I PUT THE HO' IN HOEDOWN
Some of the hottest riverbed bitches spend their days swimmin’ down South, with plump jowls that make you wanna jack it on sight. They can’t get enough of a hung salmon with cash money, and most of ‘em are dumb as tackle. The last time I caught the Mississippi River current for a little bayou bangin’, this drunk redneck rapper INSANE SHANE MCKANE laid it all out, in ways every cold-blooded American male salmon can relate to.
Country talk usually makes me want to stuff a rag in the mouth of the hillbilly bass I’m nailin’, but here I can take it. Mixing rap, farm animals, and a Clint Blackish twang, McKane speaks the truth in songs that are instant classics, like "I Always Stand Up Straight In My Handcuffs" and "She Brings Home the Bacon, I Deliver the Sausage". If Dr. Dre were born with fetal alcohol syndrome on a barn floor and drank milk out of cow tits half his life, you’d probably get the same twisted line-dancing shit. It’s STEPHEN LYNCH in a trailer.
You know, when I’m down South, the only part of me that gets milked is my star-studded member by Daisy-Duke wearin’ catfish who get smacked if they forget to tickle my bag with their whiskers. Man, I’m glad I’m a fish. I feel bad thinking about those poor hens McKane splits open with his meat hook in "Rooster In The Hen House." I’ve had some tiny hole in my time, but as a general rule, if it’s smaller than a speck on my scale, I give it a couple years and try again.
He and I got a lot in common. Besides getting lots of shitty head (an on-the-job hazard for me), we’ve both won the "Nobel Peace o’ Ass Prize"— mine was at the SVN awards in Vegas. He’s punched out a lot of his bosses in his day and I’ve tail-whipped more than a few directors, the ones who miss my money shots or ask me to "act". We both got no fuckin’ sympathy for the pussy-whipped, either. He and I agree that if you can’t get great head, you might as well hide in the closet and watch your fellow porn sharks ride that last-call pig until the sun comes up.
You got a handful of tail-tappers on here and for the laugh factor and inspiration, it’s worth the nine bucks off McKane’s site
www.insaneshane.com. Let him
Put The Ho’ In The Hoedown and I’ll take her out back afterward and treat the little princess like her daddy, uncle, and cousins did.
