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Posted By:
Big Dick Salmon
Date Added: 03/14/2004
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JEWEL DENYLE's SPREAD 'EM WIDE Vol. 2

OK, so get this... I'm on one of my smut-searching expeditions over by the beaver dam, when the boss man chucks a DVD into the river for me. I think he mentioned something like "Get on this, Dick.." OK, fine. Whatever. The last movie he gave me to check out was pretty damn good, so chucked Spread 'em Wide Vol. 2 into the old player to see what was cooking.

Holeee Mackerel, you really have to hand it to a chick like Jewel DeNyle. She spent enough time on her walking-upright human back to know what other humans are willing to pay for, and now she's making the product better than anyone else.

First, you gotta understand that this chick doesn't hire slouches. There are quality models and chicks lining up to be in Jewel's videos. When you see Ariana Jolee doing her scene with Joey Ray, you know it's gonna make your fins stand straight up and your gills flap a little faster.

The BEST scene in this flick, and I'm saying this as a fish who has seen a helluva lotta porno, is Jewel's scene with Anthony Hardwood. Now this Hardwood guy is irrelevant for the most part, because what you shaved apes really need to pay attention to is the first few minutes of the scene where Jewel is TALKING to the camera. I have no idea HOW she does it, but she really gives the illusion that she's talking to me...and my salmon penis...which if I'm not extra-careful, is going to smash right into the rocks on the riverbed. So with that said, off I go... and off YOU should be going to pick up Spread 'em Wide Vol. 2.

How was that, boss?

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