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IMAGINARY BILL
SONG REVIEWED: "Troy Dorsey"
I MUST ADMIT, WHEN I FIRST GOT THIS DISC, I REALLY WANTED TO HATE THESE GUYS. I SAW THE NAME, IMAGINARY BILL , AND IMMEDIATELY I STARTED THINKING OF COFFEE HOUSES, AND A BUNCH OF STUCK-UP DICKS WHO WERE "TOO COOL FOR THE ROOM"... I TRACKED THROUGH THE FIRST FEW SONGS ON THE DISC, SAYING TO MYSELF "NEXT...NEXT...NEXT..."... THEN TRACK 4 ROLLED AROUND, AND ... WELL, I DIDN'T HATE IT. I ACTUALLY STARTED TAPPING MY FOOT, WHICH PISSED ME OFF, BECAUSE I REALLY WANTED TO THINK OF REASONS TO IMAGINE THESE GUYS BEING TORN APART IN A THRESHER.... BUT I COULDN'T... I LIKE THE SONG.
I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD THE GUYS IN IMAGINARY BILL ARE, BUT I'M GUESSING THEY'RE IN THEIR TWENTIES. AFTER HEARING "TROY DORSEY" THOUGH, IT'S HARD TO THINK THEY'RE NOT A LOT OLDER. THERE'S SOME GREAT WRITING HERE. THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE CLEAN GUITAR RIFF THAT HOLDS THROUGH MOST OF THIS VERY MELODIC SONG... "SIMPLE" IS THEY KEY PART OF THAT SENTENCE. MOST BUDDING SONGWRITERS DON'T GRASP A VERY BASIC CONCEPT... AND THAT IS TO SIMPLIFY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. DON'T MAKE PEOPLE WORK TO HEAR YOUR MUSIC (WHY DO YOU THINK THE BACKSTREET-FRIGGIN'-BOYS SELL SO MANY DISCS? ... WE'RE NOT TALKING COMPLEXITY HERE...OK, WELL IN THEIR CASE IT'S MORE LIKE DOPEY SIMPLE SONGS AND FIVE GUYS WHO MAKE 12 YEAR-OLD GIRLS CREAM THEMSELVES...BUT I DIGRESS)
THE CHORUS KICKS IN, AND YOU'RE HOOKED... A HOOK THAT SOUNDS QUITE BEATLES-INFLUENCED, BUT NOT SO MUCH THAT YOU'D CALL THEM "WANNABE'S"... THE INFLUENCE IS THERE THOUGH. YOU COULD ALSO COMPARE THEM TO TOAD THE WET SPROCKET (WITH FEWER GUITARS)
LYRICALLY, THE SONG IS PRETTY FAR OUT THERE. I MEAN, YOU DON'T EXPECT A SONG THIS MELODIC, AND BALLAD-ESQUE TO BE ABOUT A BOXER... BUT THAT'S WHO TROY DORSEY IS, AND LINES LIKE "...AND IF YOUR TEETH FALL OUT, I'LL SEE YOUR LITTLE SMILE LAYING ON THE GROUND..." MAKE YOU WONDER HOW DRUNK THESE GUYS WERE WHEN CRAFTING THIS SONG.
HOWEVER CONTRARY THE LYRICAL THEME AND MELODY MAY BE, IT'S STILL A WELL-CRAFTED TUNE. IT'S ALSO QUICK. THAT'S RIGHT; THE SECOND RULE OF HIT SONGWRITING: MAKE IT QUICK. THREE TO FOUR MINUTES IS WHAT MOST RADIO-READY SINGLES CLOCK IN AT. OF COURSE, THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, BUT THAT'S THE AVERAGE. IN FACT, IF ANYTHING, THEY MIGHT WANT TO ADD A VERSE TO THE SONG, BUT IT'S NOT CRUCIAL... NOT ONE OF THE SONGS ON IMAGINARY BILL'S DISC IS OVER FOUR MINUTES LONG.
IF YOU STILL NEED INSENTIVE TO GO OUT AND PICK THIS DISC UP OR SEE THEM LIVE, JUST TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT TRACK 12 IS TITLED "MY RUSTY TROMBONE" AN HOMAGE TO THE ONE AND ONLY OPIE & ANTHONY RADIO SHOW.
...AND THAT, AS THEY SAY, IS THAT.
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