LIFE
The flaw in a lot of porn flicks is that the producers think that if
you throw a hot blond on the cover of the box, you will sell a ton of
copies even if the content is complete bovine shite. But don't worry my
pervy pals, I am here to separate the curds from the way. And in the
case of
Life... You're getting cheese food and no cheddar.
The cliché porn noir soundtrack that plays in every fucking scene reminds you of a bad installment of
Red Shoe Diaries.
The sex action is nothing to write home about and the thick Eastern
Block accents do nothing to turn you on. No matter the dialog, you only
hear Borris and Natasha from
Rocky and Bullwinkle saying, i>“I make sexy for you?” and
“This is good cock yes?”
After a while I just gave up and watched this as a comedy. Then hoped
that Fearless Leader would come in with a plan on how to kill Moose and
Squirrel during the orgy at the end.
