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Colonel Wetpants
Date Added: 01/12/2006
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INNOCENCE 10: WET

WATCH 'INNOCENCE' ON DEMAND NOW

Allo lads! Col. Miles Wetpants here, and as always with my loyal pigmy Patumbo, here exploring the gorgeous countryside of West Virginia. After a weekend of partying with the co-eds in Morgantown, Patumbo and I headed over to Tallermansville, to go on a tour of a local mine, a staple of the West Virginian economy. Upon entering said mine, I opened a pack of fresh Virginia tobacco and filled up my pipe. What I didn’t know was that there was a high build up of methane gas within, so when I struck my match, BOOM! The methane blew, and the resulting explosion jettisoned Patumbo and I from the cave, in turn sealing up the entrance of the mine. By god, there were miners down there!… Oh well, they’re insured, how much do a dozen mullets cost anyway. All this excitement made me a bit excited, so Patumbo and I swung by a local porn shop, and picked up Innocence Wet.

Innocence Wet is quiet the porno if I may say so. They attempted to shoot this film in some sort of modern art style; the sets consist of one piece of furniture (i.e. a bed, chair, couch) that is very brightly colored, all set against a very bold all white backdrop. I certainly have yet to see a porn where more thought has been put into the set rather than the script.

The girls of Innocence Wet are all extremely hot. Each scene starts out with a little slow stripper dance, to some very cliché porn music. Soon enough the bitch is playing with herself, and not long after that she’s getting railed. The film stars Roxy Jezel a very hot woman in her own right, but the show is stolen by a personal favorite of mine, Nautica Thorn. Collectively the cast is very hot, and the absence of dialogue is always refreshing.

The movie is shot in third person, with every desirable position. There is an awesome lesbian scene, good masturbation scenes, great oral, anal, and cumshots. The behind the scenes extra on the DVD is even pretty good, which is rare. My only gripe with the film is the fucking camera work.

The camera will pan from side to side during the scenes, and not always be focused on the action. This isn’t a fucking David Lynch movie, fire the fucking cinematographer, and keep the camera where it needs to be.

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