GINA LYNN'S CLOSE-UP
Porn, porn, everywhere and not a penis to play with. Such is the life of a lowly broccoli such as myself and brother, does it PISS ME OFF. Sometimes I think this is cruel and unusual punishment brought on by my refusal to review video games for a few months. Sure, I spent countless hours flapping my leafy arms up and down on PS2 and XBOX controllers, blowing away innocents with a myriad of violent games. You'd think I could crank out ONE fucking review? Nope. Of course not. I got lazy. Got my head all fuckered up on 'shrooms... the portabello variety.
Now the boss has me reviewing porn because that dipshit non-English speaking chunk of love snot in the smoking jacket decided to take a vacation in some Portugese woman's pubes. I'm here, working late on the day after Thanksgiving (Thankful as hell that no one chopped me up and served me with fucking melted cheese)...reviewing
Gina Lynn's Close-Up.
First off, how much can one woman...even in the porno industry...screw? If you're
Gina Lynn, and you're in THIS movie, you'd have your audience believe that you're bangin' 24/7. Well, as familiar as I am with the human body (you chop up a stockboys or so, and you get pretty knowlegable), I can tell you that NO ONE screws this much. It's a hell of a concept for a DVD, but I firmly believe that if a human female had THIS much sex, that her vagina would in fact, fall out.
Now I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say, "Hey Brock...What about all those gang-bang videos?" or "Remember when
Houston banged 600 guys all at once?"
Shut up or I'll chop you good. I'm trying to make a point here.
According to
Gina Lynn's Close-Up, Ms. Lynn wakes up, goes on her morning bike ride, picks up some random schlub, fucks him, goes home, videotapes 2 people fucking, goes on a porno shoot, fantasises about
Trinity screwing some tattooed muscle-head on a lawn chair, then comes home to take a bath, jerks off near the tub, then goes out and fucks some more. All that screwing = Vagina falls out.
You DO get to watch
Trinity bang some dude with a massive sausage and a ton of tattoos on a lawn chair, though.
