Daily Opie and Anthony Show Updates Postings for January 2008
WHAT DID WE LEARN? THURSDAY, JANUARY 31, 2008
Posted: Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
People are saying it's Thursdeeee. Erock! Check into that!
6:00
Anthony! Watch out! Jimmy got ahold of Opie's new Kashi Cinnamon Shredded Wheat Cereal and Op say's he'll be producing even more gaseous eruptions than normal.
Do you remember? It was just yesterday.
"Brother Man"? Or "Pally"? Or "Mother Hucka"? I'm sure you do.
That cringeworthy audio and other old school Opie and Anthony bits are available on another of the boys' many websites. Search it out and enjoy... if you dare.
The superbowl's A-Comin'
The Big Game (bleccchh) is right around the corner. Opie says they've been waiting for this situation to arise for years: The Chowder Bowl?
New York Mayor Bloomberg and Boston's Idiot Mayoral Moron Menino have a bet on the game: The losing city's mayor (YES, I know the Giants play in NJ. SHUTUP! I get it!) will donate a crapload of their city's local style of Clam Chowder, Manhattan or New England, to feed the homeless.
Will golden bunned Tippy Tom soon be enjoying some of that creamy New England goodness? We'll have to wait and see. I shudder at the thought of what it will look like dripping from Tom's beard.
Ant says he wants to see REAL homeless on the news eating the chowder... not the rehearsed, mild mannered homeless that we always end up seeing. We want some of the real psycho-wrecks who come into the studio every once in awhile to stink up the place. We don't, however, want ANYONE named Charlie involved.
Oh Noes!
Lunatic celebretard Britney Spears is in the hospital again! It’s the old 5150 here, kids, so they’ve sent her to the bin. She’s been determined to pose an immediate threat to herself and others around her. Nice. Is anyone surprised by that?
Opie now understands a little bit better why Justin Timberlake got away from her when she was still hot. He took off like one of the fleeing spectators in the newsreel footage of the Hindenburg plummeting to the ground in a burst of flames. Sometimes you need to know when to get out... and it seems that Timberlake did.
Has It Been a Week Already?
It’s Have Sex With Your Cousin Thursday. It was last Thursday that Anthony revealed his teenage infatuation with a lovely first cousin of his. Back when Ant was a teen, and the average human lifespan was 32, it was common for people to have their own family by the age of 14.
How old IS he?
6:30
Election Speculation
WHO will be president? Big headed douche John Edwards has dropped out of the race but has yet to throw his support behind anyone aside from his hairstylist. It looks like John McCain may end up as the Republican candidate, and O&A are wondering if he'll take on Rudy Giuliani as his VP. I don’t know.
The rat-rag NY Post has endorsed Barack Hussein Obama as their presidential candidate of choice. Opie says that in his snooty neighborhood he feels somewhat uncomfortable in front of the snobs when he's picking up the Post from his local newsstand. His neighbors are so stuck up they wouldn’t even pick up after their pedigree dogs with a few sheets from that journalistic crapfest.
Have You Ever Loved A Cousin?
This girl on the phone has. She says she had sex with her second cousin... a couple of times... but they were careful because they didn’t want to end up having a Vos-minded baby. Ant suddenly remembers that at one time he had “feelings” for a second cousin, as well. That sure is something, Anthony. I wonder if Ant ever went so far as to slip Granny the tongue.
No, wait. That was Opie! Lingerrrr longerrrr, Preciousssssssss!
The Art Of The Dump Button
A couple of more people call in about Cousin Love... including one named Art who can’t stop cursing. What a potty-mouthed ass.
Conglomerated Sam Is In Studio
He went with Erock yesterday to a big WWE event. Fellow wrestling fanatic Erik showed up late after undergoing a root canal... all strung out on Vicodin. Poor Erock! The place was FULL of food... appetizers, mini cheeseburgers, and all sorts of nummies... but he had been told by his dentist that he shouldn’t eat anything for 24 hours. NO SLIDERS FOR PORKY!
“All due respect,” Erock...”All due respect.”
No Surprises Here
Forbes Magazine published a list of the Top Ten Most Miserable Cities In The US. Sounds like fun.
#10 - Providence, RI. #9 - Charlotte, NC. #8 - Modesto, CA. #7 - Los Angeles, CA.
#6 - Chicago, IL. #5 - Philadelphia, PA. #4 - New York, NY. #3 - Flint, MI.
#2 - Stockton, CA. #1 - Detroit, MI.
Why isn't Bay Shore on that list?
Oh, that's right. Bay Shore isn't big enough to be a city. Just big enough to suck a mean one.
7:00
Norton’s Most Admired Murderers
Jimmy doesn’t like serial killers... he LOVES them! You may wonder who his favorites are. We’ll tell you...
A close third is Artie Shawcross, who killed women in western NY, as well as some children.
Op says Artie used to show up at some of Brother Wease’s radio events. Ant is sure that the Opie and Anthony show has some horrible murderers and sociopaths listening in. Jimmy remembers a few more li’l facts about Shawcross that were tucked away in his scary memory.
Norton sure is a creepy little feller.
PLEASE, Opie! Not ANOTHER ONE!
SUPER BOWL SONG! This is another dreadful pile of garbage recorded by a group calling themselves NineteenAndZero. The vocalist is a woman who sounds like a third-rate Fiona Apple.
Turn it off.
Turn it off. TURN IT OFF!!!
7:30
Tranny Loving Thespian?
Jimmy tells the boys about his experiences while shooting scenes for Kevin Smith’s new movie a couple of days ago. Jim wasn’t shown the dialogue until the scene was being shot, PLUS, he was supposed to be in a scene with Seth Rogan… who wasn’t actually there. They set up a pink X for Jimmy to look at and talk to while the cameras rolled. It was a bit difficult for our li’l Jimmy, but he kept his chinless chin up and did his best.
Tubso Has A Crush?
Op brings up Bob Kelly’s huge “ManCrush” on Tom Brady... and Derrick put together a delightful promo exploiting Blob’s infatuation with Brady that makes us all giggle. The guys laugh at the fact that in the audio Bob is so stupid he calls the handkerchief sticking out Tom’s suit pocket a “napkin." Bob, does EVERYTHING you talk about have to somehow relate to EATING, you chubby buffoon.
An Air Canada 767 flying to London had to make an emergency landing in Ireland after the co-pilot had a nervous breakdown. At the time of the flip-out they were flying at 37,000 feet over the Atlantic. Passengers and crew members had to restrain the nutjob by tying him to a chair. He was taken off the plan in handcuffs and was sent to an Irish loony bin. Yeesh.
Did he see something on the wing? Some... thing... on the wing?
I don’t know about you, but I’m nervous enough as it is on a flight. I’d like to think that the pilots are doing their jobs calmly and to the best of their abilities. I’m sure I won’t think of this story during the next flight I’m on. Oh sure.
What are the symptoms of a possible nervous breakdown?
Disinterest in work or family life. Sleep disruption or much longer periods of sleep. Significant changes in appetite.
Paranoid thoughts including those of people trying to harm you. Persistent anxiety or panic attacks. Hearing voices. Feelings of grandeur or invincibility.
Wait a minute. I have several of those. Ok terrific!
Bob “Slobbo Grande” Kelly once had a huge panic attack on a flight when he found out they had run out of dessert before serving him. Fatty was inconsolable and had to be restrained by the crew. They finally calmed him down by feeding him 17 extra entrées as well as a chocolate milkshake the size of a wastepaper basket.
8:00
Adam Ferrara is in studio. He’ll be at Governor’s on Long Island all weekend.
He's got a new movie coming out called Definitely, Maybe. Check out the trailer.
More Politics...
John McCain has been endorsed by Arnold Schwarzenegger as well as Rudy Giuliani. Obama is endorsed by the NY Post, drunken sot Ted Kennedy, Oprah, and now: Hulk Hogan.
THAT should put him over the top! Way to go, Brother Man.
Has anyone officially endorsed squawking witch Hillary Clinton? Oh yeah. The NY Times.
More Of Anthony’s Paranoia?
Ant thinks Obama is offering nothing more than what the other BSing politicians are. What concerns him is the thought that if elected president Obama may buckle under pressure from someone like the odious Al Sharpton or Blacks demanding he submit to their agenda. Let's just say that "Anthony is concerned." Sometimes Ant worries, Bev... Sometimes Ant worries ALOT.
Any Stephen King fans reading this?
Anthony is worried that President Obama would bring back alot of old social programs...basically amounting to welfare for his constituency. How can one man make so many drastic changes? Ant thinks Obama will have alot more leeway and power because Congress will support most of his policies so they don't appear to be racist.
Interesting theory, Herr von Cumia.
8:30
A Black gentleman named Reuben calls in saying that he can't understand why Anthony's getting so worked up over one Black man, but Ant had explained his reasoning before. If Obama IS elected, Ant says "All bets are off: We're EVEN!" To him it will signify that Blacks are no longer oppressed, especially if one can be elected to the highest office in the country. So American Blacks are movin' on up?
Sorta like The Jeffersons. Weezy!
No matter what anyone says, Anthony thinks most Blacks are supporting Obama based solely on his race.
Hungry Puppy
Some guy calls in with a story about a man in Lexington KY, who is paralyzed from the waist down. While asleep he had 4 of his toes chewed off by a 5 month old pit bull puppy. Didn't he feed the stupid dog before bed?
It's a good thing the guy didn't fall asleep naked. Wocka Wocka!
Blah Blah Bleccchhh
Two female CNN news anchors were chit-chatting with each other during a broadcast while a Black gentleman who works with them was off camera. The subject was "getting away from it all" to an tropical island and they said they'd bring the guy... and together the three of them would make a sandwich...which one of the girls referred to as a "reverse Oreo."
Will there be a firing? WHO CARES about harmless comments like this? Poor Don Imus was fired for a meaningless joke. What about these three lame jokesters?
Op ends the show with a tip for us all: Be careful with the tadpoling!
Thanks, pal.
That's enough stupidity for one day. Seeya tomorrow.
------------------------------------------ Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics & edits by Joe C.
Jimmy says he was getting panicky text messages from Steve C. last night on into 6AM this morning. "Will you be able to make it in!? Grrr! Did you tell Kevin Smith that Foundry would love to do a song for the film? Why do you choose to ignore the adam's apple? I find that's the hottest part."
Poor Steve.
Incredibly stupid Rich Vos says he had a cyst on one of his kidneys, proving that even his own internal organs want that shlub dead. When Vos first heard about his problem the doctor had to explain to Rich that a cyst was not in any way the same thing as a personal assistant. "But doc... you personally told me I had ‘assist’."
O&A play some pathetic news audio about this pointless story and we are all a little sickened. Ant points out that even though the anchors think this is a stupid story they’re still giving it air time.
Good point, sir... good point.
Spit It Out, Rubber Tongue
Finally, someone the Mayor can relate to...
Dumber-than-dirt Boston Mayor Tom Menino is taking some flack from New England fans for prematurely announcing plans for a victory parade next Tuesday. Superstitious fans are worried that the moronic mayor's plans will put a jinx on their beloved team. To add an extra layer of stupidity, the parade is planned for Super Tuesdeee... and some people are worried it will keep many from going to vote in the presidential primaries.
Vote Quimby!
The Boston Herald is chock full o' stories today... most of them crappy. Some douche asked Tom Brady if he ever took panties from his sister's friends when they were over. That's WACKY!!! What awful radio show did that questioner come from?
Blubbery Boston lover Bob Kelly says he has a huge crush on Tom Brady... then disgustingly explains in detail what he loves about him. Blob says he once met Brady walking out of his lockerroom and almost swooned like a goateed bitch. He wouldn't want to have sex with Tom... just date him. Ok then.
Bob's crush on Tom Brady is nothing compared to the crush he has on the studio couch this morning. I swear I can hear springs snapping.
6:30
Opie says thank God we still have WOW, because this entire country is becoming pussified. Men are constantly being made to look like idiots on TV, in movies, and in advertising... unless they're Black, in which case they are the "cool, up to date, informed ones" who are strong and show Whitey how it's meant to be done.
We all know that's exactly how it is in real life, right guys?
Guys? Hello? HELLO?
Back to that awful ManCrush.com list of the Top 10 ManCrush targets...
#9 Abraham Lincoln. I guess guys can't get enough of stovepipe hats and facial warts. #8 George Washington, because who doesn't love a man in a powdered wig? #7 Charles Darwin, just because George Bush says he's wrong.
#6 William Shakespeare, because nobody else in history could make murder and incest sound so poetic. #5 Ernest Hemingway. A guy who scribbled out a few books, spent the rest of his life drunk, then blew his weary brains out. NICE! #4 Teddy Roosevelt: A man who actually went and kicked ass PERSONALLY. #3 Elvis Presley: Drugs, Underage Girls and falling face-First off the crapper as he died. What's not to like?
#2 Barack Obama: Anthony Cumia's Well Spoken Nightmare. #1 Jesus Christ: Holey Hands, Holey Feet, and Holy Crap... where the hell have you been for the past 2000 years?
That sure is some nonsensical list.
I'm The Most Convincing Liar, So Vote For Me!
In yesterday’s presidential primary in Florida John McCain was the clear winner for the Republicans… with Rudy “Lisping Comb-overed Cancer Boy” coming in third and unofficially dropping out of the race.
Hillary “Sow Hocks” Clinton won for the Democrats, but it doesn’t really matter because she doesn’t pick up enough delegates to make much difference in her chances for nomination. After a couple of weeks where she at least ATTEMPTED to speak like a normal human being, Hillary has gone back to her robotic “Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!” delivery... which is the same voice that drove husband Bill to seek out chubby female staffers to use as his personal humidors.
Hey Romeo! Where For Art Youse?
The jackass Vos talks a little about his acting experiences, and is deservedly mocked. Rich tells us that after one audition the producers told him they never needed to see him again.
Hey Op! Did you ever think it could be that easy? TRY IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! TRY IT!
Knight Rider Contest?
Wait. What? Enter to win a trip to party at The Playboy Mansion with our own Conglomerated Sam and show favorite Big A. Good luck getting any of the ladies with Big A in town! In other words, make sure you get to them before he murders them all and dismembers their bodies.
So many places for Big A to hide the 55 gallon drums....
7:00
Norton is back from shooting some scenes with Kevin Smith in Pittsburgh, which he describes in less than glowing terms. I believe it was something akin to “it’s like Ireland, but with abandoned steel mills all over the place”. Hmmm In case you weren’t disturbed by it yesterday, Opie decides we need to hear the audio of that musclehead who is deeply impressed by himself.
It sure is something.
Yesterday over at “the other place” the guys played audio PROVING that the old shows from WAAF were NOT better than today’s show we all know and enjoy. O&A played audio (from a cassette Opie discovered under his Kajagoogoo remix tape) of what happened after their “Real Rock TV” show was deemed too risqué and cancelled by local station WABU, which was to air it. The bit was supposed to be O&A going up in a blimp (NOT Bob Kelly) and dropping paint filled balloons and bras on the roof of that station. How zany!
Bob Kelly could have easily been part of this bit...
When Opie got home yesterday his lovely fiancée asked him WHY he loves making people, as well as himself, so uncomfortable. Who the hell can tell?
Excerpts of the tape are played, and Op compares himself and Ant to “John Tesh on acid.” I have no words to describe how I feel about that.
7:30
Back To The Tape!
We discover that Opie was REALLY trying to push a few catchphrases into the vernacular of his fans, including the revolting “Brother Man.”
Vos, Bob, and Jimmy pick the bit apart as the word “dude” is used over and over in the recording. The 1996 versions of Opie and Anthony claim they are in full military regalia and act as though they are heading off to war. If there was ANY justice in this world, that war would’ve ended with the two of them committing suicide in a bunker.
The listeners are all over this, and are coming up with a few War Movie Title gems:
“We Were Morons” “Bore-A Bore-A Bore-A” “Band Of Brother Mans” “Black Hawk Downs Syndrome” “Mission Unlistenable”
“Full Metal Jackoffs” “General Hackarthur” “Pearl Horrible” “Rambro” “Bored On The 4th Of July” “Full Metal Hack Bit” “An Officer And A Brother Man” “Bore Of The Worlds” "The Hindenblecccchh"
And of course, there were many more.
8:00
Although the boys are SUPPOSED to be dressed for war in their old bit and floating in a blimp, they still took the time to comment on the lovely foliage, as well as the “State Police” copter that blew them off course. If anything was blowing, it was this hacky bit. And by the way… until I heard this audio and awful special effects I never knew that Bra War Blimps ran on Briggs and Stratton lawnmower engines.
Here is a brief synopsis of the dialogue between Opie and Anthony during this disastrous bit: “Bro! Dude! Bro! Dude! Bro! Dude!” Rinse and repeat.
8:30
The uncomfortable listening continues, and we discover that “the target is in sight.” Is it?
Dude. Man. Bro.
Norton picks up on something very interesting in the audio: Anthony is apparently piloting the blimp. I didn’t realize that was a skill they taught you in Tin Knocker’s School.
In an attempt to distance himself from this horrid recording, Opie keeps pointing out that it was done 12 years ago. Don’t worry, Brother Man... we still like you.
Finally, the suffering ends with a “Mission Accomplished.” Was it? Nevermind the paint filled bras and balloons... this whole bit was a bomb.
I feel so dirty.
If you haven’t had enough of cringy old school O&A, the guys still have the recording of “Sperm Bowl ‘96” for us, but they need a little break before playing that one.
6 months would not be long enough.
These old bits make me wonder if the Writers Strike wasn’t going on even way back in 1996. Painful.
“Bro” - Opie-6, Anthony-1 “Pally” - 1 For Anthony “ Mother Huckers” - Opie-2 1 “Buddy Boy” and 3 “Brother Mans”
A total of about 50 douche-chill inducers.
OK! TERRIFIC!
Well, I could write more on the old bit, but I’m feeling a little nauseous after listening to this a second time. We’ll be back tomorrow with all new material... I hope.
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
Posted: Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wake the F UP!
6:00
Opie went to bed early last night trying to catch up on his sleep. When his lovely fiancée came in to go to bed a couple of hours later he awoke suddenly and started saying, "Alright! I'm getting up!" Poor fella thought it was time to get up and head to work, but it was only midnight. He was able to go back to sleep and dream his little dreamy dreams of tucked-away marshmallows and cruelty to listeners bearing gifts.
Patrice “It’s NOT Only A Girl’s Name” O’Neal (patriceoneal.com)is in today for Jim Norton, who is either shooting a scene for director Kevin Smith or searching a prosthetics supply warehouse for a strap-on chin.
Oh Boring Man! Where Art Thou?
It's been 11 days since K-Rock GM Tom Chiusano suddenly decided he was retiring and leaving the station. The problem is that he was the ONLY person there that was protecting the O&A Show on CBS.
Oh dear. Still, there is no new boss in sight. A little help someone?
The entire staff of the O&A Show should have blood tests done to determine if their T-Cell counts have gone up after 11 days of not being exposed to any of Tom Chiusano's neckties. Someone arrange that. I worry.
Lame Duck
Last night President Bush delivered his final State Of The Union Address. He talked and talked and was his usual boring self, but he tried to come up with a few zingers to get the crowd laughing.
What a cut up.
Bush said something about he whole "no child left behind" pack of lies and the entire thing was hickory dickory dull.
Chappaquiddouche
Drunken Senator Ted “Lady Killer” Kennedy has thrown his support behind presidential candidate Barack Hussein Obama. Ted has the distinction of being the only one of the Kennedy brothers to not die in some tragic way, although it’s rumored the family buried his original liver in a private ceremony up at their Hyannnisport compound sometime during the late 80s.
Lookin' good, Teddy!
Opie would like to get into it, but we’ll wait till after the break so Patrice has time to loudly voice his opinions for a prolonged period of time.
6:30
During the break Patrice started busting on Old-Testament-Bearded Nathaniel and his radio partner Conglomerated Sam.
Thanisyahu.
Op told Patrice to back off a bit. What? Patrice found it funny that “the meanest man in radio” protected his boys.
He’s good like that, Patrice.
Obama said something to a Black audience yesterday along the lines of, “You’ll be able to tell your children that this is a time for change.” Oh boy. Anthony sure didn’t like the way THAT sounded, and once again, he's getting jittery.
Patrice thinks that Ant is picking apart everything Obama says because he’s afraid of having a Black president. Anthony counters saying that he “doesn’t believe Black people are ready for a Black president.” That statement gets Patrice going (honestly, what doesn’t?) and he tells us all that as far as Blacks are concerned, Obama isn’t Black ENOUGH.
Anthony thinks he’s PLENTY Black, and has a problem with him because of all the useless and expensive social programs he’s afraid Obama will get behind if he’s elected. Quite the debate ensued and I loffed and loffed. I certainly enjoy a good “discussion” between Ant and Patrice, who totally distrust each other’s motives… with good reason.
Wonderful.
7:00
Super Bore
Tom Brady’s still walking around with that foot thing on his foot. Patrice believes that even if Brady IS actually hurt it won’t do much harm to his game, because he doesn’t run much… he takes a few steps back and looks for someone to throw to. This is very similar to Patrice’s on-air technique of leaning back in his chair and looking for something to shriek at Anthony about.
WBCN up in Boston is playing a Patriots song called, “When I Say Patriots.” The “artists" are some creatures named "The Wack Ass Egyptians."
It is simply awful...
Why is New Jersey’s ex-governor McGreevey writing songs supporting the Pats? Maybe he’s just WILD about Brady!
Since we’re talking about terrible team songs, Opie brings up the 80s nightmare, “Let’s Go, Mets Go!” the video of which features an image of Howard Stern in the “celebrity” appearances that he’d wish the public would forget.
Nice hair, Ass Face.
7:30
I WAS doing fine before this song...
Op brings us back from break with the rancid “How Ya Doin’” song that celebrates the New York Yankees.
I used to tolerate the Yanks. This song makes me hate them.
Subway Shenanigans In Boston
The Red Line up in "Beantown" (eccchhhhhhh!) is known for being host to many gropings and fondlings. Ladies! Please stay off that train! Op wants to read the entire article which is a big story up in Boston this morning, but he’s trying to be a bit careful not to get dumped. We wouldn’t want ol’ Jivin to sprain his dump digit.
A few women call in with their experiences with men “tadpoling” all over themselves while ogling the ladies on that train of iniquity.
Attention! Patrice will be appearing in Tampa Thursday, Friday, and Saturday… and NO, Anthony… NOT in a police line up. He’ll be at the Tampa Improv. Go check him out.
8:00
Bang Bang, You’re Insane
Anthony went to the gun range last night and shot off a couple of hundred rounds. A few black gentlemen there loved the brand new FS2000 he was using. Ant said that they were using the highest caliber handguns you could imagine, and just blowing away the paper target they were shooting at.
Here's Ant...
Back To The Perv Line
More women call in with their “encounters with a perv” stories. One go-getter tells Ant that she’d LOVE to ride a train with him… just hoping that he’d expose himself to her. Ok Terrific!
Is That A Sushi Roll In Your Pants…
Some guy calls to say that in Japan the actually have pink “female only” train cars during rush hour so women don’t have to put up with harassment from horny Sumo wrestlers.
On PalTalk we debated what such trains would be called: A “Box Car?” The "Tuna Trolley?" The "Trout Coach?" Make up your own!
Another account tells of a guy who was actually rubbing himself against women until he was “done.” Yeccccchh! What a classy gentleman.
The guys talk about “The Perv Switch,” and whether or not women would give up dressing hot if it would mean they were no longer viewed as objects of men’s fantasies.
When did women stop wearing nice outfits when working out? Opie says he’s been an athlete for years and he does not like the fact that women now wear those awful sports bras when they go to the gym. Let ‘em jiggle around! It gives the men a reason to actually work out.
By the way, Op… Having frequent cases of Jock Itch
is NOT enough reason to consider yourself an athlete.
Back in the Good Old Days of Women’s Exercise, ladies wore much better outfits. Can we PLEASE get back to something like these?
Honey! Why so much padding?
Better... but do I detect a sports bra under that tee?
Anthony says that hot girls like to be looked at, and some girl named Lauren calls in says that even though SHE is hot she doesn’t like being looked at that way. Patrice asks her that if men STOP looking at her that way, what else does she have to offer to make him bother with her? She doesn’t like that question, so to show them she really IS hot she gives the boys the name of her MySpace name. O&A think she looks ok in her main picture, but all agree she may be using a little “MySpace Voodoo.”
Lingeeeeeeeeeeee Looooooooooooolooooooooooo!
Op tells her she has a sexy voice, which pleases her quite a bit… proving this lying girl indeed likes it when men notice her. Our Opie is a clever Opie.
There are plenty o’ gals calling in today, so Op has a new Theme Day: Slit Tuesday!
8:30
What Planet Are YOU From, Toots?
A woman called Antionette calls in says she doesn’t believe that guys enjoy seeing big breasts jiggling around when women work out. Is she dumb??
Opie blames The Leotard for starting the trend of women wearing unsexy clothes while exercising.
It's over, Johnny! IT'S OVER!
Stupid Olivia Newton John is partially to blame. A Godawful headband and 4 lbs of Vaseline on the camera lens. NICE!
Op says that no matter what kind of physical disaster a girl might be, he’s flattered if she’s flirty and attracted to him. Ant says that it’s always the massively fat chicks who are attracted to him during signings or fan events.
Lucky Anthony!
These Ladies Love Tony Cumia!
He points out that the one who always attracts the cute girls is the most awful and perverted out of anyone on the show: Little Jimmy Norton.
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
It's Monday, and I hate it...
6:00
They guys bring up a couple of "Monday" themed songs, including "I Don't Like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats. It's one of those tunes that have really messed up lyrics if you bother paying attention to them. The song's about a girl who goes into school and starts shooting. Her excuse? She doesn't like Mondays.
Bay Shore Disclaimer: Even though you may find that Mondays are not your favorite thing, I advise you to NOT shoot up your school or place of employment. I DO NOT condone that type of action, nor does O&A or any of their affiliates encourage anyone to participate in school or workplace shootings as a shooter nor as a victim of a shooting. I have no opinion on knife attacks.
Thank you.
Well, It Certainly Took Long Enough...
Opie brought in a long awaited picture of himself dressed as an early career character named "Spuds Buckley." Op had his choice between that persona or having to dress up for bar gigs as Strawberry Shortcake. Did he make the right choice?
YOU be the judge... Opie, is THAT you?!?
In his box of newly rediscovered career mementos Opie has found a letter from their former tool of a PD, Dave Dickless. He wants to have it scanned and put up, along with a bunch of old audio, on one of the many O&A sites in a section called "Old School O&A."
Prepare yourselves!
Things That Go Hiss In The Night
Last night Anthony was watching a movie in bed... and heard the chair he leans up against the basement door crash over. Ant then looked up and noticed he hadn't set his alarm (or his melanin detector). Herr Cumia grabbed his shotgun and went goosestepping around the house, including the basement, looking for an intruder.
What did he discover? His cat JackJack, rumored to have been given to Ant and Mellinda by a common listener, was the one responsible for knocking over the chair. Ant sat down and had a father/cat talk with his feline friend, and explained to him that if it happened again he would have no choice but to have JackJack "shipped east," whatever that means.
Was the chair knocked over leaving the door less secure in order to prepare for an invasion of more alien cats? Perhaps we'll never know, since Ant quickly foiled evil JackJack's plans. Good work, Anthony!
See? Opie was right all along. Keep an eye on those li'l bastards.
Anthony had been watching "No Country For Old Men" when the chair-crash happened. In general, Ant enjoyed the movie, but he couldn't stop staring at the hair of the villain in the film after hearing Jimmy talk about it being so "tusslable." Is it, Jim? The guy's hair style is a cross between a Prince Valiant and the shaggy Pete Rose 'tard cut.
To paraphrase one of Norton's own jokes, I'd like to see that guy's hair "tussled" the same way JFK's hair was one fine day in Dallas.
6:30
I Left My WHAT In San Francisco?
Some guy calls in saying that the O&A Show will be off the air in San Francisco as of March. Op says the PD can't wait to get rid of all the syndicated shows. Imagine what sort of local programming they'll end up with. It serves them right for not supporting the show.
Goodbye, and dare I say it? GOOD RIDDANCE!
Guns, Girls, and SHOWTUNES??
Anthony says he had a VERY manly Friday: He went to the shooting range to try out his brand new FS2000 semi automatic bang bang. Later that night he went out for drinks with the crew from MyRadioStore, shot some pool, and then headed to a couple of strip clubs.
He created quite a stir at one of the clubs because there were some girls working there that he just didn't want to tip for one reason or another.
DING! DING! DING!!! What was up with the technique employed now by some of the girls, where they plant themselves in front of the customer and stand there waiting for a tip? Here's a dollar, Toots. Go leave yeast deposits on somebody else's lap.
Stalker Patti's intimate after-shower powder?
Mellinda even gave Ant some advice about certain methods he should use in the club. What a good girl. Sounds like a fun night, right? Well then, Anthony MUST'VE continued his rugged, manly ways the next night, right? Not on your life, Potato Head. SOMEHOW he allowed himself to be dragged to a Broadway adaptation of The Little Mermaid. ECCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH! Didn't he get enough of women who smelled like low tide at the Anchovy Hatchery the night before?
He's got a new book out: My Fighting Life. Norton says he's reading it and is really enjoying it... mainly because it has a nice section of color pictures.
Ahhh, Jimmy! Always keeping it simple.
The guys talk with Chuck about some of the guys he's fought against, and the one guy who will not fight him: Tito Ortiz. Liddell has a less than respectful manner about him when he talks about Tito, but keeps it mostly polite.
Chuck is also promoting UFC 81 this Saturday, February 2nd at 8PM.
Someone calls in and says Chuck has to tell the story about a street fight he got into some years ago. Before going over to wipe the road with his opponent, Chuck carefully removed his new wrist watch... the first nice one he'd ever owned... and put it in his pocket so he wouldn't mess it up by getting teeth, hair, and blood clots matted onto it.
Imagine seeing Chuck walking over to you, casually removing his wrist watch. It's something I hope I never have to see.
Blub Kelly comes into the studio to meet Chuck, and talks about HIS martial arts training, including the time he split his karate gi while diving for an egg roll.
Little known fact: Bob recently earned a 5th degree Asteroid Belt in Kung Moo.
Congrats, Bob!
7:30
Opie says that Chuck was a really cool guy, but nobody in the studio was brave enough to point out to him that his breathing into the microphone was louder than Bob Kelly's panting after walking up three flights of stairs.
Nick DiPaolo is in studio, and the guys talk to him about his well known habit of verbally abusing hecklers. Nick had a very funny show right here on K-Rock's former self (Free FM), but it was cancelled to make room for 5-7 songs every hour by the Beastie Boys.
Zeppelin-bodied comedian Bob Kelly puts down his six foot hoagie long enough to talk about his show at The Stress Factory this past Saturday. Apparently a couple of goons from Staten Island were in the audience and were getting a little out of line with our friend, Pigzo Kelly... while the place was packed with savage O&A fans who were poised to take matters into their own hands if the loudmouth clowns made any sort of move against their pudgy pal, Bobby.
Warning to the Pests: Make sure you know the difference between someone attacking Bob and someone simply being sucked in by his gravitational field. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
8:00
Nick DiPaolo says he loves watching the Clintons now "after spending their entire careers kissing Black ass they've been abandoned" by those same people who are wholeheartedly supporting Barack Obama over that be-cankled crone Hillary.
The guys all discuss something that has come up before... the fact that the entire primary is all about race: Blacks are voting for Obama because he's the Black candidate, and some Whites are voting for him thinking they are cool and ultra-liberal for supporting the Black fella.
The man is a dullard.
Hey! Howabout that Super Bowl? Is it over yet?
The hype continues in the papers over "the big game" happening next Sunday. Most people are wondering if Erock will be bringing over any of his "Direct To Dumpster Hot Wings" to Opie's Super Bowl Party. Lingerrrrrrrrr lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggllllll!
- For some moronic reason, the NY Post is pondering who is sexier: Tom Brady or Eli Manning. I hope an asteroid breaks away from Bob Kelly's belt and demolishes the Post headquarters.
- Some asshat Boston Sportscaster was talking about his hate of the Giants, which he bases upon his loathing of the NY media and the fans in the NY area. He is convinced that the Giants will get the crap beat out of them next weekend.
Go eat some chowder, you pompous Boston jackass. Faneuil Hall is for sissies.
A Phone Call From 1986
Some sow named Alice calls in to talk to "Howard," telling the boys that her husband has listened to him for years. Anthony goes into a great HooHoo impression while everyone else just titters like little children in the background. Stupid Alice finally has enough and hangs up... but not until she is mocked and taunted by Anthony in a Stern manner. Tell 'em, Fred!
Very funny, Mr Cumia.
8:30
A Kinder, Gentler Sports Curse?
A listener points out that since Opie has been yelling 'Go Pats, Go' over the past few weeks, the team has gone just 1 in 8 against the spread. Could there be something to this? I think Op's sports curse was so overused during the regular season and from rooting for The NY Islanders it needs a few months to recover its awful potency.
Jimmy hopes this doesn't lead to idiots calling for it to be banned. Where else would he find large adam's appled "massage therapists"? Bob Kelly's not worried as long as nobody says anything negative against his favorite site for online perusing, "Craig's Menu."
Yes, Bobby! So many choices... so many chins.
Another Stunner...
An Iowa man went out to take his dog for a walk, then came home to find a naked guy in his home before calling the police. The cops found the 18 year old intruder's clothes and the pot he had hidden in them. Why does it not surprise me that this story had something to do with drugs?
Want To Show An Ass? That'll Cost Ya...
The FCC has proposed a fine aginst the ABC network and the series NYPD Blue (which is no longer in production) in the amount of $1.43 MILLION for showing an actress' butt-cheeks in a 2003 episode. Way to keep things current, you bureacratic s***heels.
The only thing I find objectionable is her wrinkled forehead. Does this country have enough friggin' hang ups?
GROW UP, CHILDREN.
Enjoy your Mundeeee, everyone. We'll seeya tomorrow if you're lucky.
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore
Posted: Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
It's Frideee! Still no boss!
6:00
Awwwwww! Poor Li'l Jimmy! He's VERY under the weather this morning... It's better than under the porch, I suppose.
Lingerrrr Longerrrrr!
Opie brought in a leather jacket today and Steve C. and Conglomerated Sam are trying it on. It's a wee bit tight on that Musclebound Production Goon... and makes Sam look like an extra from The Streets Of San Francisco.
Spuds!
Finally, Op admitted to having a picture of himself in the character of Spuds Buckley. He promises to bring it in next week, so we're hoping to post it here in the rundown. Check back! Also located was a cassette tape of two shows O&A did up at WAAF in 1996. Op said this will prove that they were NOT better in ye oldern days.
From OApedia: Spuds Buckley
Spuds Buckley was an on-air character performed by Opie during his stint in Buffalo. There is a lot of curiousity on the part of Anthony and the entire Opie and Anthony fanbase on this topic, but Opie swears that no tape exists of Spuds Buckley in action. According to Opie, E-Rock was unknowingly in possession of a picture of Opie as Spuds Buckley, but Opie got to it first and got rid of it.
There is also audio of them planning to "bomb" a TV station with bras from a hot air balloon. WHAT? It seems the station had the nerve to cancel the O&A vehicle, "Real Rock TV."
This balloon provided the inspiration for many of Tom Chiusano's ties.
oOOOoOOOoOoOoO!
Opie has hundreds of tapes that he wants put up a couple at a time onto some of the show sites and hawk it as "Old School O&A." NICE!
ATTENTION!
To all the people who are always bitching on the message boards that the 'NEW show was the glory days for the boys: Opie says that it only SEEMS that way because the only bits they made available are the ones they considered the BEST of the lot. There were plenty of other shows that have been hidden away because they were so forgettable.
Therefore, shut up and stop complaining!
6:30
NEWS UPDATE!
Heath Ledger is STILL dead... but is he NUDE? Quite frankly, I don't care.
The only interesting bit of the story at this point is whether or not Mary-Kate Olsen was involved in any shenanigans. And that masseuse seems really odd, as well. Did she give Heath the ultimate Unhappy Ending?
O&A Staff pathologist Jimcy still thinks it's a case of MURDER!
Larry, King Of The Softball Questions
CNN codger Larry King was interviewing people last night about their thoughts and remembrances of Heath Ledger. The boys play audio of a few of his inane questions, including: "How big of a story is this in NY?" Well, Larry, we hardly knew anything had happened. It's all been so hush hush. ASSHAT!
I can't find video of LAST night's show, but here's Larry talking with a few B-listers about Heath's death...
Fascinating stuff. The guy really has a knack for being funny.
I think that stupid Rich Vos might be ghostwriting for this ass.
Check out another example of The Ultimate Warrior being an embarrassment...
Well, after seeing that how could you NOT value his opinion?
7:00
Jimmy is PISSED! The WWE provided an alleged breakfast spread for the studio... but it's all stale baked products: Bad doughnuts, mini-beggles (to use Op's word) and not a beverage in sight. Howabout a couple of eggs or some juice to go with this starchy smorgasbord? Cheap bastards!
The entire studio is less than pleased with the crappy grub, and in a very terse letter to WWE President Vince McMahon they make their feelings known. I'd transcribe the letter here, but for some reason Erock say's I can't. I don't want to defy Erock, because sometimes when we're alone together he hurts me. Why ya gotta be like that, Erik?
Ok! Terrific!
Thar She Blows!
Bob Kelly just blubbed his way into the studio, looking like he'll soon be taking up residence in Moonachie, NJ. Pat, do you have room in that disaster of a trailer for tubby Bob? Scratch that idea. I just remembered that the floor of that almost 40 year old trailer would never support Mr. Kelly and his oleaginous breasts.
Bob, never one to turn his 6 foot wide back on food, makes use of the buffet's dried up offerings, but is sadly disappointed when he finds out there is none of the krill he's grown so fond of over these past few years.
"Ahhhh... them's good eatin'!" - Slob Kelly
Erock has taken some audio from the 'AAF tape Op brought in and a couple of clips are played, including Opie referring to the Stone Temple Pilots as S.T.PEEeEeeeEeEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Wow. Just... wow.
7:30
Opie is CRINGING because the Instant Feedbacks he's reading are ripping him for the 'AAF clips they played. The ever supportive Jim "Touch Me There" Norton says that his own early TV work is equally, if not more embarrassing.
More awful Larry King audio is played, which prompts Blob Kelly to reveal that in his acting class he's going to be doing a scene from Brokeback Mountain. I suggest it be renamed "Bloatback Mountain" so Bob can gluttinously utter the line, "I wish I knew how to quit food."
Back to Larry, who asks his guests nothing but simple and meaningless questions that nobody cares to hear the answers to.
8:00
Are You SURE You Won't Have a Li'l Something?
The breakfast sent in by the WWE is so lousy that Tim the Production Guy, who Opie says hasn't missed too many meals, doesn't want anything to do with it. I'm sure Roland managed to make some use of it. That kid's got moxie. Or something.
Comedic whiner Jeffrey Ross is in studio eating what seems to be a three day old bagel.
Hey Jeff! If the commentary on PalTalk during Jeff's appearance is any indication, that stale bagel is too good for ya!
He really seems to have pissed a lot of the fans off during his last appearance when he bitched, moaned, and complained about not being given enough time to promote himself when documentarian Ken Burns was on the show.
Deal with it, Jeff.
Ross is still drunk from the birthday party thrown for Dave Attell last night. I wish they had shown him the 2girls1cup video to make him throw up. Did he see that the last time he was on?
Opie says that NASA is claiming the rocks and shadows that make up the image are only a couple of inches tall.
NO APOLOGY FOR YOU, GLOOP BOY!
Let's not forget, Blub also claims to have seen a werewolf in broad daylight when he was "entertaining" the troops in Iraq a couple of years ago. He is taunted mercilessly.
Good.
Is THIS sort of what he saw? I think Bob's been smoking too much Ham.
Even though Bob Kelly is known for bringing nothing to the table other than his seemingly unsatisfyable hunger, this morning he's brought a couple of Patriots songs from the 80's that are SO terrible that anyone involved in their production should be hunted down and slaughtered without the slightest hint of regret.
The first one up is a collection of semi-musical noises so offensive that, based just upon this, the Patriots deserve to lose.
Ladies and Gentleman, The Opie and Anthony Show is ashamed to present:
"New England, The Patriots, And Me" Prepare yourself.
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
The awfulness of this song brings up the subject of other football/ Super Bowl tunes, including the Chicago Bears' Super Bowl Shuffle ( it's in yesterday's rundown). But which came first? The Super Bowl Shuffle, or The Curly Shuffle?
It was the Curly Shuffle...
After seeing this you have to wonder why ANY type of shuffling was ever allowed again.
Another piece of crap Patriots song is "Skin The Bears"
What in the name of God??
ECCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
8:30
The show comes back from break with the theme song from the 1965 TV show "My Mother The Car," which Ant referenced during the last break.
Opie declares, with good reason, that based solely on this song they should NEVER settle the writers strike... just on principle.
I agree.
Speaking of bad songs, here's a mysterious one. Who is it? It's a song called "Don't You Want My Love?". Op says that the guy was a failed rock wannabe, but is now very successful doing something else.
Well, it's that Criss Angel guy!
Here he is...
What a DOUCHE!
In their usual roundabout way, the guys arrive at the subject of Al Pacino's voice, which has transformed from fairly smooth and softspoken to a gravelly bellow.
What gives, Al?
Classic Al:
More recently:
Even worse:
Have a great weekend, everyone.
We'll be back Monday with at least one laugh.
Sound the Wacky Horn!! CBS!!!!
---------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics & edits by Joe C.
Posted: Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Happy Thursdeeeeeeee!
Well, that sure is some shirt Ant is wearing this morning and everyone lets him know it.
It looks good on you... really.
6:00
Adrift At K-Rock
This is the fourth day without a boss at the station. Who's going to step in and take over Tom Chiusano's role as GM of the station? Rumor has it Anthony would like one of his old war buddies from Paraguay to get the job.
We'll keep you posted!
Opie says that once a week all their former GMs have a meeting and try to get over the psychological trauma of having worked with The Opie and Anthony Show.
It's gonna take a lot more than meetings to get past that.
I know he's not a GM, but how many years of therapy will Erock need to help him process through his daily sufferings on this show? I'm not sure, but I bet cold cuts will be involved.
That kid LOVES a sammich!
This Just In!
Heath Ledger is still dead, but we're not sure if he's still naked. As you recall, the news could not stop reporting over the last couple of days that Ledger was found NUDE!
We get it, we get it. He had no clothes on.
How did Heath die? Opie is of the opinion that autopsy results will show that he died of the "H." Something very fishy was going on after his corpse was found. Why did the masseuse who found him dead make the first phone call after the discovery to Mary-Kate Olsen?
One of these women is Diane Lee, the masseuse.
Olsen's rent-a-cop security people arrived before the police. Did Heath's friend Mary-Kate have her security people remove evidence of drug use from the scene of his death to protect his image or the masseuse? Or perhaps it was such a mystery to her she made that call to make use of the amazing detective work the Olsen Twins are so well known for.
That MUST be it.
TV reporters have been interviewing people who showed up outside Heath's Manhattan apartment to just gawp or pay their useless respects. One idiot woman was quoted as saying she saw Heath 2 MONTHS AGO when he came to eat in the restaurant she works in, and that he seemed "ok."
WHAT?
Everyone is trying anything they can to somehow connect themselves to the story. Why do they bother with this garbage?
Look at how the news media feasts on this wonderful story.
You want to connect yourselves to a story? Go connect yourself to the story of the high rate of suicide at The Golden Gate Bridge.
Anyway, no matter the case nor who's trying to connect themselves to it, Opie really believes some cleaning up at the "crime scene" was done.
What does our ol' pal Li'l Jimmy Norton think happened to Heath? He thinks he died from sleep apnea after taking too large a dose of Ambien which prevented him from waking up and starting to breathe again.
O&A Show pathologist Jimcy thinks that Heath's death is a case of MURDER... and Anthony agrees with him.
Ok! Terrific!
6:30
Wake up!!! Good mornin' Syracuse!
The local news is showing that it's snowing like crazy up there and that they should expect 3 to 4 inches. Is BigA stopping by?
Mrrff err meh!
But WAIT A MINUTE!
Someone in Syracuse calls up saying that it's just flurrying there and that the real snow is happening 15 or 20 miles to the north of them. This is exactly the same thing that happens with the local New York weather. We always hear about the big storm that's set to hit "our area," which to the news means Northern New Jersey or Connecticut.
That guy sure was committed... to jail for 45 days.
Anthony says that when you see a pair of panties sitting on the floor you just get curious. Especially him. In fact... when Ant was 12 he had a "hot first cousin" he was into... but nothing happened between them.
He said he couldn't help it because he was a spirited lad who enjoyed fantasizing about girls. Opie is a bit put off by the idea of cousin-love and says that you should never be with someone if you can "recognize the smell." Which leads us to the next part of Ant's story: One time he was coming out of the bathroom and he noticed his cousin's panties on the floor... he picked them up and just HAD to take a peek inside.
Op and Jimmy give Ant exactly the verbal beating he deserved for that one.
Anthony was so taken with his cousin that he once carved their initials onto a Panzerfaust.
Wow. He MUST'VE loved her!
7:00
Opie says GOOD MORNING to all the unknown listeners... which has always sorta creeped him out. For all he knows he could be sending his best wishes to a serial killer as he's sitting home sharpening his ax.
Perhaps more than that!
But Op! How DO you get yourself to imagine who your average listeners are? Some asshat PD years ago had an idea: He wanted Op to plaster photos of random people all over the studio so he could better understand who he was supposedly talking to... and then pretend he was speaking directly to them. That was the world's worst idea until Rich Vos made the decision to breed again.
To get around the asinine instructions Op taped pix and centerfolds of neeeyoood women all over the studio.
That kid can be creative.
It's Time For "Guess The Sound!"
Whoever manages to guess the correct answer will win NOTHING! Well, maybe we'll put your name in the rundown and make fun of you. How does that strike ya, stupid?
The sound is something like a chainsaw running and in the middle of it a woman screams.
I've narrowed my personal guesses down to two possibilities:
1) Stalker Patti screaming as her Gynecologist cuts through her yeast membrane to get a peek inside...
OR
2) A woman at a buffet carving station noticing that gluttonous Bob Kelly brought his own high powered slicing instruments... and he thinks her torso is part of the spread.
This Means WHAT?
This morning the Boston Herald is sporting the headline, "This Means WAR!" and is illustrated with a Patriot (get it? yeccchh) Missile going through the logo of the New York Post. I guess they got a little testy after the Post published reasons we should all hate the Pats.
The laughs never seem to stop up at that zany Herald.
This Just In!
Romo dumped THIS?!?!?
Dallas QB Tony Romo has dumped his girlfriend Jessica Simpleton.
Romo's blaming not only himself, but his former relationship saying that it cost him his shot at the Super Bowl as well as his reputation.
Boo Hoo.
Opie brings up the problems Giants season ticket holders are having trying to acquire tickets for the Super Bowl. Ruby Baum, who has been a Giants season ticket holder since 1952, cannot get tickets because he didn't win the lottery that would allow him the chance to purchase them. Is that fair?? The NFL gave the Giants 12,000 tickets in total... only 5,500 of which are made available to the fans. The rest go to corporate sponsors.
Damn! Poor Ruby! I bet now he wishes he didn't take out Oswald before that investigation really got underway.
Just look at that ferbissenah punim! Cheer up, Jackie Boy!
Oh wait. Wrong Ruby.
7:30
Bob Kelly is in studio... mainly because the staff was kind enough to butter any doorframes in the building he'd have to squeeze his gelatinous bulk through.
Now THAT'S teamwork!
By the weight, Blob Kelly will be appearing at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick NJ tonight through Saturday. Go check out the show and watch to see if owner Vinny Brand can actually lure Bob away from the dessert bar and up onto the stage he had specially reinforced for Bob's appearance.
For tickets and reservations call 732-545-HAHA.
Call and find out if Bob's going through one of his "I Gotta Eat Pudding By The Bucketful While Performing" phases. If he is, it's recommended you wear a raincoat. I'm just trying to help.
Super Bowl Songs!
DJ Maverik up in the Boston area wrote a hideous song about the Patriots and how they're going to kick the asses of the Giants. Ok then.
Do you remember? Like 23 years ago??
The Chicago Bears had their awful "Super Bowl Shuffle" song that was all over the place back in 1985.
Seven minutes of auditory hell...
Wow. That sure is something.
Can't Find Good Help These Days
Intern Matt went down to Broome St where Heath Ledger's Apartment Of Death is located in order to interview the "man on the street." What he ends up with are poignant clips of people either curious about what happened or simply touched by the actor's passing.
He says the film has had the biggest opening ever for the month of January. Not bad! The boys talk with TJ about his role and the movie in general. He seems very comfortable just hanging out and talking with everyone. Will it last? Wait till he tries to eat a doughnut without Tubbert Kelly ripping it from his hand. We'll see how comfortable he is THEN!
"Lemme have that doughnut, prettyboy!"
Oh Bob...CONTROL YOURSELF
No Tickets For You!
Ruby Baum is on the phone talking about the fact that he's been unable to get tickets for the Super Bowl... despite the fact that he's been a season ticket holder since 1952, missing only 8 games in that whole time.
Bloated boaster Bob Kelly fatsinuates himself into the conversation by stating chubbily that HE'S been to a Super Bowl. How nice for you, Robert. What he FAILED to mention is that fact that he saw the game as he floated above the stadium wearing a "GOODYEAR" shirt.
Strange... from this angle I can't seem to make out Bob's face.
Ahhh, whaddayagunnado?
In an attempt to be nice, O&A are going to see if they can get Ruby a couple of tickets for The Big Game... which in this case is the contest between Bob and his tailors to see if they can manage to let out his pants faster than he can pack on the tonnage.
Better not explain it to the old fella. I'm not sure if his ticker could take the tension... we all know Bob's belt can't.
Back to TJ!
The guys ask TJ if he's ever had "feelings" for a first cousin the way Ant did. NOPE! No crush or anything? Still the answer is NO.
As a side note, during today's show Bob Kelly had a massive crush on the chair he was sitting on. Is that Bob??
He's the producer of Cloverfield... he is also the man behind the new Star Trek movie that all the geeks are leaking clear stuff over.
Jimmy asks JJ about his TV hit "Lost," which he's a huge fan of. I wonder if Mr. Abrams is interested in hiring Bob Kelly to be Lost character Hurley's stunt double.
Better get that job QUICK, Bob!
You'll be too heavy for the part, soon.
The guys wonder if there will be a sequel to Cloverfield. Maybe. See how informative I am? Blecchh. I stink.
Speaking of that new Star Trek film, T.J. tells a story about meeting Chris Pine, who stars as a young Captain Kirk. Everyone told T.J. that Chris has a great sense of humor, and is really funny. When T.J. went up to meet him he decided to play around and tell him that he was the big star / main guy in Cloverfield and was acting all cocky. Well, Chris didn't realize it was a joke and told everyone what a tool T.J. was. It sounds like Chris' sense of humor is on par with William Shatner's acting ability: It may be there, but it doesn't do him much good.
I believe that's enough from me. Enjoy your night, you rotten people.
------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
It's Whip 'Em Out Wednesday! Get to work, toots!
No Boss = Too many live reads scheduled for one show.
A little help here, Hendry?
6:00
I Didn't Need to See That...
Anthony is pissed off this morning over buses. You may ask, "Steve, why would Ant, normally a very rational man with a collection of semi-automatic weapons, a slight gambling addiction, an ability to put away two bottles of wine on a work night, and an affinity for 'the era' get so worked up over buses? What's that all about?"
Well, I'll tell ya.
A couple of years ago the boys wanted to have buses in NYC and various other locations plastered with huge WOW logos to advertise that the show was back on the air, and to just promote it to people who had never heard the show. The stupid bus companies wouldn't allow the use of the logo once they found out what WOW stood for. It was deemed "too offensive." Die.
Why then do we have to be confronted with horrible images of little foreign cleft palate and lipped monsters on the side of buses? I've even seen the ads about them on LIRR trains.
