JEWEL DE'NYLE's XXX PLATINUM BLONDES
I can't tell if the boss is just overworked, lazy, or if he really does have TOO MUCH SMUT to review. In the past week, I've seen the guy hand out smut DVDs like candy to
the fish (sure, he TELLS you he's finding them in the river, but why he hasn't figured out yet that the boss is tossing them there, I'll never know. He's an idiot fish, I guess), the
old man who pees himself, that
dumbass ape (please don't tell him I said that; he'll tear me to shreds), and that
non-English-speaking sperm... Regardless of why he's doing it, he's giving out the spank material. Which, I have to say, in my case, is a little insulting. I have nothing to spank, other than some zit-faced stock boy over the head with the dull end of my axe.
So here I am with
XXX Platinum Blondes. This is
Jewel DeNyle's all-blonde-chick fest. Blonde chicks. I used to see 'em in the store. Housewives and soccer moms, mostly, but the deli guy and the produce bastards would trip all over themselves. Well this is a video FULL of 'em, and they're all taking it up the but eight ways to Sunday.
You should see this one Australian/English/Funny-talking chick who uses what looks like a purple jackhammer on her keyster right before taking it up the can from some workout freak. She then gobbles up this guy's pepperoni after taking getting rectally examined.
Then there's the cover blonde,
Jamie Brooks. Now I dunno who this chick is, but she's got a decent body, tiny boobs, and gobbles nut like a champ. She, like every other blonde in this movie, gets put through the ringer in every entry imaginable.
Honestly, I just got more and more pissed with every scene, because it's not that I
DON'T get the whole porno thing. It's just that I don't GET OFF. I CAN'T... and that's frustrating. That's why I play the violent games. THAT's why I'm always chopping shit up. Oh, screw it. I'm getting my axe outta here.
