GOOD GIRLS GONE BLACK
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As a despised member of the vegetable community who’s only packin’ 6 inches of stalk, I don’t get laid much (unless it’s by force). To make things worse, I’ve gotta watch the Terrell Owens look-alike
Sean Michaels turn petite blondes like
Hillary Scott into mindless screaming sluts with his foot-long rod in
GOOD GIRLS GONE BLACK. Me, I’ve gotta bang garlic cloves to feel like a stud. No wonder I’ve got zero self-esteem.
That said, it’s hard to turn off a chick like
Scott who says it’s her first interracial scene, and that she’s "never had a Black cock in her personal life," and then watch her take it up the rear like a true champ. Don’t ask me why, but the eggplants love
Sean Michaels and his series. In fact, they can’t get enough of little white girls skewered on what they call the "big dark chopstick". All I see in my pathetic little produce world is green, green, green. So it IS a nice change to see this color fiesta starring
Paris Lee (who shoulda, in my opinion, been bounced from the cover for
Hillary Scott, or the dynamic duo of girl-next-doorish
Tyla Wynn and slut-next-doorish Kandie Ellison).
"I can’t believe that thing fits in my ass," is the rallying cry you hear throughout the flick. Great. All I usually hear is "I can’t believe there’s something IN my ass." This one coked-up Jersey tomato I was nailin’ said it, so then I grabbed a nearby carrot and turned that poor sap into a farm-fresh drill. It looked like a crime scene when I was through— as red and sloppy as the young teen cheeks Sean slaps raw. Ms. Jersey Grown had to be taken out back and thrown in the dumpster, which is where Tyla Wynn was taking it through much of her scene. I swear, these chicks must be stretched out wider than a shopping cart after Michaels is through.
Now I enjoy a good murder re-enactment with the rest of ‘em, but when Sean puts on a pair of black gloves before going to town on this white chick, I couldn’t help but feel a new level of respect for the guy. The nerdy black-rimmed glasses he wears takes away a little bit from the O.J. effect, but all in all, it was a nice creative touch and gives me some ideas how to make the whores in produce forget about my size. Some of the girls must have been scared, because the Middle Eastern-lookin’
Paris Lee says before her scene, "I like it nice, tender, and sweet. Please don’t try and kill me with it." Lee looks glazed over during most of her action, so she probably took a lot of Vicodin to numb herself up.
If you can make-believe these chicks aren’t taking a shit in reverse, and enjoy seeing Shelly Long’s career get back on track as
Deja Daire, then I would be a rotten broccoli to not recommend this Michaels feature from the fine people at
Platinum X Productions. To a punk with a size-complex like me who’s never been color-blind, it proves the old saying true: skinny white girls love big black dicks.
