragons.
Ant: “Is there a Sam Boni?”
Yes there is Ant:
Norton’s idea for a mascot: The Beheaded Prostitute.
7:30
O&A want CW11 to let Jill dance like they know she can.
Guess the sound continued...
-Is it Ant trying to bench 20 lbs? Nope.
Here’s the best way we can describe the answer without getting fined:
A man and the things that make him a man + table + shoe… combine violently.
Norton: “WHY???”
Sandy Kane was on the OTHER show yesterday and the boys made E-Rock sniff “her”.
Who the hell is Sandy Kane?
From the OApedia:
An awful... who was a stripper in New York during the stone age. She is known on the show for... (a genital wart) and a hemorrhoid... that made Bob Kelly vomit. She also has inverted nipples and is all around awful. One time while on the show a listener... and caused her to make awful sounds. She has a weekly show on local access cable in NYC... God help us all.
Edited much?
The boys played some audio of the best part of her visit yesterday... E-Rock throwing up.
Wouldn’t you?
Next up, the guys play some audio of one of the first news reports on AIDS.
Followed by this:
8:00
The woman across the street from the K-Rock studio that gets naked in front of her window has really let herself go. It looks like she's stopped exercising and shaving. Norton said that he stands naked in front of the window in his apartment too. But we know he's not letting himself go. He's dreamy.
Opie bought binoculars for his new apartment but his fiance gets mad that Opie is using the binoculars by himself... even through she readily offers them to guests such as Club Soda Kenny.
Why binoculars over a telescope?
Because a telescope would be admitting you have a problem. 
I guess this is news...
The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame has announced this year’s nominees. Unfortunately the following list is not satire:
Beastie Boys
Madonna
John Mellencamp
Leonard Cohen
Afrika Bambaataa
Chic
The Ventures
Donna Summer
The Dave Clark Five
Ant gets angry about this list but then realizes he doesn’t even care. The guys then debate whether or not the Beastie Boys are rock or not.
Madonna? Chic? Donna Summer?
Opie sums things up: “The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a joke.”
8:30
Bill Burr was back on the show today.
This is Bill, in case you missed yesterdays rundown: 
Bill went out and did some serious drinking last night. He woke up sweaty on a leather couch and hasn’t brushed his teeth yet. Bill then describes how it feels to do horrific things on the O&A show and then have to go outside and see people on the street, hoping no one recognizes him and knows what he was just a part of.
Bret Michaels, the lead singer of Poison stopped by the studio today.
This is Bret back in the day: 
This is Bret today: 
Since Nikki Sixx was in yesterday, we need one more 80's hair band member to complete the trifecta. Maybe Jon Bon Jovi will take some time off of his 10 shows in Jersey to stop by.
Roland sings Poison’s “Every Rose Has It's Thorn,” very poorly, for Bret.
Roland’s forehead is sweating so much that it looks like Bill Burr’s couch.
Bret talks about his TV show Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. If you haven't caught it yet, you're really missing a good time.
Opie asks Bret if threesomes ever get boring. Bret says no, not even close to boring but he does wear black socks and a cape sometimes to keep things interesting. Norton asked Bret what guy he would like to have a threesome with. Bret wasn’t too into the question until Jimmy explained that there wouldn’t be any man-to-man touching and that the guys could just talk to each other like they were just hanging out.
Answer? Steven Tyler.
Have fun thinking about that all weekend.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2007
Posted: Thursday, September 27, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
6:00
Get your 'puter mice in order… It’s the Opie & Anthony Show!
Thursday's are chock full of bits so be prepared. It should be Extreme Male Camel Toe Thursday but Opie won’t wear his sweatpants. We will have some Perv News, some pointless Phone Calls and of course, Fun Facts.
Let's start off with a Perv News Story...
A cheerleading school owner in Washington, Mr. Finger (?!?), was arrested for having sex with a minor. The adorable couple was caught when the girl's mother read her diary. Good times.
As we mentioned a few rundowns back, there are many ways to get in touch with the program. There's Paltalk, Instant Feedback and the telephone. Right now, Anthony’s favorite bit is Phone Call Thursday. If you have nothing to add but always wanted to call, this is the bit for you. Now, don't confuse this with Far Away Phone Calls... those actually have a point. Phone Call Thursday is just about getting a call from the listeners, period.
And in case you haven’t heard, Anthony got a new cat and he got it from Steve from Bay Shore. You'll probably hear that a few more times this week.
Story time with Norton...
Norton told the story about the origin of “Perhaps more than that Jim!” Here goes... The O&A crew were driving around Beverly Hills looking at million dollar homes when Norton made a joke saying “I bet these cost like, 100 thousand dollars.” To which Master Po responded, in all seriousness, “Perhaps more than that Jim!”.
He's a swift one that Master Po.
6:30
How about some news...
-The Mets are choking.
-The NFL has sent a memo to all of it's teams telling them not to allow home team cheerleaders near visiting players because the players are being distracted.
-Marc Ecko's Barry Bonds home-run record breaking ball will be branded with an asterisk and shipped off to the hall of fame.
Here's Marc playing with his ball... Bonds played his last game in San Francisco as a Giant last night.
-This story got a brief mention so it’s going here. A Fed-Ex big rig dumped all of it's cargo onto I-35 in Texas. I hope no one was waiting for a package.
Fun Facts on this Fun Fact Thursday...
The tradition of having a wake before a funeral started in order to make sure people were really dead before being buried. Norton’s first guess was: “Because if you did it after the burial, the family would track dirt through the house.”
This lead to a discussion about being buried alive. Norton wants to be cremated and have his ashes scattered at the cheerleading school started by Mr. Finger.
A listener called up with a Fun Fact about the best selling video game of all time which he claimed is Super Mario 3. That’s sort of debatable. Here’s the list.
Speaking of video games, Than already beat Halo 3. It took him 10 hours split into two sessions; 7 hours & 3 hours.
FYI: Halo 3 brought in 170 million dollars on it’s first day!
Opie's favorite TV show, Kid Nation, is the next topic of discussion. Opie says the host is cute.
This is the host:
A bit more on that later…
The one thing Anthony has learned from Kid Nation is that kids are dumb. Not all of them though. One of Opie’s friends actually has a daughter on the show. This is her.
7:00
This hour starts out with a little bit of talk about monks.
That is, until Opie gets called out for saying that the host of Kid Nation is cute. There was no way the rest of the show was going to continue without this coming up again. Opie tried to make things better by saying that the host isn’t really his type and that he likes more of a Brad Pitt type.
ALL BETTER NOW!
Ant: “Chris Hansen should host this show.”
Story Time with Ant...
Anthony tells a story about napping & soap operas. He said he needs the TV on when he naps because if he doesn’t, he’ll just stay awake thinking about stupid stuff.
Than says that Ant watches TV instead if thinking of ideas for the show.
So, yesterday, Ant fell asleep with the TV on and when he woke up there was a soap opera on the tube. Two guys were on screen and all of a sudden they started making out with some nice open mouth tongue action. That was followed by one of the men's fathers walking in on them and the show ended with the father's shocked face.
Norton takes this opportunity to describe what it would be like to kiss a man. Gently palming the back of your neck with sweaty man hands and licking your lips in a playful manner were the focal points.
Oooh politics...
Last night there was a Democratic debate. Like most of America, Opie didn’t watch it because he knew no one would actually answer questions.
Ant thinks the Dems are screwed....
Here’s what they have to offer:
Mike Gravel a.k.a. Old Crazy Guy
Chris Dodd a.k.a. Old Guy with Big Part in His Hair.
Joe Biden a.k.a Joseph Robinette "Joe" Biden, Jr.
Barack Obama - inexperienced & not very sincere.
Hillary Clinton - Opie: "No personality." Norton: "Bad pant suit." Ant: Something I can’t repeat here.
John Edwards - OK but reminds Ant of Erick Logan too much.
Logan/Edwards
Have you seen this strange video of Old Crazy Guy, Mike Gravel?
Ant: “That’s a kidney stone.”
Norton gives Hillary Clinton the Nickname of the Day: Frosted Mullet Fat Neck
I would cheat on that too.
7:30
More on how politicians never answer questions...
Norton thinks there should be a mandatory yes/no Q&A session.
Ant: Clinton would answer "yyyNo" and "nnnYes."
Hillary can’t even say what sports team she likes because she’s too scared she’ll piss someone off. But the boys in studio don't have that problem. They talk about what sports teams they like and the fact that they don’t care about what their listeners are fans of. Just to prove a point, Norton says he wants the Detroit Tigers' bus to crash and a building to collapse on the Washington Nationals.
The easiest team to bash these days has to be the Florida Marlins. This is a picture from their home game against the Nationals earlier this month. It was taken in the first inning. The best estimates put the number of people in the stands at less than 400.
More proof from Jimmy that he couldn’t care less about what sports teams the listeners like. His thoughts on the Philadelphia Eagles: “Everyone on the team should have their legs broken in an easily avoidable accident.”
Politics Beauty and the Geek style...
The boys play some audio of the “beauties” talking about minimum wage, marijuana, and drilling for oil. Some of the answers make Miss Teen South Carolina look like a good choice for president.
Back to the news...
-Our fearless leader, President George W. Bush, told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: "Childrens do learn." So O&A’s do play some audios of President Bush.
-A mistrial has been declared in the Phil Spector murder case. More info here, if you even care.
Anthony has been killing Hillary Clinton for an answer she gave to a question about Iran during the debate. He was getting very angry over how evasive she was. They played the audio and Norton & Opie actually didn’t think she did that bad. Jivin then had to dump Ant saying “well, have sex with me”…but in not such a nice way.
A listener called in to discuss the station in West Palm Beach, Florida that O&A are on. The station is trying to replace O&A. Here's the stations website. If you're from there and don’t want to see O&A booted out of town, do something about it!
8:00
Bill Burr stopped by the studio today.
This is Bill:
Bill is from Boston, so that started a discussion about the Sox and Yanks battle for the playoffs. The boys played some audio of Suzyn Waldman being way too excited about Roger Clemens being at Yankee Stadium. Here's the audio.
Bill also gave us his thoughts on the Patriots getting caught cheating. He said, if the Jets would have just gone to Best Buy before the game, they could have done the same thing.
Vinnie Brand, the owner of The Stress Factory Comedy Club, was in the studio this morning as well and he sounds like the midget father from Little People, Big World.
FYI: Midget Dad recently got arrested for a DUI.
Opie: “One Jello shot and he gets a DUI.”
8:30
What's the deal with air travel? Well, why don’t you tell us Bill Burr?
Bill talks about overcrowding, planes flying too close to each other, delays, overselling the flights and more!
Bill: “Vinnie, as a midget, is every seat like a first class seat?”
Bill said he was on a flight that had an aborted landing… meaning the plane had to make a second approach since the first one was botched.
But that's not what Ant and Jimmy saw in their twisted minds...
Anthony:
Norton:
What, can you think of a better way to end a radio show than with abortion jokes? Yeah, we didn't think so.
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WHAT DID WE LEARN? - WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2007
Posted: Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Sixx: A.M.
Today's show started off with Anthony asking about a piece of equipment in the studio. Is it new? He's never seen it before. Oh, it’s the Emergency Alert System display. It’s been in there the entire time but E-Rock had it hidden because he thought it was distracting.
NIIICE AND SAFE!
Ant's home computer is having more problems. This time the hang-up occurred while installing his webcam. He kept getting an error message and the computer kept asking him if he wanted to send a report. Opie said he would love to see the pile of reports that get sent to Microsoft that they do nothing with.
Norton booked a guest for the show…
...a technician from Logitech.
It’s Wake Up Your Spouse Wednesday and the listeners were ready for it this week.
"Items" used to wake up said spouses:
- Dynamite
- Frrrrunkis
- A flapping body part
- Used dog food
- Pot + metal spoon combo
Norton said Steve C. thinks the girl that got woken up with the flapping body part is a lucky girl and that Steve is trying to find an alarm clock that will do the same thing for him in the morning.
6:30
Since the dynamite audio was so good they play this classic:
Lets do some news...
We can't take credit for this image, but it's too awesome not to share!
During the UN General Assembly the U.S. delegation walked out on the Iranians while they were bad mouthing America. This seems like a great way to settle our differences.
The guys also briefly discussed the way news agencies in Iran are reporting Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s visit to Columbia University. To get an idea of what they were talking about go here and check out a few of the websites.
Bonus:
How about a little update on Mahmoud's theory of "no homosexuals in Iran?" No homo!
7:00
This hour starts off with a follow-up on yesterdays Bill O’Reilly story. He’s now trying to bash everyone who bashed him for being a racist by saying that THEY are the racists. Did everyone follow that? Hope so.
The boys discuss how ridiculous O’Reilly’s “no spin zone” garbage is since all he does is spin stories to fit his personal agenda. This led to them into talking about how some shows pretend to be something they're not. Like O’Reilly pretending to have a legitimate news show.
Internet Video of the Day: Wake up with firecrackers!
Although Opie was talking about this video, there are way more out there. So here is a link to a bunch of funny ones.
And here's my favorite:
7:30
More news...
The Meg White possible sex tape story is done already… but you know what’s lingering longer? Oscar de la Hoya in drag.
More pics have surfaced. This time with Oscar (allegedly) in a white tutu and bikini top.
Norton: “Ohhh nooo…not after Labor Day.”
It's now time for the Morning Zoo Bit of the Day! This is the part of the program where O&A play some audio from another stations morning show... and destroy it.
Today’s entry comes from Las Vegas:
Looks like a wacky fun time, no? Their bit was a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back." It’s called "Britney Got Fat." Yes, it was awful. Naturally.
8:00
Nikki Sixx, the bassist from Motley Crue, stopped by the studio today.
Nikki Sixx 
He was here to promote his new book, The Heroin Diaries and the musical project that accompanies it, Sixx: A.M.
Check out the video for Sixx: A.M. - Life Is Beautiful right here.
Nikki told a couple of good junkie stories today. The first was about how one time when he was in London, doing Heroin with drug dealers, he overdosed and they thought he was dead so they threw him in a dumpster. The second was about touring with Ozzy during the 80’s. He said that Sharon Osbourne wouldn’t let anyone back stage so it was really hard for the guys to get laid. One day he asked Sharon really nicely if he could bring a girl backstage. She agreed and pretty much took him shopping for a girl in the front row.
8:30
Nikki was the guy that gave O&A the idea for the Wiffle Ball Bat Challenge. That's right, blame Nikki ladies. Motley Crue used to play a similar game while on tour. If you don’t know what the Wiffle Ball Bat Challenge is, just use your imagination and take a guess at what O&A would ask a woman to do with this:
They also play some audio of Larry King introducing Motley Crue right before they played their first reunion show.
Here it is with the added bonus of moving pictures:
During the interview with Nikki, Howie Mandel called into the show. Howie lives in the same neighborhood as Nikki... as does Ozzy Osbourne and Alex Van Halen. Nikki said that he and Alex are going to TP Ozzy and Howie’s houses one day. The boys ask Howie if that would drive him crazy because he has some serious OCD issues.
Because of his condition Howie got this:
Apparently it opens automatically, puts plastic on the seat and sprays you down when you’re finished. This is making my breakfast not want to be in my body anymore.
I think he would be better off with one of these:
Auto wash...
C-ya! I need to go pick up my multi pass. Muuuulti pass...
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2007
Posted: Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
6:00
Good Morning kids. You should know this by now - but we'll tell you anyway about the many wonderful ways to communicate with the show these days; Paltalk, Instant Feedback, phone (# on the left) and…fax? OK maybe not fax.
If you actually have something to contribute to the show... don't be a stranger.
Let's get right into the news...
A giant swastika was carved into a New Jersey field. The image below was taken by a NJ Police helicopter.
“...the message of hate appears to have been hand-cut.”
My favorite quote from this article is the caption under the picture. "Hand cut?!?" As opposed to what, anti-Semitic aliens? Ant also may have implicated himself in the crime by mentioning the corn he's got stuck on his pants.
Traffic Update...
This week in NYC, the United Nations general assembly is in session. This has created a traffic nightmare in the city and if you know the show at all, you know that Anthony hates anything that gets in the way of him driving 120mph. He was lucky enough, however, to have a celebrity sighting while stuck in traffic yesterday. He saw Ron Bennington from the Ron & Fez Show, Budday!
That’s Ron on the left there with Ms. Fez Marie: 
Ant takes this opportunity to rant about how moronic most drivers are.
These are Ant's three most hated people on the road:
1)The person that drives in the left lane no faster than the car in right lane, creating what Opie calls the “wall of cars.”
2)The person driving a truck filled with sand and rocks that has no cover on it so it rains debris down onto your car.
3)And finally, the person that refuses to pass said truck, keeping everyone else stuck behind it.
Ant has one simple request…”Get out of my way!”
The only thing Ant DOESN’T do while driving is tailgate motorcycles. The reason isn’t “niceness,” it’s that he doesn’t want to be sued if he hits them. Opie thinks the Ninja bike guys are crazy and Ant thinks it’s the Black Ninja guys that are the craziest.
I don’t really get what this has to do with driving but here you go:
6:30
Opie mentioned that Halo 3 just came out so a link to a review is going right… here.
Hey we've got a follow-up on the shooting that took place at Anthony’s house. Ant got a call from his girlfriend who found out about the incident from friends that were listening to yesterdays show. This is what he told her: “I made another video & you need a new computer.”
The video isn’t ready for public viewing yet but he’s working on it.
Ant and his girlfriend haven’t seen each other for about a week so instead of getting a good night’s sleep and being rested for the show they spent the night “doing things.” And Norton spent the night flicking his own nipples. I can’t believe I just typed that.
Back to the news...
While trying to pronounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejihad, Norton & Anthony slip into their Italian accents. This leads to a discussion about the ridiculous things Italians swear on.
“I swear on my daughters eyes!”
After that little aside, the guys discuss the Iranian president's trip yesterday to Columbia University. You can sum up his experience at Columbia in one image...
More on just how amazing it was after the break, but before we get to that, Norton made an observation about Ahmadinejihad and how the top half of his face looks like Robert De Niro.
7:00
It’s the little things that Norton notices that really make him an amazing comic. This time it was the wig that Lee Bollinger, president of Columbia University, was wearing.
My favorite reference was that it looks like John Olerud’s helmet or a candy bowl.
Olerud
Ahmadinejihad uses a translator, so Opie brought up the fact that we rely on translators way too much. How do we know they're even doing a good job???
Talking about Ahmadinejihad led to a discussion about North Korea. They have supposedly agreed to dismantle their nuke program.
Ant said a lot of money probably needed to change hands in order for that to happen and the only reason North Korea agreed to it was because the country is broke. Norton thinks the deal was cut for lifts for Kim Jong-il and a replica of the Columbia guy's wig.
Back to the Iranian president... you know... the guy that doesn’t think the holocaust was as bad as everyone says it was. During the Q&A session at Columbia someone asked him why he feels the way he does about the holocaust.
He responded with some nonsensical thing about continuing scientific research.
Anthony: “The only new things they find are more mass graves. They never find 5 million Jews.”
Norton brings up Bobby Fischer and the fact that he is also a holocaust denier.
The boys agree that denying the holocaust is simply a tool people use to taunt Jews. They then play some of the greatest audio I’ve ever heard. It’s of the crowd’s reaction to Ahmadinejihad saying they don’t have homosexuals in Iran.
Enjoy:
7:30
Bill O’Reilly did a report during a visit he made to Harlem in NYC. Ant comes up with the best description of O’Reilly yet: Ignorance coupled with a pompous superiority complex. The audio starts with this gem: “Black people are starting to think for themselves.” For no reason whatsoever he then goes on to point out that he picked up the tab at the restaurant he and Al Sharpton went to.
Luckily for us “Reverend Al” is in studio and is very excited that Bill is picking up the tab.
Anthony: "Reverend Al is not in the civil rights business and Bill O’Reilly is not in the news business... they are both in show business."
They also played some audio of O’Reilly being shocked that the restaurant was the same as any other restaurant even though it was owned by black people. Norton thinks Bill is acting like he’s an explorer in Africa.
8:00
Oh we didn't forget... and I know you could never forget about 80’s New Wave Tuesday! Norton wanted to hear Whip It by Devo but E-Rock gave him A Little Respect by Erasure instead.
Today is also Far Away Phone Call Tuesday. Today's Far Away Call came from the home of the Pharaohs and papyrus... Egypt. The caller is there studying Arabic... and maybe training to be in the CIA?
Now it's time to say goodbye to Egypt and hello to Mr. Dane Cook.
This is Dane: 
Norton sent in an audition tape for the movie Dane is currently working on. It's called Bachelor #2. Jimmy said it may be the single worst audition he's ever given. Dane said the audition looked like Jimmy had just hung up from the worst phone call ever. Oh... Bob Kelly is in the movie too.
Bob Kelly Side-note: Bob is getting married in Hawaii and he’s invited all the guys... to watch it online.
8:30
If you haven’t heard, there's an alleged Meg White (of the White Stripes) sex tape making it's rounds on the interwebs.
The guys discuss whether they think it’s real or fake. Could it be a reason for the White Stripes tour being canceled? We want this to be real so badly but reps for the stripes are saying it's a fake. Of course they are.
Ant watched the video in studio and had this to say: “Sex looks ridiculous.” Indeed it does.
Norton thinks the woman in the video has a body like Roland. Norton REALLY likes the fact that she’s a bit of a fatty. This leads Jimmy to talk about “hanging out with himself.” It seems to be happening a little too much lately.
The show wraps up with a great Rock Scream Tuesday phone call, the boys mentioning that Nikki Sixx, the bassist from Motley Crue will be in studio tomorrow to discuss his new book The Heroin Diaries and that as soon as the show ends today the boys all have to go to a meeting with the lawyers.
That's right baby... Rock & friggin' Roll!
Emotion(s) while posting: excited
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2007
Posted: Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
6:00
Today’s show was supposed to start with what everyone did over the weekend. That all changed when Anthony started with his weekend and made what everyone else did with their time worthless. To give you an idea of the level of Ant’s weekend, he turned down the chance to play an all night poker game with Kevin Smith because he didn’t want to be too tired for the show.
Opie: “You're showing responsibility? MARK THE DAY!”
 Imagine we photoshopped everyones faces on these dogs... Funny right?
Actually, that was the ONLY responsible thing Ant did this weekend. He drove 120mph in a car that’s he doesn’t own and used a firearm to destroy his computer because it was pissing him off. Opie is very happy that Ant’s girlfriend is back in town this week so she can get him back under control.
Ant filmed himself destroying his PC and it will be the sequel to this:
Ant also spent a bunch of hours this weekend just watching and listening to Paltalk. He said it was more entertaining to watch those people fight than any other piece of human drama he’s ever witnessed.
Ant’s girlfriend was in Colorado and Norton wants to know if she went to Columbine to find someplace calm and relaxing to get away from him.
6:30
The one and only, Kevin Smith is in studio. Kevin jumps in on the PC bashing because he’s a Mac guy. Somehow the discussion turned into a free-for-all about free porn websites that are similar in design to the You Tubes.
FIND THEM YOURSELVES PEOPLE!
The video of a fan trying to punk Kevin Smith at Comic-Con gets brought up. I think Kevin pwned this guy harder than anyone has ever been pwned before. No embed because Kevin uses dirty words. Here's the video.
The boys also get Kevin’s thoughts on a new fad...
Getting tasered... 
7:00
Opie has a new favorite TV show. It's called Kid Nation. It’s obvious why he likes it so much… it’s 2 hours of children crying.
The boys play some tasering audio which prompts Kevin to ask, “Do you mess yourself when you get tasered?” Kevin says he would mess himself once the taser was taken out of its holster. Anthony reveals the fact that he made a make-shift taser once and tested it on a girlfriend. She is now obviously an EX-girlfriend.
A listener calls in angry that security guards are abusing their power. She referred to the security guards as “2.5”.
Wait for it...  Wait... for... it...  GET IT???
Another listener calls in to tell the boys about the pain gun.
Sounds… uh… painful.
Someone, somehow, for some reason brings up Tesla.
Our first thought was, “Why the hell are they talking about Tesla?”
It turns out they were actually talking about a Tesla Coil:
Make sure you turn up your volume for this one. It's almost inaudible...
Opie brings up a story about a woman that was dying in the street from pancreatic failure and the fine young gentleman that came by to help her. Congratulations to that guy for being an even worse human being that Michael Vick.
Kevin talks about licking batteries to test if they're good and everyone agrees that they have done it too. This explains a lot about the people in studio.
7:30
Jimmy has an ear itch. Maybe it’s from the movie he was in, in which he played a Russian officer from the Star Ship Enterprise.
Speaking of movies... Opie went to see Into the Wild this weekend.
He not only gives a review but pretty much ruins the entire movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Sean Penn directed the movie so they discuss how much of a stiff he is and how he has no sense of humor too.
But come on guys, Penn was Spicoli!!!
Marge from Little Shelter calls in. Ingrid, the Viagra dog, is still alive and now Marge wants money for a pet medical center.
A guy calls in quite pissed off because he only gets 15 minutes a day to listen to the show and today that 15 minutes was spent listening to Marge.
Kevin tells everyone that his family was the “neighborhood cat family” when he was growing up. For those who don’t know, “neighborhood cat family” is the family or, more often, old lady, that feeds and takes care of every cat within a 5 mile radius.
It probably looked similar to this:
8:00
OK... brace yourselves people...
If the Meg White sex tape rumor didn't get you excited this morning, Marsha and Jan Brady hooking up on the set of the Brady Bunch will definitely get you there.
Boooooooooooooom!
The guys go through some archives and pick which episodes they wish this would have happened in. They also noticed that Mike Brady had no interest in what the daughters were up to and spent a little too much time in the boys’ bedroom.
Nice tight shorts Mike… Just one of the girls huh? 
Kevin Smith is going to be on Letterman for the first time tonight. He’s now a “two-show-guy”. O&A are two show guys but Letterman won’t let them on again since they went on Leno.
Back to Opie's favorite TV show. Op plays some audio from Kid Nation.
Ant: “This is televised child abuse.”
Jimmy, an 8 year old from the show asks to go home after just one show. The boys point out how disappointed Jimmy’s parents must be? Day one?!?!
Kevin makes a Caligula reference because he thinks this scene from the movie is what we’re all going to eventually need as entertainment:
Kevin Smith visits O&A simply because he loves the show but why not plug something when you have something to plug right?
Kevin's got a book out. Pick up a copy why don't cha.
8:30
Roland and his manly voice step into the studio. Roland is O&A’s Guest Booker so they start talking about celebs blowing off the show. Apparently there are no phones in Australia because Milla Jovovich couldn’t call in. And Dane Cook was in NYC but he couldn't friggin' stop by the show.
Kevin Smith, a bigger name than Milla and Dane combined, turned down another show to come on O&A today. Hoo Hoo.
Back to that poker game... Kevin Smith got Big Kev to wear a Rocketeer helmet during the entire poker game last night.
This is Big Kev with his sweet helmet: 
And now we go back to Roland. He likes chick-flicks… a lot. Here are some of his favorites: Once, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, The Notebook and The Lake house.
Op, Ant, Jimmy, Roland and the Kevins end the show today by talking about movies their parents took them to see. The reason Roland likes chick-flicks... that’s what his mother took him to see. Ant fogged up the windows in his Dad's car at the drive-in when there were sex scenes and Kevin Smith remembers watching Blood Sucking Freaks with his parents.
Again, this explains a lot.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2007
Posted: Friday, September 21, 2007
Friday , September 21, 2007
6:00
Today's rundown starts with the Video of the Day. You see, this is just one more reason why friends suck. You can't trust those bastards. They do things like this when you're passed-out-drunk. Of course, that's what they say when you're the one coloring in their teeth with permanent marker.
It's "Face taping passed out dude!"
That’s just disturbing.
Similar story, just not as f'ed up...
There was a regular at a bar that Opie used to hang out at who would always pass out in his bar stool. Opie and his friends would make bets on how many red mixing straws they could stick in his hat before he woke up. Ha ha! You have straws in your hat and liver spots.
A married woman called up the show and said she has to fantasize about women while she is having relations with her husband in order to enjoy herself.
Sounds like a great call right? Wrong. She’s the most boring story teller of all time.
OK, next up... It's a sad day for America, and a great day for effeminate cry babies worldwide. Chris Crocker, the You Tube idiot who was telling us to leave Britney alone has been offered a TV gig. This is why when the aliens come they're just going to wipe us out like Independence Day and start over. Damn you Hollywood. Why do you hate us so?
Jill Nicolini, the smoking hot chick from CW11 news didn’t know Chris Crocker was a guy. That’s ok Jill, Jivin and I are still not sold on that fact either.
6:30
The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejihad, says he won’t push for trip to ground zero anymore since politicians and the NYPD said "no friggin' way." Oh thanks, buddy. You're a real sport. He is going to be speaking at Columbia University though. Those are the same students that booed the founder of the Minutemen off the stage.
The boys wonder why these idiot students have a problem with the guy who is trying to stop illegal aliens from crossing the border but not with a guy that says the accounts of the holocaust are exaggerated.
Norton says Ahmadinejihad has a Frankenberry hairdo. Frankenberry is bald though, so this one doesn’t make much sense to us. But, since Joe the web guy ain’t got 'S' else to do, let's see what he would look like anyway...
O&A did a little update on the very sexy Oscar de la Hoya photos from yesterday. Oscar's management is insisting the photos are photoshoped, while the website that originally obtained the photos are insisting they are real. Well we did some research and found the originals.
Today’s audio is from a woman in Ohio that got tasered by the cops numerous times until she fell and passed out. Pay particular attention to the woman smacking her head on the car.
Ant: You gotta love the taser.
Hell yes you do, bro.
Ant can’t understand how people even get to the point of getting tased. “Just give up!” Opie is glad they didn’t have taser technology when he was younger because he would have been tasered just for being stupid.
 Tase me bro!
And Norton says he needs a taser for the relationship he’s in.
Yes you do Jimmy.
7:00
Rich Vos, Super-Comedian is in studio for the remainder of the program.
Rich looks like this, sometimes: 
The first ridiculous thing to come out of Vos’ mouth is this: "6 or one, half dozen of the other." Why he said it isn’t important, it’s just the fact that he did. Norton doesn’t help the situation at all by telling Vos that the proper way to say it is “6 to 1, half a dozen in the other”.
Finally Anthony comes through with his perfect grasp of the english language. It's “Six of one, half-dozen of the other.”
Mr. Bucket reprise...
Vos: “Imagine being the studio musicians for this?”
Vos followed this great line with two bombs about an uncle and Club Soda Kenny. There really is no need to repeat them.
Bust a nut? Sure, why not. Bust as many as you'd like.
At this point Vos tries to convince everyone that “flavor” is a recent invention, like within the last 10 years. The great thing about Vos is that he’s dead serious with this crap. Trying to explain this in detail would be futile but don’t worry if you missed it. This is Worst Of fodder if I’ve ever heard it.
7:30
Listeners are wondering if Vos’ oxygen was cut off when he was a baby and other such things to try and explain why he is the way he is. For some reason Vos is carrying around index cards with the names of famous Jews and what they did written on them.
Voss: “Do you know who invented insulin?” Norton: “Saul Diabetuwitz?”
Vos, a Jewish man, is wearing a shirt that has the Star of David with a fist in it. It's for the Jewish Defense League. Ant thinks only tough Israelis should be wearing that shirt.
Was Walt Disney was anti-Semitic? I guess we'll have to trust Wikipedia on this one. This led the boys to fancy some racially specific rides at Disney.
You should know by now that each and every Friday we like to update you on Tom, the dying guy who wants a Mac Book Pro from Opie. So... Is Tom alive? As of today...
YES!
8:00
Stone Cold Steve Austin stopped by the studio today too. It's getting crowded in here. Vos starts things off nicely by saying that he thought Stone Cold was Larry the Cable Guy.
 Not even close...
Stone Cold was on the show to promote the release of his latest movie, Condemned.
At this point Norton tries to relate to Stone Cold by trying to engage him in a conversation about working out. Jimmy is so excited that they have the same shoes, that he demonstrates swim walking for him.
Vos got jealous of all the attention Jimmy was getting from Stone Cold so he tried to impress him with his “I used to dress up sexy for my gay crack dealer to get more crack” story. See, we weren't lying about that Vos pic up above.
Stone Cold is doing a signing in NYC tonight and that gets everyone talking about how annoying crazy fans can be.
As an example they played the audio from this classic clip...
At this point Vos invites Stone Cold to his comedy show... aka shameless plug.
8:30
E-Rock told Norton that the data port on his laptop was universal and now Norton’s memory card from his digital camera is stuck. If it doesn’t come out Norton is going to smash E-Rock’s laptop.
A woman calls the show angry about the Jewish Disney bit. She rants for 5 minutes and at the end Vos simply asks…”Are you hot?” Her response was a curse followed by her hanging up.
Was that a “no” then?
Pat from Moonachie, who is desperate for cash, only charged Opie $100 to transport a TV for him. The trip is going to be over 100 miles. With gas & tolls he’s actually going to be going home with a little more than half that. Pat is quite the businessman!
Thanks to Flow the Canadian Dollar for correcting Jivin's mistake.
Also thanks to Chris in Manassas for attempting to send in the Nail Polish vid. It didnt work, see.
But Danny D in West Springfield found it. Here you go.
That's all for this week kids. I'm so glad it's Friday.
See you all on Monday.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? - THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2007
Posted: Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
6:00
O&A say the tasered moron (link is NSFW due to bad words) at the John Kerry event is now officially yesterday’s news. His 15 minutes of fame have been reduced to 15 seconds.
But this article is singing a different tune.
And this t-shirt seems to agree: 
This leads the boys into another battle in the O&A Sound Clip War: "Usss" vs. "I like turtles" vs. "Damn, you’ve been pwned" vs. "I like to make werewolf movies" vs. "My name is William and I like fingernail polish."
Usss is a sound that Ant makes which is reminiscent of a karate grunt. This is the "I like turtles" clip and this is the "werewolf" clip. I'm sorry, but no matter how many offensive search terms I tried I just couldn't find the "pwned" and "fingernail polish" clips. Maybe you'll have better luck. If you find them, please send them in as instant feedback.
Anyway... William and his sexy fingernail polish won the battle.
UPDATE 9/21: Matt R. in Astoria and Chris in Manassas, VA sent in the "fingernail polish" clip but the links were no good, see.
Nice try tho, guys. Also, Jivin is the dump guy, Joe is the web guy.
We both do the rundown together. I help him in the lavatory as well.
Danny D in W. Springfield, MA came through with the Nail Polish video. Good work!
Welcome one and all to Fun fact Thursday!
Our first Fun Fact of the day:
In 1934, American commentator Walter Winchell coined the term "disc jockey" (the combination of "disc," referring to the disc shaped records and "jockey," which is an operator of a machine) as a description of radio announcer Martin Block, the first announcer to become a radio star.
How about some news?
A man kidnapped his girlfriend with the help of a noseless man.
The boys notice that "Mr. No Nose" looks a little like Scott Shannon from the Scott & Todd show and/or Bill Murray from Caddyshack. Norton thinks "No Nose" must have won the “move hot embers with your nose” contest. Wait, does Jim mean Scott Shannon or Mr. No Nose?
Yes.
More fun facts on this Fun Fact Thursday...
Van Halen was discovered by Gene Simmons of Kiss and he wanted to call them “Daddy Longlegs”.
And a listener called in with a “fun fact” about autoerotic asphyxiation...
He said it kills 400 people each year in the US alone. The actual number ranges from 200-1000. The reason for the huge range in numbers is that in some cases fatalities are not initially recognized, and are confused with suicide.
Then some woman called in with two facts that are no fun at all...
She said Arizona has more national parks than any other state and you can’t fold a piece of paper more than 8 times.
OK terrific!
Now this is a real fun fact...
So much fun in fact that it gets it's own graphic.
More people are killed by vending machines than shark attacks. 
More news...
That pic above would be of champion boxer Oscar de la Hoya as he took a break from kicking ass to dress in drag... and pose for pics. Click that last link for more photo goodness.
Reports are coming in saying that the photos are fake. I hope to god they're not.
He looks goooood!
6:30
This next segment started out with the boys discussing the Yankees, Red Sox, Mets and the race for the playoffs. Ant says the Mets are a team for female baseball fans.
But the conversation quickly returned to Oscar De La Renta Hoya. Ant wants to know where Oscar puts his “stuff” when he’s dressed in drag. Opie & Norton think they spot an ear or bat wing in one of the pictures. I can’t seem to find either one but maybe you’ll have better luck.
Next up, O&A play audio from a commercial from the early ‘90’s for a kids toy called Mr. Bucket.
Wow... just... wow.
Alternate names for the game:
Mr. JFK in Dallas & Mr. Budket Dwyer
Here’s another commercial for a game with an odd name...
It's called, ahem, Ball Buster:
7:00
Even more news...
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejihad, wants to go to ground zero while he's here in NYC next week.
NYPD says NO, YOU CAN’T GO TO GROUND ZERO… NOT YOURS.
Ant thinks that there is no way someone like this should be allowed anywhere near ground zero and Jimmy Norton thinks we should just kill him and bury him in the hole there. Now, that's no way to make friends Jimmy.
The boys discuss how the leaders of countries that hate the US enjoy all that NYC has to offer when they come to the UN. Ant thinks that the UN should be moved to some really sucky location. Like Utah... or New Jersey. Zing!
Oh look, a man woke up during his own autopsy. That must have been sexy. I know Hayden Panettiere pulled off that look perfectly in an episode of Heroes.
I think Quincy might have been the one doing the autopsy...
Norton finally figured out why the chick at the end of that video has such a flat caboose. It’s because Quincy left her on the Autopsy table too long.
Some woman calls up to scare the hell out of everyone with a “fun fact” about MRSA. I'm scared already and I haven't even looked upwhat the hell MSRA is yet. Let's see...
Oh no... I feel dirty.
7:30
Back to the news of the day...
O.J. Simpson has been released on bail. The guys throw out some guesses on what will happen to the Juice. Opie guesses he'll get 6 months in jail, Ant said 1 year but that he won’t actually have to serve the time and E-Rock thinks he’ll just end up having to wear an ankle bracelet. E-Rock also thinks about doughnuts... often.
And now for something completely different...
Eric Estrada sings celebration:
Ok then...
It's now time to discuss The View...
Yeah, you read that right... your eyes are not lying to you. Watch this video and you’ll know why this stupid show was worth mentioning:
Jivin the dump guy said, "It takes a lot to shock me with stupidity because I see so much of it everyday but thanks to Sherri Shepard it happened today. I once had to draw a diagram of the relationships between the Sun, Earth and Moon for a girl I dated in college because she didn’t know what revolved around what. She graduated and I ended up dropping out because I was a drunk."
And just so we represent all sides of the argument: The Flat Earth Society
8:00
Comedian Greg Giraldo stopped by the studio and stuck around for the rest of the show.
This is Greg: 
This is Greg at the Flavor Flav Roast on Comedy Central. No embed because there are some bad words that didn't get bleeped.
Now O&A give us all an update on the battle between Than and his mother. If you caught the show and/or rundown a few weeks ago you should remember (but probably don't) that Than and his mom had a blowout at dinner in Nantucket.
Here's what we wrote in the original rundown of that story:
Than called his mother a sociopath. Yay!
Than has some issues with his mother stemming from his parents divorce. The name calling went down during a nice, drunken dinn | |
