AS ONE - CHAPTER FOUR
Gorilla remember when younger, daddy gorillas used to sit baby gorillas in circle, sitting Indian-style (who invent 'Intdian-style' anyway? Find me one Indian sitting like that, and Gorilla give you a hundred bananas...but Gorilla digress)... and tell stories about other gorillas being hunted by angry humans with small penises. Was fun to hear stories then. Is still fun to hear stories now. Even when German metal bands tell stories with music.
METALIUM is German band that likes to tell stories with music.
As One is story about 'Metalium'...metal loyalist... searching for female. Is familiar story. Gorilla look for female gorillas all the time. Easy to find them. Girl gorillas in cage next to Gorilla's. Only too far away to jump on top of girl gorilla and do horizontal boogie. Maybe if Gorilla play METALIUM music about metal dude looking for chicks, girl gorillas come and visit. Fat chance, because girl gorillas into Barry White.
Bassist Lars Ratz have cool pointy bass. Pointy bass makes better metal. Is fact. Listen to "Illuminated (Opus One)"...strongest story song on story album...it starts with badass guitar riff, and thumpy bass. Pointy bass make better thumpy bass notes for better metal. Song also 9:45 long. Long enough for Gorilla to rock out and make cool rocking out Gorilla poses so girl gorillas pay attention. "Athena" start out sounding like song on new LOSTPROPHETS disc,
Start Something...so METALIUM get Gorilla thumbs up for sounding hip.
Metalium from Germany, and Germans like to eat sausage. Gorilla go to bossman's house for dinner one time, and bossman make bratwurst and sauerkraut. Gorilla love bratwurst with spicy brown mustard. No like nasty Gorilla farts that come after. Girl gorillas no like them either.
