ASSHOLE
Hoo boy! I dunno whether to bow down to the almightee God O' Thunder, or call the old folks home to take away a delusional old man. I am THAT confused, lemme tells ya.
OK, so here's Gene Simmons. He's doin' his thing with KISS (well, as much as anyone can call it Kiss at this point, seein' as it's only him, Paul Stanley, Eric Singer, and Tommy Thayer that's tourin')... he's also got every piece o' Kiss merchandise under the sun that he can get hisself licensed... and he's developin' shoppin' malls and hotels in China... and he's writin' books and givin lectures and all that good stuff...
...and he's got time to writes his self some tunes and release a record?
Well...kinda
Ya see, while these songs on
Asshole... or
***hole if you gots an edited version... is all Gene Simmons songs, thems was all mostly written ways back. Likes the one him did with BOB DYLAN called "Waiting For The Morning Light", or the one from Frank Zappa's archives called "Black Tongue" (which is a purty cool tune, I gots to admit)...then there's songs that sounds like thems was leftover from
Carnival Of Souls...like "Weapons of Mass Destruction"...and the song "Carnival of Souls" (my boy Gene has his son Nick singin' on it).
The song "Asshole"... uhh... I know it sez here in the press release that it's radio friendly...but umm... I don't think "Asshole" is a reely radio-friendly word, Gene...sorry. Oh, and the edited version of this CD blows donkey ass... instead of singin' "Asshole" in the chorus, thems is singing "Baaaah-hole"...ya know, like a sheep? Sooo lame.
I kinda likes the song "If I had a gun"...cuz ya know... it makes me think 'bout what I'd do if I had a gun...oh and the chorus is cool too.
"Sweet and Dirty Love" sounds like somethin' KISS mighta did like 20 years ago...make that 26 years ago... and throw in some
Hot In The Shade fer good measure. My boy Bruce Kulick played axe on it too, so that makes it OK.
Oh man...
Richie Kotzen recorded some guitar too...on the Zappa tune. That made me want to touch my leathery privates.
Ya really get the feeling Gene digs the BEATLES when ya hear "Beautiful"... sounds like John Lennon rose up out o' da grave...and then spun around a few times...heh...see, I mades me a joke about Lennon spinnin' around in his grave... uuhhh...ok, I'll stop.
I was all set to say that the cover o' "Firestarter" was one o' the best on this disc...uhh, but then
I saw the video... The song ain't bad, but the video shows ya how out of touch my boy Gene really is.
One more thing - cover art. the cover art on the UNCUT version of
Asshole is great. It's Gene surrounded by a bunch o' chicks o' all shapes n' sizes... ya know...all the kinds o' chicks he bangs. The EDITED version of the disc is just Gene's ugly ass standin in a room by his self.
MAKE SURE YOU GETS THE UNCUT VERSION
