Daily Opie and Anthony Show Updates Postings for December 2007
WHAT DID WE LEARN? FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2007
Posted: Friday, December 21, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007 It's Frideeeeeeeeee! 6:00
Dru Boogie is here doing his thing on this last show of 2007.  It's Black Friday on the Opie and Anthony Show! The guys talk about Chris Rock's use of N*##@! which Ant describes as "The A Bomb" of racial epithets. Anthony had another word that was an A Bomb to his ex-wife. I can't type it here, but it's the word that begins with a "C" and ends with an "unt." See if you can piece that together in your mind. Your Mom's WHAT? 
O&A want to have a "regular show" today and avoid any controversy since it's the last show before vacation. They don't enjoy spending their time off worried that they'll have no job to come back to when vacation is up. I can certainly understand that, gentlemen. Last night was the K-Rock Christmas Party and this morning a few people woke up in various locations around the station. Wait. Was there alcohol served at that party? Interesting. My invite? That’s ok. I didn’t want to go to the party, anyway.
OK TERRIFIC! By the way... yesterday at the other place the guys did the "Money Honey" contest: Naked girls covered in honey rolled around on the floor which was strewn with $1 bills. Obviously we can't post the videos here, but check them out on YouTube.
Anthony was not at the K-Rock party last night... he had an online playdate with Than and Travis to play Call Of Duty 4. Ant even put on his headset so he could talk with the other guys during the game. Anthony still cannot get the hang of the X-Box controller... as some of you know, he only likes playing video games on his PC while using an old Enigma Machine as a controller.  That olde technology sure was somethin’! I wonder if Mother realizes that her li'l Thannikins is playing online video games with a known war criminal? If she only knew.
6:30 Don't forget Jim Norton's big show at the North Fork Theater in Westbury at 8 o'clock on New Years Eve. Afterwards we're all going over to FH Riley’s at 400 New York Avenue in the heart of Huntington Village to ring in the new year and possibly have a drink or ten. Be there! The Hughes, Cumia, and Norton Cinema Moment
The new Johnny Depp film "Sweeney Todd" has gotten 87% positive reviews on RottenTomatoes.com. Nice! Jimmy Wonder Our own Jimbo Norton is going in for Lasic surgery today to correct his terrible eyesight. Jim's biggest concern is that he can't go into a steam room for a week. Insert your own "steamer" joke here. Feelin' Blue
 Papa Smurf? Some fella was taking a supposed theraputic spray that contains a silver solution meant to help protect against infection. This jackass decided he was going to rub it around on his face to help clear up a skin condition... and his whole face was dyed a greyish blue color. It looks good on you. No, really Blue Man Douche. It really brings out the jaundice. 7:00
Patrice Oneal is in studio. Someone made up a list of the Top Ten Quotes of 2007... Check it out here.
Someone suggests that “Which Way Is Norf” should be one of the top quotes of the year. Patrice won't accept the idea about a white guy getting knocked out by a black guy during the summer, then waking up to Christmas music playing months later. (ed. note: Yeah nothing on the Google about this.... I dunno...)  O&A tell Patrice about their experiences at Mardi Gras in New Orleans where from a balcony they watched a group of Urban gentlemen molesting young girls as they tried to walk past with their boyfriends... who would be sucker punched if they said anything to the rampaging men.
How nice. 7:30 What are the Opie and Anthony Show quotes of the year? Here are a few:
- "Goodness Gracious!" - "I LOVE the Garlic Butter Saaaaaaaaaaaallggghhhhghhh!" - Erock choking on cinnamon telling Opie to "Shut up!" - Andrew from Brooklyn saying "Spayshulll Endeavrrrrrr" Some girl on PalTalk says that Erock was being mean to her. Erock says she constantly appears to be either on drugs or drunk and she got what was a-comin’ to her. Stop whinin', toots, and get me a beer. Snoozy Snoozy Nap... This Is Crap
K-Rock GM Tom Chiusano sang a little karaoke last night at the Christmas party. The tune? "Just A Gigolo." Nobody's buying it, chummo. Opie's Football Picks are sponsored by Dish Network and are being chosen by Jimmy today. He said them so fast I only got about 3 of them, so I'm not even going to bother including them here. Suffice to say his picks were idiotic and will do nothing more than ruin Opie's chance of winning the football pool. 8:00 Chris Rock is in studio.
Fancy! Patrice talks about auditioning for the role of the father on "Everybody Hates Chris." His acting was very good, according to Chris, but he didn't know the lines. Chris says that basically Patrice was yelling out, "Please don't hire me!" Now the show is ready to start it's 4th season. Way to self destruct, Patrice. Who'd want to be the star of a successful TV show? Patrice says that Anthony wouldn't watch the show even if he WAS on it because he would never watch the "U.P.N-word network."
(ed. note: It's not his fault though. The ghost of Anthony's father would just turn it off. Lingerrrrrrrr longerrrrrr...) Chris Rock is playing MSG New Year's Eve. Tickets are available through TicketMaster. He's playing "The Big Garden," not the 5,000 seat mini-garden. Chris says that early in his career he just wanted to be famous enough to not have to do radio. Heyyyy! They talk a bit about the "comedian's condo" that low rung comics have to stay in when they're doing shows in various cities. They move into a crappy condo reserved for the comedians for the length of their run at the club and if they're lucky perhaps the sheets have been changed.
The guys say that Patrice is a really funny comedian but people hate him as a person, and rightly so. If only he could learn to be nice to the people he works for, he might be a much bigger name in the business. Well, at least he's still a large physical presence. O&A compliment Chris for the way he hosted Oscars and how he blasted the actors. That was adorable. Back on the subject of Patrice getting TV work, Chris says that people who write for him set it up so Patrice can be easily written out of the show.
Nice reputation, Patrice! 8:30ish Chris Rock was voted 5th best comic of all time by the Comedy Central Network. Not too shabby! Chris says he just got back from India where he was shooting some footage for a project of his. His experiences in India can be summed up with this little story: He was in the baggage claim area and he saw a literal pile of crap sitting there. Chris says that when compared to India, Africa is Hershey, PA.
India sounds like a treat. Patrice says that Chris has been “Black Famous” longer than he’s been “White Famous.” Chris says that you can make millions of black people laugh but if you make ONE white guy laugh, he can make you rich. "Ain’t that some s***! " Chris is going over to London to perform right after the New Year. He says that American 80's comic Rich Hall is huge over there.
Interesting. What was Chris’ favorite story of the year?
His fave was “The Female Astronaut In A Diaper.”  That certainly was a good one. She wanted that man. 2Girls1Chris The boys tell Chris about their favorite clip they like to disgust guests with: 2Girls1Cup. They show it to him and he screams, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” They wanted to make sure Chris remembers them and his appearance on the show today.
I bet he will. Well, this is the last rundown till next year... The show will be in best Worst Of mode until January 2nd. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Perhaps I’ll see some of you at Danny’s Birthday Party tonight at Smith’s Bar, 44th and 8th tonight in NYC. The party starts at 9, and for $40 there is an open bar from 9-12. Come on down and have some fun, you lazy bastards!
83! Steve. ---------------------------------------------------------- Rundown Written, Tiled & Grouted by Steve from Bay Shore Links, Photoshops & Edits by Joe C.
In-Studio Photos by Erock Jivin keeps everyone out of trouble Extra help by Christian Animations by Cokelogic Videos by Conglomerated Sam
Steve C. is the Sexy Bear Rich Vos is a moron O&A & Jimmy are to blame. What would we do without them?
 See you next year...?
WHAT DID WE LEARN? THURSDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2007
Posted: Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007 It's Thursdee! All day long. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Screw everyone else's holidays. I'm all for this one. Everyone done shopping? I'm not. Help. 6:00 Opie says that for the moment, Christmas seems pretty pointless. When he has himself a kid or two he'll get back into it again. Op, you just got out of college. No need to rush. Nice work, you dumbasses!
Two young morons in West Islip, NY were arrested for puncturing some of those horrid blow up Christmas lawn ornaments with screwdrivers. The jackasses left a cellphone at the scene and the homeowner followed them when they came back to collect it. Smart! 'Tis the season! You're the caretaker here, Mr Cumia... You've always been the caretaker.
Ant is leaving for Colorado on Saturday... after a big birthday party for Elf-like Danny at Smith's Bar in NYC on Friday night. The party starts at 9PM. Be there, bitches. I think Anthony will be sleeping quite a bit during his flight out West... that is until the plane starts flying sideways. Hey Everybody! I Brought Vermin! Keith The Cop pops into the studio looking for a bigger can of Lysol: Tippy Tom is there, turning the green room brown. He's coming in to stench out a Christmas song...
It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Sewage... Tom wafts into the studio and his odor drives Anthony across the studio over to Erock's area. What the hell is that?! Opie says it smells like rotting apple cider and human waste. Yup. That's Tippy Tom. How The Stench Stole Christmas Tom "sings" a few Christmas classics, turning them into steaming piles of doody. He is then escorted out of the studio... but his miasma remains.
6:30 Opie says that it's the Age Of Steroids in baseball. Get over it, kids. Like everything else, with the exception of Rich Vos' stupidity, it will pass. Big mouthed douche Curt Shilling says that Roger Clemens should give back his Cy Young Awards. Should he? You sir, are a BLABBERMOUTH.
Anchors Are the Worst... In Italy a wolf went into a bar and ate a burger before leaving. That's the story. The idiots on the news made their quips and comments and made us all hate them. "Hungry like the wolf?" You whore.
Opie's wondering how many more billions of dollars the US is about to throw into the war effort. $70 Billion. How does that strike ya? Ya Smelly Bastard!
Tippy Tom is back in studio. Anthony, of course, is not happy. KEEP HIM AWAY! They want to give Tom a new pair of socks and Keith tells him to take his shoes off. His foot is all black and awful. And he has patch of rotting something on his leg. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing. Lucky Dog Erock is made to go over and take a close look... then he pukes up his OJ. When Tom takes off his second shoe we discover he's wearing a black bandana around his ankle.
Everyone is horrified by the nauseating spectacle and Tom utters the understatement of the week: "These tootsies need some work." Yeccccchhhh! 7:00 Tom's legs are in such bad shape the boys are convinced that the next time they see him he'll be in a wheelchair.
Fiddlin' Fool Papa Rock is in studio. He plays around a while with the knobs on his guitar and amp then causes it to make a few noises. That's the whole bit.
7:30 Big-A and Twitchels are in studio... Opie insulted Big-A by telling him he's looking fatter than ever. Rude and RUDE!
Both of them are in studio to review the top news stories of 2007. If either of them could speak even semi-normally the whole segment would've taken five minutes but it goes on and on and on. There are several hilarious moments, and Big-A is less than amused by some of the comments from the people in the studio and the people at home. BigA struggles to finish his reading, and is sweating heavily. Time seems to stand still. 5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR! 8:00
Sandy Kane and the other smelly dregs are back in studio, including cute but empty headed Francine. Francine, Twitchels & Sandy Kane The smell in the studio is so bad that Francine has actually gone white.
Poor Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock is also brought into the studio. What did he ever do to deserve this treatment? Welcome to the show, Mister!
It's Homeless Pyramid! Tom is giving the clues but is too screwed up to realize he's not supposed to include the answers in his clues. This is not working out well, but it's quite funny. So far, there is no score. 8:30
Getting back into the game, none of the teams can manage to get any sort of thing going. After some more play the score remains Zero to Zero to Zero. We all lose. Here's an example of the gameplay: "Under a bridge... street... subway... curb... Penn Station..." Tom couldn't figure out the answer, "Places where you sleep," because he started singing in the middle of the clues. There are reasons that these people are homeless.
Hey Smellmo! Opie offers Tippy Tom $100 in Fives (left over from all those tips you had to give out at your building, Op?) if he strips to his underwear. His legs are a bit too swollen and screwed up to get his pants off easily. Unfortunately for the people still in the studio, he manages to get them down and collects the money. People flee the studio in horror. Come back tomorrow, kids! Chris Rock will be in studio.
After that it's worst of for you fools for a while.. 83! ------------------------------------------------ Written by Steve from Bay Shore who played the position of Left-Out at the K-Rock party. WTF?
Edits and stuff by Joe C. Pics by Joe C. & Erock.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2007
Posted: Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 It's Whip 'Em Out Wednesday!!! Yay! 6:00
Where the hell is Anthony? It seems that Herr Cumia overslept this morning and is stuck in traffic on his way to work as the show begins. Two bottles of wine on a weeknight isn't a good idea if you have to get up at 4AM. That has nothing to do with Ant, I just thought I'd make a point. Would you like antennae with that?
Jimmy was having a meal at a Soho eatery last night and was grossed out when he saw a cockroach crawling down the wall during his meal. His girlfriend screamed when she saw it (don't women always handle things well?) and their waitress hurried over with a towel to get the roach. She was smart enough to switch Jimmy and his girl to a different table, but not smart enough to throw in a free appetizer or dessert to make up for the gross out. O&A Sports Guys... • Speaking of treating your customers badly, a guy was thrown out of a Knicks game last night at Madison Square Garden for holding up a "Fire Isiah" sign. Apparently that's a no-no at that bucket of crap arena. Things should be interesting at the next Knicks home game: Today's NY Daily News printed up their own cut-out "Fire Isiah" signs for fans to hold up during the upcoming blow out of the team. Some fans are even bringing a pink slip.
• Roger Clemens, the man who sends Suzyn Waldman's nethers into spasms of joy has denied EVER using steroids or Human Growth Hormone. What's the big deal? It seems like everyone in baseball is using something. • Moe Howard-Haired ex-baseball player Pete Rose says that players who use steroids are making a mockery of the game. Pete thinks that if some of these guys go into the Hall Of Fame that he should get in, too. Don't bet on it, Petey.
6:30 Ant for 3rd mic! Anthony finally made it in to work after battling traffic and ignoring the speed limit. Ricky Gervais is on the phone...
This guy:  Opie says that when Ricky was in studio, he mistook the "Extras" box set he was promoting as nothing more than deleted scenes from the British version of "The Office." You should know by now that "Extras" is in fact a seperate show. Op, you are the silliest of geese.
With English style, Ricky brings up the O&A suspension that occurred back in May when they had "a tramp" in who said he wanted to do naughty things to a couple of powerful women. Ricky will be doing a live show in the US called "Ricky Gervais Out Of England" in Los Angeles on July 12th at the Kodak Theater and in New York on July 14th and 15th at the WaMu Theater in MSG. Tickets are available at www.ticketmaster.com. He says don't show up if you've seen his other live show, which is essentially the same thing. Now THAT'S honesty.
Jimmy says he saw footage of Ricky live on stage at Wembley in London. Ricky says he was floundering a bit, waiting for Elton John to come out. Rumor has it that Elton had an impacted cucumber that needed to be removed before he could take the stage. To entertain the crowd Ricky did what they were demanding and recreated the atrociously funny dance he did in one episode of "The Office." Fancy man Ricky holds the record for the most downloaded podcast with 8 Million. That's a lot of downloads. The boys tell Ricky how amazing it is that he's had two classic shows of such great quality. He says he'd rather make a show that's 1 million people's favorite show than 20 million people's tenth favorite show. Nice.
7:00 People are following Erock's lead and are taking "The Cinnamon Challenge." Why, you idiots? Why? Dirty Ho Ho Ho
A mall Santa was groped by a woman who was sitting on his lap. He had her arrested for assault. She should've known: Santa only likes being groped by people with BOY parts. Disney: The Tragic Kingdom Some unlucky fella died after riding one of the rollecoasters at Disney World. He was transported to "The Celebration Hospital" where he was declared dead. Disney officials don't like anyone being declared dead in the park... so that doesn't happen until they get the victim off the grounds and into a hospital. After the man was declared dead, "Grimmy The Reaper" transported his lifeless body down to Disney's "Autopsy-Turvy" Morgue and Lounge. If you go to www.findadeath.com you can search for all the deaths that have occurred at Disney. Have fun, kids!
Than says he cried when he was a boy and was taken into The Haunted Mansion at Disney. I think it may have been Mother pinching the young fella... just to be mean. Opie says he cried when he was a kid and visited Howe Caverns in upstate NY. As a result he now breaks gifts listeners bring into the studio for him. Wait. what? 7:30 Some guy who used to work at Disney calls in and claims to have seen a woman lose her toe in an accident. Then he goes on with what he thinks is a punchline: "They took it away in a Toe Truck."
Die, you ass. Poor wittle Erock... Erock reveals that he cried at a Sha Na Na concert when he was a kid. And NO, it was not because the concession stand ran out of Garlic Butter Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllgggggggghgghggh. He cried when horse faced douche "Bowser" came up to young Erik who was seated in the audience and sang directly to him. If that doesn't make a kid cry I don't know what will.
Ha Ha Stupids! Five NFL players were fined by the league for wearing a "Free Michael Vick" t-shirt under his jersey during a game on Sunday. The NFL is known for having the strictest rules in professional sports. No! He's DEAD!
NFL fans have voted murdered player Sean Taylor into the Pro Bowl. Rumor has it they're going to put his ashes in a specially made football then toss it around for awhile. Sweet. Loony See, Loony Do Ant's wonderful video podcast on home defense has inspired people to send in some clips involving guns and gun sales.
Here's a charming one about "Don's Guns." Oh boy. 8:00 News For You's
A middle school coach was arrested for taking his players around and having them arrange lawn reindeer ornaments into naughty positions. That sure is something. Not the smartest move...
A tow truck driver tried to tow a POLICE CAR that was responding to a domestic violence call. The brilliant gentleman claimed it was in retaliation for having recently received a ticket. He locked himself in his truck and radioed that he was surrounded and needed help. WHO could come and help him out of that? The police think that the guy just cracked and had a bit of a breakdown. Are you sure? As far as his job with the towing company goes? He is so fired. Big Boys Cry Too, Ya Know... • Danny admits he himself cried during a Metallica concert about two years ago. He got all misty when the band played a three song encore of tunes they never play live. Ok terrific.
• Opie says that when he was working up in Rochester he saw Lynyrd Skynyrd. He shed a few when the group played "Free Bird" with the dead singer's hat in front of an empty microphone. Do they still do that? • U2 made Ant cry right after 9/11 when they played their song "One" in concert and displayed the names of everyone who died in the attacks. • Jimmy says HE cried at a Black Sabbath reunion show. That would make me cry, too. I would be very upset if I had to sit through that crap. All due respect, Jim. • A bunch of people call up about musical moments that have made them cry. Awwwwwww.
8:30 • Now listeners are calling up about movies that made them cry. A few examples: "Cool Runnings." Ummm... Ok. "Planes Trains and Automobiles." That John Candy could sure tug at the heartstrings. --Although this was only mentioned in passing, I think we should include this story about a man right after Ant's father's heart, if not after his pigment.--
• What musical moments make Roland cry? When his favorite artist, Bruce Springsteen, plays a song he doesn't often do live. I am not a fan of Bruce and nobody cares about that fact about me. • O&A producer Steve C. welled up during the crescendo of one of the songs from the musical "Wicked." Oh Steve. Grrrr, indeed. That's it. I gotta go Christmas shopping.
Seeya tomorrow. ------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2007
Posted: Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 Happy Tuesdee, Kids! 6:00
Crash Boom Bang Some band was in the K-Rock studio last night and broke Opie's chair and headphones... allegedly. Maybe they heard that grotesque recording Op made of that Grammy contender and wanted to hurt him in some little way. While this is only a theory, Opie’s vocal on that song actually damaged several key pieces of my DNA. That ain’t good. Not for me, at least.
All of Jimmy’s “getting in touch” with himself is ruining the show. Li’l Jimmy has recently been enjoying Amy Winehouse. Oh Jimmy. All of this could’ve been avoided had a family friend not gotten “in touch” with Jimmy in a physical sense back when Mother Norton foolishly allowed her cherubic seven year old son to join a group called “The Fondle Scouts.” Mrs. Norton, how could ya?  Because who wants to look at men's pants? Opie had a bit of a problem the other day when he was watching the Pats game with the Philly crew. His fiancee noticed that his workout sweatpants were very stinky in the rear area. That is really disgusting and at the same time very funny. Op says he was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing and to help him get over it he's bringing the sweatpants in so one of the interns can sniff at them awhile. I think Erock gets to decide who the lucky boy will be.
Payback time for Erik. 6:30 The writers strike is still going on but a few late night shows are going to give it a swing without them. Let's see how that works out. I Am Bootleg
Anthony found "I Am Legend" posted online in neat little five minute clips... the whole movie. It looks like it was video taped by a guy with a camcorder. By the time you read this it will probably have been taken down from the site he mentioned but I'm sure it will be available on many other sites. Not that I would ever visit such a site. Not me. No sir. Nope. Anthony's Fireside Chat 
Ant's video Podcast is finally available online at www.lazlow.com. Opie is wondering why Ant decided to make the first video so friggin long: 20 minutes. Op points out that most people browsing online want to see things in quick clips... 5 minutes at the most. Ant defends his position stating that he had a lot to say on the subject of home security and decided that a prolonged rant was what it would take to get his point across. While Mr. Cumia’s diatribe is just shy of coherent, I think you’ll get something out of it. Most likely a few uncomfortable giggles. Opie also says that he's glad the clip is up, because it will take some of the heat off of him for being the guy out of the pair who is seen as a lunatic. Not so fast, Mr. Hughes. It'll take a lot more than one video of a maniac sitting in a blue chair sipping a Jack and Coke to make you appear any less psychotic. "All due respect, sir. All due respect." If an Opie falls in a forest...
 Op got himself a nice 10 foot tall Christmas tree for his new apartment. Do you think any of the rich douches in his building would offer him a hand when he was trying to get it inside? Of course not. Welcome to New York. Opie noticed that a lot of the people in the building were not in the Christmas spirit, since most of them don't celebrate it. Really? In New York? OK TERRIFIC!
When Op finally got the tree into his apartment and set it up the whole thing tipped over because the stand he had wasn't big enough for the giant redwood he just had to have. Nice work, Paul Bunyan. Once again, the guys talk about Anthony's Christmas trip plans and how he's going to be sleeping at a hotel while his girlfriend stays with her family. That's the spirit! I hope Ant doesn't spend Christmas Eve alone in the hotel drinking while reading transcripts of the Nuremberg trials, slowly sinking into a depression. It was long ago, Ant. Nothing you can do about it now. 7:00
What was the top video game of 2007? Anthony's favorite, "Call Of Duty 4" came out late and ended up at number 6 on the list. Opie wanted to tease the list a little and drag it out into a bit, but Ant guesses right away that the #1 game of the year was "Halo 3." So much for that bit. Don't Stone Me Bro Jimmy brings up an article about Muslim brides having surgery to "re-virginize" themselves before marriage.
Many of them have to be able to prove to their husband's family that they are virgins, going so far as to have to show the family bloody sheets after the wedding night. Wow. The women could be stoned to death if they are found to not be virgins on their wedding night. This is so the family of the groom, or even her own, can remove her sin from themselves.  (Above: Public stoning) WHAT?! This is why many Muslim women who have been off to college or lived a Western lifestyle have the surgery that in essence restores their hymen so they can lose it again... this time to their husband.
Some absolute piece of human excrement named George phones up trying to defend the excesses of radical Islam, including stoning to death, by saying that Catholic priests who molest children are worse or on par with Muslim extremists. Ok. We get it. But... The jackass kept repeating himself and hammering the point. He won't condemn any aspect of Islam and won't shut up about the priests. OK then. 7:30
Don't forget Jimmy's show at the North Fork Theater in Westbury at 8:00 on New Year's Eve. We're all heading back to FH Riley's at 400 New York Avenue in the heart of Huntington Village after the show to ring in the new year. Some drinking may occur. New Jersey officially did away with the death penalty that they haven’t actually used since 1963. O&A are unhappy about that, but Jimmy isn't because the finality of the death penalty is what bothers him. If every time someone was convicted and was really guilty it would be one thing, but the problem is that sometimes people are falsely convicted, and if they are put to death then there is really no taking that back. Fair point, sir. Fair point.
Union County NJ: PRISON BREAK!!!! Opie doesn't like prison break stories... he LOVES them!!  He highly recommends taking the Alcatraz tour if you're ever out in San Francisco. I'll do that if I ever make it that far out West. Back to the story!
Two guys removed a block in an outside wall of the Union County Jail and were able to jump 15 feet onto a roof, then climb over a razor wire topped fence. Ouch. Some other go-getter was serving a 270 day sentence on a pot possession charge. While he was being transported in a prison van, the guards had to stop to get a tire repaired. They left the keys in the ignition. The guy stole the van and is now facing felony escape charges. Smart. S-M-R-T Getting back to his visit to Alcatraz, Opie asks what YOUR favorite vacation moment was. One of his was heading down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon to the Colorado river so he and his brother could dip their feet in it. Just make sure you don't erode the path on the way down. They can ticket you for that. I’m not kidding. One of my personal favorite vacation moments was touring the beer halls and beer gardens of Munich 2 years ago. Damn. I want to go back there NOW. Ant, are you up for a trip? We can visit some of your old war buddies. ALLEGEDLY.
8:00 Nice breasts, Pig!  Jimmy is in total disbelief that aged sex symbol Pam Anderson is in a non-working marriage. How could that happen? It simply boggles the groin.
The boys are also wondering why freakishly hideous Michael Jackson has such White looking kids. Granted, the mother is Caucasian but these children look like something out of the Nazi Lebensborn program. Very fishy. Inappropriate bells are ringing... 
Since it’s Christmas time the guys play the classic ‘tard carol, “Ding! Fries Are Done.” Norton says that when the show was off the air for a couple of years he couldn’t listen to that song without getting sentimental-patient pangs for his lost show and salary. Nice work, Boy! Conglomerated Sam brings The Beep Game to traditional Christmas songs. First up is “Rudolf The Red _______ ______r.”
Very funny stuff, li’l feller! 8:30 Lest there be any doubt, Opie is convinced Anthony is insane. Make sure you watch Ant’s paranoid ramblings in his podcast! www.lazlow.com
Stop it already! A kindergartener may be expelled for making a bomb threat. The lil tyke was overheard saying he wanted to put a bomb in a classmate’s backpack. School officials called the sheriff on him. What!? Kids ALWAYS say silly things. I still do, immature ass that I am.
Here’s another head scratcher: A 10 year old girl brought some steak for lunch and packed a steak knife in her bag so she could cut the meat. She was ARRESTED and taken to a juvenile assessment center. Wow. Jimmy says Americans have become a bunch of washwomen who fan themselves and cry out, “Help me! Help me!” The girl is facing felony charges for bringing a weapon into a school and has been suspended for 10 days. WTF? Use some common sense you stupid See-You-Next-Tuesdays. Listeners call in about similar situations they’ve heard about or have had their own children involved in. A teacher says that these situations are arising because school staffs are required to report EVERYTHING. People really need to take more reasonable control of the situation and stop worrying about getting sued. And to you A-holes who keep suing everyone over everything: STOP SUING! You are destroying this country and I hate you all.
Now I’m all pissed off and I’m not even going to go back and add any other comments to this rundown. We’ll be back tomorrow for more mayhem and hopefully some waffles. I love a nice waffle. ---------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, pics and edits by Joe C.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? MONDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2007
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007 It's Monday and NOBODY sounds very awake. Maybe it's just me. 6:00
Football Crap Jimmy's Cowboys lost yesterday, but more importantly the Patriots continued their winning streak by beating the Jets to remain undefeated. The Pats are now 14-0. Chowder and baked beans for everyone! Anthony’s Christmas Plans
Ant and his lovely girl Mellinda are flying out to Grand Junction, Colorado to spend Christmas with her family. According to Anthony, her family can be somewhat hard to take... specifically her sister Jen’s three young sons and her VERY chatty mother. It seems that Mellinda’s mother likes to pipe up right when any movie or TV show gets to the good part... and it’s not like she’s even talking about what they’re watching... she starts blab-a-gabbin’ about silly things and nonsensical jibberish. Something tells me that Ant doesn’t take well to having his concentration broken. He's a changed man since the Battle of the Bulge turned against him. Mellinda’s three nephews have another annoying habit that Ant doesn’t care for. In the middle of the night, one will creep into the bedroom and climb up on someone's chest, peering down at them. If that happened, poor Ant would wake up trying to stifle a scream with images of The Grudge in his head. I don’t think I’d enjoy that, either. How can Ant keep this from happening? Instead of staying with Jen and her family, Anthony has decided that he is going to stay in a hotel while Mellinda stays with her sister. Well then. Opie suggests that Ant should just stay home and join Mellinda and her family for Christmas dinner via PalTalk. That's next year.
While Ant was able to negotiate his way out of staying at the in-laws’ house, he will still have to contend with his flight out to Grand Junction. He couldn’t get the flight he wanted, so instead he’s got to take a connecting flight in one of those li’l puddle jumper prop planes, except no puddles will be jumped... they’ll be flying sideways over the Rocky Mountains getting caught in the updraught. Anthony says last time he took that flight he was popping Xanax like Tic-Tacs. Years ago Anthony’s Stuka was shot down over the English Channel, and since then he gets a li’l jumpy in small planes. 6:30 Opie was at Ron and Fez’s Christmas party in a creepy part of Brooklyn on Saturday night. He was convinced that when he got back to his car it would have been burglarized, but he shouldn’t have worried: Black Earl was already at the party and not out causing trouble. Damn Fogelberg!
He's dead. Opie recalls his roommate back in college who would often play Dan Fogelberg’s depressing songs and it would creep him out. The boys analyze a few of his songs, including “The Leader Of The Band”, which is picked apart lyrically to great comedic effect. Seems ol’ Dan’s grandfather was a cabinet maker who was, according to Jimmy, known for his crappy workmanship and fall-apart cabinetry. Throw in a few cancer jokes and you’ve got yourself some fine early morning chuckles.
Speaking of depressing songs, Anthony explains that his mother’s husband Sal always gets choked up when he hears that awful “Christmas Shoes” song, about the kid who is buying a new pair of shoes for his mother who is about to drop dead. Rumor has it that she had been fatally injured by one of Grandpa Fogelberg’s exploding glass cabinets and after some time in the hospital it was time to make funeral arrangements. Better pick up a set of formaldehyde insoles with those festive shoes, kid. Momma’s gonna need ‘em. Merry Christmas!
Op plays a quick news story about a woman who came home to find all her Christmas presents had been stolen from right under the tree. That’s the spirit! 7:00 Poot ‘n’ Toot The guys play some audio of a German guy who plays “O Tannenbaum” on the recorder by farting into it. Those Germans sure know how to misuse gas. And no we won't embed that here. His heiney is showing.
Goodness Gracious! Pettitte has admitted to using Human Growth Hormone twice to help speed his recovery from injuries. Good for him. Movie Stuff...
Boring actor Will Smith’s new movie “I Am Legend” topped the box office this past weekend. Hoo hoo! They’re rippin’ Ant off, Robin! The car driven by Smith’s character is a Shelby that looks just like Anthony’s. In the opening scene the car roars past a big XM sign on a building. Interesting.
Watch the first five minutes of the film right here. “Alvin and The Chipmunks” also did very well over the weekend. I guess Jason Lee was smart to do that film after all.
Top Tens... It’s the end of the year, so every friggin’ magazine and website is coming up with their Top Ten Lists. ECCCCHHHHH! Maxim put out a list of the 10 Best and 10 Worst things that happened for men this year. Check it out here.
7:30 After about 2 weeks Anthony’s video podcast dealing with home defense should be online later today. Technical guru Lazlow has added some nice sound effects. I can’t wait to see what our lunatic pal Ant is gonna rant about most. Get out the popcorn, kids! WATCH
Danny also found a couple of fear mongering campaign spots. It’s some political douche trying to scare the public into electing him. Who cares? Less Bang For Your Buck 20 Million US marriages are sexless. Op says that, basically, the report states that guys are bored with their wives. Almost nobody calls in about this, because they are scared of getting yelled at by the wives they aren’t having sex with.
Can someone call in tomorrow? This subject has potential. WTF? No wonder Bill cheats... Hillary Clinton is looking a bit haggard these days. Is this the toll campaigning takes on people? Check out this frightening photo from Drudge.
Speaking of Clintons, Bill was on Charlie Rose blasting Obama and his supporters, saying that the guy started his presidential campaign right after becoming a senator. There are several reasons I will not vote for Obama, but the number one reason is his middle name: Hussein. Howabout NO! Here’s a li’l bit of fun: Can Jimmy name all 50 US States? NOPE! What, did you think I was gonna tease that? 8:00
Opie saw “Walk Hard” and was disturbed to see male junk featured in one scene. Op, after working with Jimmy for so many years I’d think you would’ve become a bit immune to that sort of thing. Maybe it’s that you always expect that kind of silliness from Jimmy... not from a movie. At least the scene wasn't accompanied by gastric eruptions a la Norton. Some idiot named Ian calls in saying that he can name all 50 States and he’s sickened that the boys don’t know them right off the bat. As soon as he starts reciting them he gets hung up on. Thank you, Opie. More of those year end Top Ten Lists we all love to ignore: Top Ten Films of The Year?
#1 is Spiderman 3. Ok then. Top Music Tours? #1 is The Police. Top Websites of 2007? #1 is teh Google Top CDs of 2007?
#1 High School Musical Sountrack. We are doomed as a species. Top Pop Song of 2007? #1 Fergie with "Big Girls Don't Cry" The guys brought up the earlier story of the sexless marriage report again. It wasn't given much time because it for some reason nobody called in about it.
Ant gets on the subject of his own former marriage... namely when he would come home after working all day and, for whatever reason, his wife would have the house blazingly lit with dozens of candles and a nice dinner made for him. All Ant wanted to do was get to his computer to play Half Life 2. No sex for him, thanks! By this time Anthony was done with her. She would even try lighting the fireplace to "set the mood..." the same fireplace that she would burn each and every radio memento Anthony possessed when they broke up a short time later. Ahhh... love! 8:30 John C. Reilly is in studio.
This is John:  The boys ask John about that spectacular singing scene from Boogie Nights and if it was hard to sing it so badly, since his new film shows that he really CAN sing. He says that in BN he was actually trying his best to sing that cheesy song. Oh jeeze.
Here's the clip. WTF? Why no YouTube link/Embed? Opie wants to know what the deal was with the naked dude popping up on screen in the new movie. John says that it was just for yucks. His character was so debauched at that point that the naked guy and his non-reaction to it was used to illustrate how far he had fallen and how jaded he had become. Plus it got a good laugh in the screenings. The guys discuss Reilly's very interesting career, including working with Philip Seymour Hoffman. They had done a play together where they would switch up their roles every few shows.
Jimmy, ever the obessive lad, talks more about Boogie Nights with John, who tells a few amusing things that happened on the set. One of which ends with John not wanting to shake a porn actor's hand after he saw him "manipulating" himself. I can understand not wanting to shake that custardy paw. Check out John C. Reilly LIVE at The Knitting Factory on Wednesday, December 19th. He'll be doing his Dewey Cox act with a bunch of songs from the movie. Nice! We will be back tomorrow with more words and pictures.
------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore Links, Pics & edits by Joe C.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2007
Posted: Friday, December 14, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007 Is it Friday? Why, yes it is. 6:00
The George Mitchell report is out and in Major League Baseball steroids are EVERYWHERE! It names tons of players, most notably Roger Clemens. Goodness gracious! "People are saying" that this taints the NY Yankee legacy. Does it? This is the Age Of Steroids In Baseball. Whatever happened to the Age Of Aquarius? Harmony and understanding, indeed. Wait. What? NINE Yankees from the 2000 championship team are named as being on the ‘roids. I don’t care. Steroid use wasn’t banned from MLB until 2003. 22 Yankees past and present were named. Conspiracy? Senator Mitchell is on the board of the Boston Red Sox... doesn’t he have a natural loathing for the Yankees? Maybe he does, but many other guys who never played for New York were named, too.
K-Rock GM Tom Chiusano a Snore-oid user? We’ll tell ya about it at 11. Years back there were no steroids in baseball…or anywhere. The boys talk a bit about Ye Olde Tyme baseball re-enactors... Op says that people who play by 1888 rules scoff at people who play by 1902 rules. Why hate? You’re all dressed like idiots. I hope typhus sweeps through the ranks of historic baseball re-enactors and makes those of us who don’t play very happy. I'm just sayin'. 6:30
Opie says that baseball has gone through many eras: The All White Era, The Dead Ball Era, Pine Tar Era, Corked Balls and Bats, The Expansion Era, and most important of all, the glorious Age Of Bob Apodaca. Now we are firmly entrenched in the Age Of Steroids. Everyone knows that players are using them, and most people don’t care that much. Listeners call in, both for and against steroid use. Op wants them to let players take steroids so we can see the ball getting blasted out of the park. I want to see some spectacular 600 foot home runs. We don’t need a bunch of Rod Carews slip-a-slappin’ dribble balls for bloop singles. That’s just not fun. Horses swat at flies with their tails harder than Carew slapped at a baseball. Let's see it get to the point where the players are so musclebound and steroid fueled that the dugouts need to be reconstructed with steel cages and heavy chains at the entrances to keep the savages in check until we need them. On a side note, Black Earl is an idiot. I mean an IDIOT.
7:00 “I Am Legend” starring Will Smith is coming out today. If you plan on seeing it, make sure you avoid reading Page Six of the New York Post today, because it contains a huge spoiler: the ending of the film. “Alvin And The Chipmunks,” which stars the formerly respectable Jason Lee, is coming out today as well. I’m glad because now Conglomerated Sam will have something to watch over the weekend that's geared towards him . How’s that 8 year old’s diet going for you, Afro Boy?
The inaccurately named Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is set to induct Madonna. Is she a Rock act? John Cougar Mellencamp is also going in. That overrated midget is curmudgeonly and unpleasant. O&A had him on the show years ago and he had a bitchy attitude. I hope his little pink house collapses on him while he's smoking one of his five daily packs of cigarettes. Why are those acts being inducted when artists like Rush, The Cars, The Doobie Brothers, Styx, Dire Straits, Deep Purple, Journey, Carole King, Cheap Trick, Boston, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and scores of other legitimate ROCK stars are not in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame? ECCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH! Cleveland ROTS.
7:30 O&A Influence? Last night “30 Rock” referenced “Lemon Party,” which many of you have been unfortunate enough to see. LINGERRRRRR LONGERRRRRRR!!!! Roland Roland Roland
A new “Grammy Moment” featuring our own Roland singing another song up for an award is premiered. Fantastic! Be nice to Roland or he may wish your baby to be born retarded or to miscarry. Private Message to East Side Dave: Roland can hardly book guests on this show… so why would you think that a few words he said could influence the in-vitro development of a fetus? He doesn’t have psychic or mystical powers, except for his ability to never get cold in a blizzard when he’s wearing nothing on his upper body but a t-shirt and a greasy sheen of sweat. Welcome To The Jungle, stupid. A teacher who heard a teen sing a couple of lines from a Guns N' Roses song over the public address system in her school got so freaked out she went and locked herself up in a closet. The kid didn't know anyone else was in the school, and just had to be a goose. The lyrics “You’re gonna die” sent her into a panic. How could someone that moronic qualify to be a teacher? She should run for President.
8:00 Canadian Public Service Announcements: What the hell is wrong with those people? The cold must affect their brains. O&A play the classic clip where a waitress spills a bit of the customer’s coffee while pouring it, so he decides to throw the rest of the steaming liquid all over her. I wonder if he at least left a nice tip. Here's the clip. No embed because he gets a little too upset. WATCH
Speaking of tipping... how many envelopes have you given out now, Opie? Next year go with the idea of just giving sugar cookies to the entire staff of your fancy and/or shmancy building. Maybe you could have Kenny do a little baking. “Anyding for you, GH! Dank you.” AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!! The guy who plummeted 47 stories is somehow still alive. Reports say that he’s started moving his arms and legs, but has yet to open his eyes. They think that he managed to survive by falling with part of the scaffolding itself, which somehow cushioned his fall. If he survives, I suggest he finds himself a new line of work. Something ground level. Ant talks about the guys who used to work on building skyscrapers in NYC and how they would stand up on those I-beams and have hot rivets tossed to them… they’d catch them in a leather pouch and never wore a harness. I don't even like going that high up a ladder. Forget walking I-beams catching rivets. Opie mentions a thought he’s often had when riding his bike on a sidewalk: You can walk or ride on a sidewalk at ground level with no problem… you’re not likely to fall off the side of it unless you’re Anthony returning from a party at Bar 9. However, imagine if that same sidewalk was suspended 1000 feet in the air, you’d be in a panic and it would seem so narrow. If I had to go onto something that width up that high I’d just ask someone to shoot me instead of having to make the journey across. It would just be easier to take.
Speaking of heights, back to the Canadian PSAs. The point of these is Accident Prevention. The first one is a delight. A guy who says he’s wearing a busted harness is up high on a building and he’s welding. His torch is lit while he’s talking to the camera and he’s distracted when suddenly there is an explosion which sends him falling to his death. Not content with just having the man die, they make sure he bounces off a dump truck. Couldn’t they just have him get blown off and die? NOPE!
The next one is even better. It features a young female chef who’s due to get married soon. She picks up a huge pot of boiling water and slips on some grease she should’ve cleaned up. The water spills all over her face and her skin is scalded away. Once again, that wasn’t good enough: she also had to smash her head on the side of the stove. WTF? Are the guys shooting these PSAs frustrated horror film directors? Things must be tough for them up in Canada since “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” was cancelled. Yet another clip is a woman falling off the very top of a ladder… but her fall is a total WWE over the top dive and she goes right through a glass table. OUCH! The last one is a guy who backs a forklift into a tall set of shelving, sending steel rods cascading down onto and through his body. I would not enjoy that. 8:30
What was the best selling album of the year? WRONG. It was from Chris Daughtry at 3.2 million albums. Wow. Tim The Production Guy brings in a new Grammy Minute... featuring Jimmy “Insert Here” Norton. OooOOOoOOoooOOooooOOOOOoO! Jimmy sure knows his way around a melody! And now it’s time for Opie’s Football Picks, sponsored by Dish Network and selected once again by Brother Elmo.
Bills over Browns Giants over Redskins Saints over Cardinals Steelers over Jaguars Ravens over Dolphins Titans over Chiefs Pats over Jets
Vidiots Of The Far East Once again the Japanese manage to confound us with yet another pointless and bizarre bit of video dreck. Three young Japanese women doing aerobics while singing “I Have A Bad Case Of Diarrhea.” It certainly is a toe tapper. Oy, Canada!
Here’s a fun one. An Air Canada passenger has a panic attack during a flight. Two guys try to hold the guy and calm him down, but he’s not having any of it. He kept yelling that he was going to die and that they were going to shoot him. Then he accused them of cheating. Cheating? Ok then. Something tells me this fella might need to take a tranquilizer next time he flies. What a funster he is! He certainly has a mouth on him too... Once again, it’s Friday. Let’s hope we’re all still around on Monday. Have fun, you awful people! 83! ----------------------------------------------
Written by Steve from Bay Shore Edits (pics coming soon) by Joe C. in NC - Wolfpack Holla! Sorry for the late post. Thanks to Xian for the videos.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2007
Posted: Thursday, December 13, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007 Happy Thursdeee! 6:00
Opie almost shed a tear at the finale of Kid Nation last night. When the kids had to say goodbye to each other it reminded him of when he went to summer camp... he always knew at the end of it that he'd never see those kids he had shared good times with again. While Anthony was a young fella living in racially diverse Central Islip, NY, he went to Paul Bunyan Day Camp and it stunk. Ant says his mom didn't need him and Brother Joe around during the day... this way she could enjoy her summer by recording drunken versions of Janice Joplin hits and hanging out with Joe Klecko. ALLEGEDLY! When Op was a tot he went to a day camp up in Centerport. Now that camp is for Au Pairs who love to lay out by the lake, topless, just like in their European homelands. That sounds lovely.
When Jim Norden was at camp, some genius had the idea that him and his friends should all lie down in their cabin and pretend they were dead. Their 16 year old counselor walked in, took a quick look, and turned around and walked out. Jimmy’s friends were bombing even back then. What a surprise. Back to Camp with Anthony: He was once tied to a tree and had a fat counselor slap him repeatedly on his stomach giving young Ant a pink belly.
Rude. Look Back In Anguish Anthony talks about some childhood regrets... including not talking to a girl who knew he liked her. After she heard about it she gave Ant a big smile while looking at some crappy Thanksgiving display he made in school. Ahhh... memories. Ant also reminisces about his father, who certainly sounds like a charmer.
Ant describes a couple of more instances where he wasn’t bold enough to make a move on a girl he liked, and Opie tells him that his inability to make the move was normal stuff that everyone goes through as a kid. For some reason these memories are still close to the surface for Anthony. 6:30 More talk of Ant’s memories. He says he’s not obsessed, these are just childhood events that added up to make Ant the mental wreck he is today. Jimmy says that at least Anthony isn’t wearing his HS football jacket like some lame douche. Good point, sir. Good point. Speaking of missed opportunities, Opie says he went to his HS reunion a few years back and a girl there whom he had liked from kindergarten right up to HS was following him all around NOW wanting him because of who he’d become. Tough luck, toots. You should’ve been nicer to him when he was on his way up. You lose, whore. Ant talks about a girl named Leigh-Anne who he had no idea had a crush on him when he was a teen... he found out after he left NY for California that she went to his house looking for him and cried when she heard he had moved away. He regrets not being aware she was into him. Another missed opportunity.
By the time he got back she was seeing someone else. Has Ant seen her since then? Nope. Jimmy says that sometimes it’s good to see how some of the girls you once knew look now that they are middle aged, menopausal women. It helps you get over your old crushes, according to the man who used to play with his little male pals under a New Jersey porch and now threatens to throw his girlfriend out with the trash when a hot girl comes into the studio. 7:00 This is 100% real. I 's' you not! Opie says that last night was the first good night’s sleep Tina Turner has had in 35 years. Her former abusive husband Ike Turner died yesterday at 76. Although no details of his will have been released, it’s rumored that Ike left her several pairs of his favorite boots so she could self-discipline herself across her own face when she’s getting too lippy.
The Opie and Anthony Sports Report • There’s a report coming out today on steroid use in Major League Baseball and it may name a bunch of players that long have been suspected of steroid abuse. We’ll have to wait and see. Opie says he doesn’t care whether or not players are using steroids... he wants to see 600 foot home runs. • The Knicks lost again. Who cares?
Speaking of the Knicks... Jimmy brings up a story about a woman who was mistakenly diagnosed with HIV and has been receiving treatment for it for TEN YEARS. She was awarded $2.2 million for all that suffering. Now, the fat mess that successfully sued Isiah Thomas and the NY Knicks for "sexual harassment" was awarded $11 million for being offended. How is THAT fair?
It’s believed the "lady" was awarded so many extra millions so she could afford much needed plastic surgery to make her face at least resemble something from AFTER the Pleistocene Epoch. Spend your money well. More Sports... Opie wants the Patriots to beat his Jets this weekend, hoping they’ll go undefeated for the season. There are only a couple of games to go. Will Op’s sports curse rear its ugly head? Who cares? As long as the brutal looking woman who sued the Knicks doesn’t rear HER ugly head. No offence, Monster Face.
Just one question: Why does she even bother with eye makeup? Her mascara should be applied with buckshot and napalm. I’m just sayin’. 7:00 South Korean scientists have cloned kittens that glow in the dark.
For real... This is so awesome... I want! Jimmy is pissed because he can’t make a couple of cat eating jokes because everyone in corporate America is afraid of offending ANYONE. Isn’t that one of the keys to comedy? A little bit of good natured offence? The boys start telling the story... were they actually dumped from the air for a minute? I ain’t tellin’!
‘Tis the Season... Opie has himself a stack of 37 envelopes containing Christmas tips for people who work in his fancy new apartment building. Where did Opie get that many Fives? Pointless Trivia: Op lives right under George and Louise Jefferson.
Anthony thinks the list Opie received from his building which includes names and photos of each of the employees plus their job descriptions smacks of extortion. The guys talk about the rules for tipping and they are all a bit appalled that people seem to expect a nice fat tip at the end of the year. Speaking of expecting a nice fat tip, write your own Steve C. rest stop joke. 8:00 Jimmy Norton will be appearing at Wisecrackers in Scranton, PA this weekend.
Oh dear. Hooray! “Rear End” Al Sharpton is being investigated for possible mishandling of campaign funds that he collected when he ran for president. He’s having a press conference today where he’ll undoubtedly blame this whole thing on the "White Devil." Postal Lunatic
The boys play some audio of a guy yelling at a postal employee. We have no idea what set him off, because it sorta starts in the middle of his rant, but what we have is choice. “That’s your job, sweetie!” and “The customer is always right. YOU are WRONG!” Here's the video. No embed because the irritated gentleman uses some naughty language. This man is a delight.
The guys all talk about people being either rude or slow when waiting in line. Opie tells a story about how he tried to punch a nasty cabbie through a hole in the partition glass. It seems that our pal Opie gets himself into some interesting altercations: under water, in cabs, getting his side view mirror punched off his Jeep. Nice. The kid’s got style, ya gotta give him that. 8:30
Don’t forget that video of Erock taking the "Cinnamon Challenge" and failing miserably. That cloud of brown dust coming out of his mouth and nose makes him look like an inept dragon. Check it out, damn it! Tim The Production Guy made a nice li’l piece using Erock’s choking audio that has him suffering through his first night in prison. Poor Erik! In the clip it sounds as if Erock is getting to live out Rich Vos’ prison fantasy. LINGERRRRR LONGERRRRR! Top Ten List of thzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Time Magazine listed the Top Ten Cringe Worthy Moments Of 2007. Read the boring list yourself, Stupid. Big-AAAAA! Jimmy says Big-A looked more insane than usual yesterday with his greasy hair and monstrous body. Ant says Big-A has the same hair as Hitler after he worked himself into a sweat giving a speech at the Nuremberg rallies. Ant also points out that Big-A has the body type of another famous German: Head of the Luftwaffe Hermann Göring. Was the Reichsmarschall ever that chubbed out? Perhaps he was.
Who are the top 10 crazy looking O&A fans? Jimmy says number 1 through 8 are Big-A. Ouch. The show finishes with A Grammy Moment...
Big-A singing “Hey There, Delilah.” Wow, that’s creepy. Where’d ya hide the body, Andrew? Enough of this palaver. Seeya tomorrow. To everyone on the East Coast... Enjoy the crappy winter weather. ------------------------------------------- Written by Steve from Bay Shore
Links, pics & edits by Joe C.
WHAT DID WE LEARN? WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2007
Posted: Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007 It's Whip 'Em Out Wednesday! Get to work, ladies! 6:00
The boys have Discovery HD on in the studio this morning. Footage of a Brazilian tribe is being shown and the natives are doing the various things a South American tribe does: building huts and cutting into the skin of each other. Opie says that they all seem to have that "A Hard Day's Night" haircut that's so fantastic. Native breasts are being shown. However, for some reason the buttocks are being blurred out. Apparently Discovery HD fully supports Whip 'Em Out Wednesday, but not Show Your Aboriginal Ass Wednesday. For some reason those natives just LOVE to dance, and dance they do. Jimmy thinks perhaps we should test Neutron bombs on them... just to make sure they still work.
The guys just cannot look away. I was hoping they’d show them cutting out someone’s heart and tossing it down the side of a pyramid, but they didn’t. Blah. 6:30 Don’t forget Jimmy Norton’s 8PM show this New Years Eve at the North Fork Theater at Westbury. Afterwards we’re heading up to FH Riley’s at 400 New York Avenue in the heart of Huntington Village. Be there, or you suck.
The Cinnamayo Kid Yesterday, over at the other place, Erock took the Cinnamon Challenge by trying to swallow a dry spoonful of ground spicy goodness. Here's Erock's attempt at swallowing cinnamon...
Wow, did that not go well. Bloated Comedian Bob Kelly, described by some as a “Whalerus,” was the one who shoved the heaping teaspoon of cinnamon down unfortunate Erik’s eager li’l throat. He immediately began to choke, sending p | |