KISS: The Farewell Tour" (with special guests Skid
"ALL RIGHT EAST RUTHERFORD!!!...YOU WANTED THE BEST AND YOU GOT THE BEST!!!..." ... DAMN, THAT'LL SEND CHILLS DOWN YOUR SPINE, IF ONLY FOR THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW THAT: 1) THIS IS THE LAST TIME (PROBABLY) THAT YOU'RE GOING TO SEE KISS LIVE, AND 2) SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO BLOW UP REALLY LOUD, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT OFF GUARD AND LOOK LIKE AN ASS WHEN YOU GET THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF YOU... KISS BLEW UP THE CONTINENTAL AIRLINES ARENA LAST NIGHT FOR THE SECOND OF TWO SHOWS. IT DIDN'T LOOK SOLD OUT, BUT IT WAS ABOUT THREE QUARTERS FILLED...NOT TOO SHABBY FOR A GROUP OF FIFTY YEAR-OLDS IN GREASEPAINT. ...AND MORE TO THE POINT, THREE ACTS WHO DON'T HAVE ALBUMS OUT TO SUPPORT.
BEFORE WE GET TO THE CARNAGE THAT WAS KISS, LET'S RECAP THE TWO OPENERS. SKID ROW WAS THE FIRST OPENING ACT, AND BECAUSE I ARRIVED AT THE ARENA LATE, I DIDN'T GET TO SEE MOST OF THE SHOW, WHICH PISSED ME OFF BECAUSE THIS WAS A HOMETOWN SHOW, AND I'VE BEEN HEARING MIXED REVIEWS ABOUT JOHNNY SOLINGER, THEIR NEW LEAD SINGER. I SHOWED UP IN TIME TO SEE "YOUTH GONE WILD", AND TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, IT SOUNDED FINE. HE'S NOT SEBASTIAN, BUT HE SANG ON KEY AND DELIVERED THE SONG JUST FINE. FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD (GRANTED, AND NOT SEEN WITH MY OWN EYES), HE CAN'T DO THE BALLADS. THE PEOPLE IN THE SEATS SURROUNDING MINE DIDN'T SEEM TERRIBLY SUPPORTIVE (WHEN SOLINGER SHOUTED "WE ARE SKID ROW!!" I HEARD MORE THAN A FEW PEOPLE SAY "NO YOU'RE NOT!!!"...
AFTER A SHORT CHANGEOVER, AND WALKING OUTSIDE TO MEET LARRY AND MOTTS FROM THE BAND ATELLO, IT WAS TIME FOR TED NUGENT, IN ALL OF HIS BAD-ASS REDNECK GLORY TO HIT THE STAGE... DAMN, THIS GUY DOES NOT LOOK FIFTY. UNCLE TEDDY WAS BOUNCING ALL OVER THE STAGE, JUMPING OVER AMPS, AND SCREECHING LIKE A TWENTY YEAR OLD. HE HAD TOMMY ALDRIDGE PLAYING DRUMS (HE'S PLAYED WITH WHITESNAKE AND HOUSE OF LORDS), AND MARCO MENDOZA OF BLUE MURDER FAME, ON BASS. FOR THREE GUYS ON STAGE, THEY SOUNDED REALLY TIGHT. THE MIX ABSOLUTELY SUCKED, SO YOU COULDN'T REALLY MAKE OUT ANYTHING SPECIFIC.... I'M NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF HIS, BUT I DIG WHAT HE DOES. I WAS PRIMARILY WAITING FOR HIM TO DO HIS SIGNATURE, "LET'S SAY SOMETHING THAT'LL PISS OFF A FEW THOUSAND PEOPLE" SPEECH. ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES INTO HIS SET, HE WENT OFF ON REVEREND AL, JIM FLORIO, PRESIDENT CLINTON, JANET RENO, AND OTHERS. HE CAPPED OFF HIS LITTLE PRO-AMERICAN TIRADE BY SHOUTING "IF YOU DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE COUNTRY!"...AMEN, UNCLE TEDDY (HOWEVER, IF YOU WANT TO GET REALLY PICKY YOU COULD SAY THAT A LOT OF US DON'T BELONG HERE IF WE DON'T SPEAK NATIVE AMERICAN.....BUT WE WON'T GET INTO THAT HERE) . OF COURSE, NO TED NUGENT SHOW WOULD BE COMPLETE WITHOUT THE OBLIGATORY "GREAT WHITE BUFFALO" ENCORE, WITH TED IN FULL INDIAN HEADDRESS, AND SHOOTING A FLAMING ARROW INTO ONE OF HIS GUITARS...BY THE WAY, SOMEONE OUGHT TO TELL THE LIGHTING GUYS TO TURN OFF THE SPOTLIGHT ON THE GUITAR THAT'S HANGING UP WHILE THE STAGE HAND RUNS UP ON STAGE TO SWITCH IT WITH THE EXPLODING ONE...JUST A THOUGHT.
AFTER ANOTHER LITTLE BREAK, AND A FEW WORDS FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT ROCKS" HOST, EDDIE TRUNK, THE LIGHTS WENT DOWN, THE ASSES HIT THE SEATS, AND THE CROWD WENT BALLISTIC. IT WAS TIME FOR KISS TO SHOW UP AND DO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE BEST FOR TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS... AND THAT MY FRIENDS, IS TO BLOW THE FUCKING ROOF OFF THAT ARENA (AND IF THOSE PYROTECHNICS HAD GONE ANY HIGHER, THEY WOULD HAVE... JEEZ!)
I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, FOR A BUNCH OF FIFTY YEAR-OLDS, THEY DO A GREAT SHOW (AND THEY SELL MORE SHIT WITH KISS LOGOS PLASTERED ON THEM THAN ANYONE ELSE...BUT THIS IS NOTHING NEW). GENE SIMMONS PROWLS AROUND THE STAGE LIKE THE DEMON HE IS, PAUL STANLEY DOES MORE ASS SHAKING THAN 50 YEAR-OLD MEN SHOULD BE DOING, ACE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING TO FALL OVER, AND PETER... WELL, PETER DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE'S MOVING TOO MUCH...NOT THAT HE SHOULD BE DOING CARTWHEELS, BUT PETER'S STYLE HAS NEVER BEEN THAT OF A ROCK DRUMMER. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN MORE RESERVED. IF KISS DOES ANYTHING WELL, THEY KNOW HOW TO KEEP AN AUDIENCE INTERESTED. LIKE CLOCKWORK (OR A WELL-REHEARSED STAGE SHOW), THERE WAS SOMETHING TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION AND SMACK YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD EVERY TEN MINUTES OR SO...WHETHER IT WAS HUGE PILLARS OF FIRE, FIREWORKS, OR SOME COMPUTER-ANIMATED PRODUCTION ON THE HUGE TELEVISION SCREEN (WHICH, BY THE WAY, LOOKS LIKE IT CAME FROM THAT KISS:ELEMENTALS THING THAT'S ON THE WEB)... THEY KEPT THE CROWD ON THEIR TOES... OR AT LEAST THEIR FEET. PAUL STANLEY'S SPEECHES, HOWEVER ANTIQUATED AND CAMPY, WERE 100% PAUL, AND EVERYONE IN THE ARENA, DESPITE LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF AT EVERY WORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH, GOT A KICK OUT OF THE "HOW YA DOIN' PEOPLE!?!?!" SPEECHES. AT ONE POINT, PAUL GAVE US A LITTLE FRIENDLY ADVICE AND TOLD US NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE... GEE, THANKS PAUL... I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT ONE. ALL IN ALL, IT WAS A REALLY GREAT SHOW, AND I WAS GLAD THAT I COULD CATCH THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH ONE LAST TIME BEFORE THE MASKED ONES VANISHED INTO THE SUNSET. SOMEHOW, I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE LAST WE'LL BE SEEING OF KISS...WITH A THEME PARK AND A FEW MOVIES IN THE WORKS, THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA.
