Postings for October 2004
SATELLITE WARS
Posted: Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Satellite Wars I always knew it would eventually come down to this. Satellite radio eventually becoming the mainstream. Don't get me wrong; the FM dial isn't going anywhere. This is just the radio equivalent of the cable revolution in the late 80's. XM and Sirius have always been competitors but I think now is time when the real war begins as both now have a headliner to define them as separate companies, instead of simply "satellite radio". XM being the Opie and Anthony company and Sirius now being the Howard Stern company. The news only came this morning, but already I have, and I'm sure you do to, a shitload of questions regarding this announcement. When O&A announced they would be doing mornings, nobody really thought of it as direct competition with Howard, I think now things have changed drastically and one has to ask how this feud will heat up. One huge question I'm asking myself is whether or not Howard will be a "free" show, meaning no extra charge besides the monthly flat rate, or will Stern opt of a premium free on his extremely dated morning show. If he decides to go non-premium will that be a blow for the O&A show as this could sway peoples decision in deciding which company to choose. Or will it? XM WITH O&A is still cheaper than Sirius alone. I just love the timing of this announcement. Call me crazy, but how convenient is it to announce your jump to satellite radio only days after O&A start their broadcast on XM. My father actually called me at 9 in the morning to break the news to me and I'm glad he did because as I flipped on Howard (Blasphemy! I know! I can't afford XM just yet. Anybody wanna donate?) just in time to hear his ridiculous quote of "Someone had to make the move." Although this behavior doesn't surprise me, I couldn't believe the audacity of that statement. Just another example of Howard believing he's the first one do to something. Not only that, but this announcement comes days after he blasted Leno announcing Conan will replace him in '09, stating "Yay. Nothing happened" in response to all the media coverage on the topic. Although '09 is a tad further out than the 16 months Stern has remaining on his contract, I find that to be highly hypocritical, again, behavior that doesn't shock me from the king of all bullshit artists. I guess the biggest question on everyone’s mind is does Stern have the draw power to generate the over one million new subscriptions it will take for Sirius to make a profit on the deal. Sirius currently holds 600,000 subscribers meaning Howard will have to just about double their current total subscribers. With a show so old and downright stale, can it be done? Howard’s show has melted away from a fresh, exciting and most importantly FUNNY show, to a withered old shell that has hardened into a mostly political show which couldn't be further away from fresh and exciting, let alone funny. I'm not going to pretend Stern doesn't have a huge fan base, he most certainly does. Are they loyal enough to propel the significantly smaller Sirius into actual competition with XM? If this were 1990, I'd say hells yes. I feel Sterns grip on his radio listeners has been slipping. I hear it all time. "I used to listen to Stern, he's just not funny anymore." Sorry, as I write this more details are coming through - This from FMBQ.com "I am developing three channels and I will be bringing lots of talent with me," Stern said of his new playground. "I am not only expanding my role as a radio personality, but I will now begin to program and bring under my brand - under the Howard Stern name - and endorse other performers." The channel that will air Stern's daily program in a continuous loop will be free for Sirius subscribers, which is in stark contrast to XM's premium channel for Opie & Anthony. I guess that answers one of my questions. I honestly don't see this as a setback for the O&A show. If anything at all it will spark some excitement that radio in general desperately needed, and I can't friggin wait to watch O&A dominate the mornings of satellite radio. Let the games begin. FoundryMusicDanny xevilkidx@yahoo.com
HOW NOT TO HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY
Posted: Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Hey Kids, do you want your VERY own COLUMN just like FoundryMusicDanny?!?! Well, CLICK ON OVER TO SITE NEWS and see if you've got what it takes to join in the depravity!
I always thought that no matter who you are, or what type of friends you have, it would be pretty hard to fuck up a bachelor party. Lets be real here there's only one formula to have a good one. Booze, drugs and strippers. I could be wrong though. Seeing as how I just got back from attending my very first bachelor party, and it sucked harder than a tranny at Nortons apartment.
8:45PM
Have you ever seen those busses that take the half-corpse seniors to Atlantic City? Well, the "organizer" of this little endeavor thought it would be a great idea to rent one of these buses for the night. I guess it's not such a bad idea when you're going with fifty or so people. Problem was, we didn't have fifty people. Try 11. So we're not even on the road yet and I'm already pissed off because we had to shell out $90 per for this piece of ka-ka bus.
9:30PM
We didn't even have a stripper on the bus to keep us all entertained. Just a porno. A, as in singular, porno. And who the hell came up with the idea to watch porno movies at a bachelor party anyhow. In my opinion if your watching porno with other guys, there's a hint of fagness going on there. I don't care if you're by yourself but your male dog is in the room. That's still kinda gay. When watching a porno, the only cock that should be in the same room is your own. So as the droopy titted, middle aged woman with the ass like a garbage bag full of corn flakes sucks the mullet-headed guys peesh, there's still about another 2 hours or so before we hit A.C.
12:00 AM
So, OK, the bus ride was awful. Now we're here so, it HAS to pick up now. As we leave the bus the party "organizer" proceeds to drum up a conversation with two of the ugliest, nastiest, cheese ridden hookers I have ever seen. Remember that Alanis Morissette video where she's naked? Like that. Now, talking to whores is all well and good, but this guy decides he's gonna talk to them for 25 minutes. I really don't have time for this. I want to hit some casinos and start losing some money. As we quite literally drag him away, I already have that feeling that the night isn't going to get any better.
Anyhow, the group decided they all want to see some funbags. Glorious, angel-like funbags. Of all the titty joints in A.C., we end up in a fucking "go-go" bar (non-nude) simply because they serve alcohol. Now, if you're on this website you're obviously an O&A fan. I'm sure you can recall they many conversations they held regarding that one retard in the group who actually thinks the dancer wants to bang him. That's what I had to put with for the next hour. "Dude, man, she keeps lookin at me dude. Fer real." That, and the guy who absolutely would not tip any of the dancers. He actually got into an argument with one of these filthy boxen. I paid ten dollars to get in, and at that particular point, I would have paid twenty to leave.
1:30AM
Will we finally hit a casino? Of course not, Silly Sammy, there's way more ugly hookers to talk to. Now, don't get me wrong. This isn't a guy who's 20 who's just really excited to be in Atlantic City. This is a grown man in his 40's, slobbering over every piece of thatch that wafts by. This time he's talking to two of 'em. He's trying to get them to put on a lesbo show in a hotel room we don't even have. They ask him for a room key, so he goes inside to get a room. As he's doing that, the stank hookers say they're going to walk around the block so they don't look suspicious. Because high-heels, a tight miniskirt and no bra doesn't already look suspicious enough. Of course, they never return. But now Mr. Genius had shelled out $200 on a hotel room, so we all decide to go upstairs and check it out.
2:00AM
Eleven guys. One hotel room. No hooker. Not fun. We we're all hungry so we called room service, but that was going to be a 45 minute wait so we headed downstairs to one of the restaurants. Not all of us though. Mr. Obsessed With Diseased Hookers went to go find himself more hookers. This time with a second party. As our food came, apparently so did his, as we spot them heading up an escalator with a blond.
2:30AM
We finish eating, and figure we'd go back to the room to see if they we're still there. We enter just as the hooker is getting dressed, but the dude who fucked her, unfortunately, is butt nekkid. Lets recap. Cock - 1, Tittites - 0. As the whore leaves, she asks me if I'd like some company. Just for kicks I ask "How much?" She says "$200, I'll suck your dick." She probably heard me say "TWO HUND--" before I slammed the door in her face.
3:15AM
With the night just about as over as the Greasman's career, we finally hit the casino. By this time I was so pissed off that the entire night was just one huge waste of time and money, I didn't even gamble. Besides, we had to be back on the bus at 4. I watched as a friend of mine dropped some money on the Roulette tables, and that was pretty much that.
4:15 AM
Back on the bus my plan was to sleep. I had to be at work at 10. But of course I couldn't sleep and just sat awake the entire ride back and went to work tired, angry and miserable. Which is how I spend the majority of my life anyhow.
FoundryMusicDanny
Hey Kids, do you want your VERY own COLUMN just like FoundryMusicDanny?!?! Well, CLICK ON OVER TO SITE NEWS and see if you've got what it takes to join in the depravity!
|
|
