DEAR CELESTE
At no point in my life has a porno filled me with rage. In fact, no
mainstream movie has ever done that. (And I’ve seen Adam Sandler in
Mr. Deeds.) With every scene,
Dear Celeste
stoked the flames of disgust to the point that the only way to sooth me
was to draw and quarter my a car full of teenagers from an upper class
neighborhood that isn’t too far from where I live. (Gawtdamn entitled
cracka ass crackaz)
Anyway… This movie should never have been filmed. It was a
waste of time and equipment. If the camera, lights and boom mike were
used to film the beheading of innocents kidnapped by hooded Arab men,
it would have been utilized in a productive way that would have
deserved being massed produced and disturbed, unlike this piece of
shite.
The women that do the fucking in this flick do nothing that
makes you want to have anything to do with your cock. A badger could be
gnawing on your cock and you wouldn’t even be moved to get it off. Why
bother? The sex is terrible and the bitches in these scenes have whiney
voices that make you want to peel off your skin and run screaming into
the night.
Then there is
Celeste Star.
She plays this teenage girl who gets a job at a porn mag answering sex
questions from readers…… This waste of moist orifices has an grating
Southern California accent, the personality of a rotting corpse and her
inability to deliver two lines in a row without inserting “Hmm” and
sucking her fucking teeth between them, makes you want to see her cast
in a snuff film.
