You would have thought that a CD starting off with a Jim Florentine/Don
Jamieson prank phone call might be pretty cool. I mean Florentine isn't
such a whore that he would lend his comedic talents to a piece of
shotty product now would he? Damn was I wrong!
Look... I am sure Dan Lorenzo had a blast in HADES and
NON-FICTION. I don't do know what he does while he's not playing
guitar, but I suggest he find and keep a day job in the near future.
This is one of those albums that proves that just because you are a
guitar virtuoso, it DOES NOT mean you should sing. And you sure and
shit shouldn't rap.
Listening to these songs makes me want to disembowel the owner of the
studio this was recorded, the musicians that played on it, the
duplication company that pressed this piece of cow paddy into a CD and
of course Dan Lorenzo.
The only redeeming moments on this schlock-fest is the instrumental
“PHD In Cleveland”. There is also a cover of the KISS classic, “Two
Timer” that isn't completely offensive. In fact you can hear a heavy
KISS influence on the overall composition of this pile of compost. I
will even say that maybe Gene Simmons and Dan Lorenzo should team up
and work on Gene's next solo album. (Man was that a horrid steaming
load) The theory being their individual shittyness of these two artist
might cancel each other out and produce an album worthy of a two out of
5 star rating. But since this will not happen, I will now have to go
find Mr. Lorenzo and drag his sorry soul to one of the lower levels of
Hell.
Pardon me Dan... Lucifer called... He thinks that's quite enough.
You've been warned to stop making these records. And now you must be
punished.
