men & women Postings for September 2009
MEN & WOMEN
Posted: Sunday, September 27, 2009
Things you will NEVER hear a woman say department: "Go ahead, leave the seat up, I love surprises."
My weirdo neighbor finally left for vacation, been talking about it for weeks, kept his plans a big secret though. All he kept saying was that he wanted to go where the girls all wore grass skirts. When he left the other day, he took his lawn mower with him. He did say that he was in a hurry to bounce fast because he had found the most wonderful woman in the world, the problem is her husband wants her back. He told me his last lady friend was uncomfortable watching him masturbate, I said "don't worry, she probably shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus anyway!"
Did you hear about the new paint by Benjamin Moore? It's called "Blonde". It's not very bright but spreads easy.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men can understand them.
For sale: Divorced Barbie Doll, $199.00, comes with Ken's house, car & empty bank account.
When HE says: "I was thinking of you and got you these roses",
What HE REALLY Means is: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe and she was wearing a thong!"
Who is the most popular man at the nudest colony? The guy who can carry 2 coffees and 12 doughnuts.
Who is the most popular gal at the nudest colony? The one who can eat the last 2 doughnuts!
Men are like goverment bonds, they take so damn long to mature, but there are advantages to being a man:
Our ass is never a factor in a job interview,
No one stares at our chest when talking to us,
Mechanics tell us the truth,
We don't give a rat's ass if anyone notices our new haircut, AND
The world is our urinal!
But Ladies, be patient, hold us, love us unconditionally, and lead us out of this testosterone-induced fog we live in, and if that's asking too much, how's about a big sloppy blow-job once in awhile?
Remember, never slap a guy who's chewing tobacco!
Emotion(s) while posting: confident
Posted by gypsyjack
at 3:00 PM
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