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RESULTS MAY VARY
I've never been the biggest LIMP BIZKIT fan, and I'm certainly not a fan of Fred Durst (Hell, you could do a 'search' on this site for 'Durst' and find at LEAST a dozen instances of me trashing this guys egocentric ramblings. While I might not respect certain personnel in the band, I've always respected the rebellion they represented. From the 'fuck-you"-ish tone of their cover of GEORGE MICHAEL's "Faith" to the anthemic "Break Stuff", to the hooky, commmercialized "Rollin", I always appreciated where these guys were coming from.
Not anymore. The songs on this disc sound forced; dare I say "fake". I really wanted this disc to stink, because I loathe Durst's pontificating so much. Understand me, please. The songs ARE NOT awful, but they're NOT the Limp Bizkit you know and have grown accustomed to smashing your fist on the steering wheel to. These songs are a lot more mellow, a lot more melodic, and as Fred Durst would have us all believe, a lot more meaningful.
Forget the ego for a minute. Pay no attention to the misogynistic lyrics for a second (not that anyone here really cares; we're all cavemen, to be honest). Forget the fact that Durst parted ways with Wes Borland, his main riff-writer for every other Limp Bizkit disc.
The songs aren't going to blow your drawers off. They're not dispicable, but there's nothing terribly anthemic on Results May Vary. The music is much more mellow than anything we've heard from Limp Bizkit in the past three studio discs. The first few tracks make these guys seem like they're less-concerned with speaking their minds, and more worried about losing their audience in a time when Nu-Metal bands are falling by the wayside of music consumers all over the country. As the tracks wear on, you'll hear what is supposed to be a "serious" and "mellow" Fred Durst. I'm not buying onto it. Smells like snake oil to me.
Also, the cover art...That's the ugly green cover art with a picture of Fred Durst shouting. Two words, man; Fucking stupid. You're in a band, dude. How's about we represent those guys? Too much of the sandbox to give up, Fred? Say it ain't so.
The biggest generalization I can make is to say that with Results May Vary, Durst doesn't have anyone tempering him. There's no counterpoint to Fred's silliness, and the end result is sixteen rather insincere sounding songs. Not that I have anything against ex-SNOT guitarist Mike Smith, because his playing is stellar on this disc...but losing Wes Borland was a mistake.
The first single "Eat You Alive" starts out with a great riff (Thank you Mike Smith), but the chorus isn't blowing skirt up. Also, when Fred is singing "I'd love to sniff on them panties now" to Bill Paxton's daughter in the video for the single, I was constantly praying that Paxton would jump out from behind a tree in full ALIENS-colonial marine-fatigues and blow Durst away for saying that shit to his daughter...no such luck... considering we live on Earth, and shit like that doesn't happen all too often.
Limp Bizkit fans will get off on the main "Give Me The Mic" riff...but I'm not sure the lyrics are identifiable.
"Build A Bridge" could contain some of the dumbest lines ever committed to music; "Build a Bridge of Memories/Stretch it out overseas" as well as "'Build a bridge for the pain/ Send my longing down the drain"...whuzzat mean?
I can't stand SNOOP DOGG when he's rapping alone, so sticking him with Fred Durst just gives me two reasons to hate "Red Light Greeen Light".
"Phenmomenon" sounds like a blatant rip of PUBLIC ENEMY's "Bring The Noise" at times, but that's OK, because it sounds like Chuck D. is supplying backup vocals (after reading the liner notes, the song has credit list a mile long...so the Chuck D. vocal is credited, as are all the copyright owners and production guys who engineered the samples used throughout the disc).
"Behind Blue Eyes", the WHO cover (the video for which features Durst sucking face with Oscar-winning actress, Halle Berry), is well-done, but it's not theirs. It's a cover.
Limp Bizkit fans will like Results May Vary, but anyone wishing for the soundtrack to smashing his or hands through a plate glass window should just skip the music and start breaking glass.
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