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S1M0NE
Repeat after me, folks: "For to have Jay Mohr in your movie is for to have sucky movie" (I love broken English)
Wow, who would have thought Jay Mohr could star in two awful fucking movies in ONE year? Yeah, it's pretty amazing, but if anyone could pull off this amazing feat, it's Jay.
Just when you thought movies didn't get any shittier than The Adventures of Pluto Nash, along comes S1M0NE, the first lousy Al Pacino movie in a L-O-N-G time. Why is it shitty? Well, I have to believe it's for the same reason Pluto Nash sucked so hard. that's right...the addition of Jay Mohr.
Instant flop: Just add Jay.
Honestly though, the premise of the movie is a noble one; What do you do when you're a Hollywood producer and you've become fed up with overpaid, overprivileged, spoiled-brat, moviestars? Why, you create one with a computer program, of course.
It's a great idea. Replace whiny, pretentious Hollywood dipshits with life-like computer animations (something that may not be all-too-unlikely in the future if actors don't get a grip on themselves).
I think what kills it that the actress they found to play Simone (an uncredited, and digitally-touched-up Rachel Roberts) isn't that great of an actress. Sure, she's stunning, but you don't really believe she's the combination of all these great actresses. Pacino's performance as Victor Taransky, a strugging, artsy director/producer, is flawless (probably because he's witnessed so much of this behavior in his decades as an actor)...
Of course, there's always the Jay Mohr factor. If he's in it, it probably stinks.
A good rental (just to watch a bunch of Hollywood heavyweights tool on Hollywood itself), but unless you're going to use the digital zoom on Rachel Roberts' boobs over and over, don't buy it.
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