NYMPHO 2
WATCH 'NYMPHO' ON DEMAND NOW
Okay, so long story short: I sold my soul to the devil for fame and a record contract but didn't have the foresight to see that fame doesn't last long when nobody wants to hear music from a cow/bull abortion of a being. So now I'm stuck reviewing porn and music for a living. What shitty fucking existence. But I digress.
We've all encountered artsy porn before. Hot chicks, great editing, lovely music, and NOTHING to wack your bag to. When I saw the cover for this, I thought that was what I was in for. I should be served at McDonald's tomorrow and apologize to
Michael Ninn for being so wrong.
The first scene features the lovely and demented
Hillary Scott (post boob-job). She says, "I want to take a cock in every hole of my body." She's lucky Otto Bauer didn't take her seriously, or her nostrils would be the size of Patrick Ewing's. After molesting herself for MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO about ten minutes, some blonde guy comes in, and she goes Hoover on him. Hillary knows how to gag, and man does her make-up run down her face. Otto steps in and they all engage in some DP and double-vag, both nutting in her mouth at the end.
Next, a couple of little blonde calves are on display.
Annette Schwarz (Euro-broad) and
Adrianna Nicole (American-made) are pitted against each other to see who is the biggest slut. Adrianna has to be one of the hottest chicks ever, aside from the massive tattoo taking up most of the right side of her thigh. These bitches literally smack each other time and time again to see who would give up. Annette wins and receives 100 bucks...which she promptly shoves in her twat. Otto brings in another ox from the stable, who explorers their dumpers and cums on their faces. The passionate cum swap is a very HOT moment. Makes me wish a chick would someday fuck a freak like myself.
Last but not MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO least cums
Jessica Jammer, who has a bit of a Jessica Simpson look to her. Of course, her labia are probably more intelligent than Ms. Simpson, but that's a tale for another time. This chick is a blonde with nice perky titties and a very tight body, just the kind of girl who turns down this freak of a cow every night. Seriously, who wants to fuck a male cow??? The only other thing like me is Mancow, and he sucks my utters. Great fucking company, I might go shoot myself.
PS- The Behind the Scenes footage features a very funny interview with Otto as he nonchalantly gets blown by his lady, the freakishly pale and equally as sexy Audrey Hollander. A great scene for anyone who appreciates porn coupled with comedy.
