My Thoughts Postings for August 2008
A CLUB EXPERIENCE
Posted: Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The movement of bodies on the dance floor, the lights surrounding everyone figures in the dimly lit room as loud bass cranks through your eardrums. Always tight but forgotten security watches the ups and downs on both the dancing and drinking, the sober and the drunk, the sexy.. and white.
The factors that push us all to want to group in these places. The riveting feeling of pushing up against a random, or against your lover, a portion of public affection that can be shared with the entire club. The lights reflecting off his/her skin, the panting of the duo after a song. The glass of water poured down your lovers throat, and the ice used like a hockey puck in a game of tonsil hockey.
The feeling of being together with friends, laughing and singing to your favorite beats. Oh the advantages of being youthful, and how it gives us that golden opportunity to enjoy life to the fullest. The jealousy, the love, the passion that flows through each of us every night we go out and do the things we do best. It's a club thing.
Posted by Bkusnyir22
at 7:58 PM
RELATION
Posted: Sunday, August 17, 2008
I offer a sense of security as I hold her. “Be peaceful,” I whisper in my heart, “feel my everlasting love and do not be fearful of me. I give everything to you without restrictions.” I shake my head and cry a little each time I ponder about the sincerity of my words… There is no doubt that my intentions are genuine, but I cannot help the overwhelming questions that plague my mind.
Without words, I display my thoughts and feelings through daring actions. I close my eyes as I carefully run my hand through her hair. She sighs loudly, feeling content as she wraps his arms tightly around my waist and buries her face in my chest. “You’re warm…” she spoke, her voice muffled. I smile as I rub her back. I hesitantly lower my head, my lips grazing her hair and my nose unselfishly inhales her distinct scent.
Parked in a familiar place, the air became cool announcing proudly that spring is yet to come. The sun had set a few hours earlier and the only light that surrounded us is a post supporting a street lamp that emits a small quantity of power. The naked trees sways lightly by peaceful winds and the excess snow that did not melt when the sun was shining warmly earlier in the day become frozen again. Vehicles that pass by in the area are not consistent and scarcely, individuals walk by on the sidewalk lost in their thoughts, comfortably. The stars gracefully sparkle and shine brightly, not a cloud that covers the massive infinite space.
I strive to cherish every passing moment and appreciate every event regardless of its significance. This task proves to be quite difficult for I become very involved in current circumstances and time seems to elapse quickly when I would rather time to slow it down or stop completely so that I may continue to hold her… Embrace her without interruption. All was silent except for the music that plays softly in the background and periodically became a distraction for me unintentionally mainly justified by the significance of the songs.
I open my eyes smiling at her and continue to stroke her hair, occasionally outlining her left ear with my delicate fingertips. She positions herself so that I may embrace her, her eyes closed. I sit in the passenger seat, as she lay sprawled across from the driver seat. She removed her shoes earlier to allow comfort for her and as did I, although my toes faced each other bashfully. Her legs dangled freely and her breathing was calm and consolidated. Tears welled in my eyes, ready to flow because I began to feel an intense, sharp pain in my heart. I forgot what the feeling was like… I quickly calm myself so that I do not disrupt his peace. I close my eyes again, struggling to pace my heart so that its beat is not recognized and trace my fingers lightly on her back, creating an image of a happy face. I smile as she responds with an image of a happy face as well, tracing the expression with her gentle fingers on my leg.
I no longer try to hold back my tears and they flow heavily down my cheeks. She looks up at me with a sad expression and I hide my face from embarrassment. She carefully sits upright back into her own seat and opens her arms widely. I behave reluctantly as she reaches for me to embrace her and I finally give in, burying my face into her shoulder crying loudly as she positions me onto her lap sideways. She rests her head on my own as she rubs my back gripping me as I grip her tightly. She kindly lifts my face to meet her gaze and I look up at her as she wipes the tears from my eyes. I stop breathing as I notice her eyes are very sad, just a break away from shedding tears… But she smiles and I smile back, acknowledging her effort to be strong.
As she comforts me, I am silent except for the sounds of my cries… However, my thoughts are loud and I do not verbalize them because fear holds me back. She kisses my forehead and my heart leaps, breaking. “Please…” I cry to my heart as I grasp my chest, “do not let that be our last kiss for eternity… It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done… Care for you and be so alone. I always try to find a way that you can understand the way I feel about you and just how much I need you. Take my hand and say you will follow me.” I open my mouth to express the words that leak from my heart, but nothing is spoken… I sigh heavily as she entwines my hair between her fingers.
I will wait until tomorrow… Maybe you will be better then. Maybe we will be better then. That is my hope for tomorrow and every tomorrow hereafter.
Posted by Bkusnyir22
at 10:14 PM
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