Holy Jesus Christ Palamino. This is gonna be simple. Porn stars don’t impress me, I really couldn’t care less that someone is selling themselves in a controlled environment rather than on a street corner. They impress me even less when they try to sing.
Hey, Pink Snow, how serious were you expecting people to take you with songs like “Porn in America,” “Catholic School Girl,” and don’t forget the lovely ending ballad, “Bedtime Story.” The incredibly annoying “Introgasm” got this album off to a bad – no, scratch that – horrible start. What exactly is over a minute of you moaning supposed to do for the album? Were you hoping that your listeners would start whacking it and ignore the crappy music that follows? Maybe if you didn’t look like a mess you’d stand a better chance of that. The guitar work on some of these songs aren’t bad, and the poppy drum beats are somewhat tolerable, so really the main problem is the super stupid lyrics (like, “I cum honey” for instance.) and your HORRIBLE voice. Do you regularly suck on helium balloons?
I hope KELLY OSBOURNE and SYSTEM OF A DOWN sue you for stealing the song names “Shut Up” and “Sugar,” respectively. Let’s not forget the riveting lyrics, “She was hot, she looked like me” from “38D” – full of yourself much?
